Hard to Elevate, two-thousand-and-eight (user)

[Tipod]

This really should've been the first thing I posted.  indeed. Intros have never been a specialty of mine since, so I pretty much held off on it. In hindsight, it wasn't that hot of an idea 

For what I is... I's just a geek of the writing variety. I'll watch any Law & Order from before Jack McCoy became head of the DA's office, hated CRASH (both the movie and possibly the show), love any kind of witty dialogue ("Cook, this meal tastes like soot. What'd you flavor it with, your mother's ashes?"), am currently running Capitalism 2, and just finished lunch.
Hope that's good enough for a belated introduction I'll try not to be a complete trainwreck of a poster during my stay.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Woohoo, a newbie!

Congratulations, here's your newbie showbag. It contains:

One, small, bent bit of metal with a sort of lump at the end.
One, cover for same.
One, same.
Another, small, bent bit of metal with a sort of lump at the end.
One handy box of <snip>s
Thirteen individually wrapped cheese slices, slightly used.
Seven warnings from the moderators to lay low and say nothing.
Five gold rings.
Four calling birds.
Three french hens.
Two bans.
Sixteen annoyed forum-goers.
One voucher for the bar, stating that if handed over, the bar will provide one free beer. In fine print, it goes on to mention that the beer might even be mostly not water, or some other unsavoury liquid, and that the offer is void on days ending in y.
Five slightly foxed books containing the forum rules.
One fold-out leaflet explaining what to do if you break them, containing an almost entirely blank page with one word in the center, "Don't."
And a greeting card that plays, half a semitone flat, a warbling anthem that ends with "go stick your head in a pig.


Do enjoy your stay.

[Suwako]

Fresh meat!

So do you want it well done or half/raw? 

[Tipod]

llearch, this bag better match my pants

Fresh meat!

So do you want it well done or half/raw? 

Medium, and by God there'd better be criss-cut fries, too.

[Suwako]

Medium, and by God there'd better be criss-cut fries, too.

We ran out ages ago, after we detonated a cow.

[Lysander]

Yeah, I never made an intro thread back in the day. This one welcomes thee to this interesting place, have fun...   

[LionHeart]

*appears in a flash of blue light*

Welcome, new person, to this place of strangeness.

Please leave your remaining sanity (if any) in the secure storage provided, and do remember to keep your claim ticket.

Beware of the box - he's usually up to something. Even if he isn't, you should beware of him anyway, on general principles.

Have a welcome gift. *gives the new person a souvenir coffee mug*

Enjoy being here where the insanity fun never ends.

*waves, and vanishes in a shower of coloured sparkles*

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

*takes coffee mug back*

Dammit, Lionheart, I've told you not to give my coffee mug away!

[LionHeart]

And I keep telling you that is not your coffee mug.

*holds out a stained, murky, fungus-covered object between finger and thumb* This is your coffee mug. You might want to rinse it out at some point. Or decontaminate it...

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

What have you done to it, LionHeart? It was clean yesterday...

[Auragonian]

* grabs popcorn*
hi I'm Auragonian, I'm a bordom master and beware the shapshifting box of doom, he's a jerk. now If you excuse me, I have a fight to watch.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

... Surely you mean, a fight to participate in?

I mean, calling one of the mods a jerk is just asking for someone to take exception...

[Mao]

If someone is taking your exceptions, then you need a better catch block.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

* llearch n'n'daCorna sig-HUPs Mowser *

There, we go. Feel better now?

[Mao]

Unfortunately I was initialized with noHUP.  It's why I never really shut up.  Even when I'm wrong.

[Tipod]

* grabs popcorn*
hi I'm Auragonian, I'm a bordom master and beware the shapshifting box of doom, he's a jerk. now If you excuse me, I have a fight to watch.

*note-take* "amorphous boxes = jerks," got it.

[Auragonian]

... Surely you mean, a fight to participate in?

I mean, calling one of the mods a jerk is just asking for someone to take exception...

I could get the spiked greaves and kick you...but I won't

*note-take* "amorphous boxes = jerks," got it.

Wow, did not expect that to happen.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Wow, did not expect that to happen.

To be honest, neither did I. ;-]

[Lysander]

Hey now, the box may be evil, but he's the good kind of evil. Plus being a box with a tail makes him that much greater.