Corrupt A Wish Revived

[Rakala]

Granted. You sleep for the rest of eternity.

I wish I were a ninja.

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

You don't get all those cool powers that are attributed to ninjas. Instead you have to spend 18 hours a day sifting through mud with a bunch of farmers for the off chance that you might covertly learn something important. And you don't.


I wish that whole Ninja vs Pirate thing never EVER started.

[Eagle0600]

Granted, instead it's both Ninjas and Pirates against Corgatha. Guess who's side most people are on.

I wish that however the next poster corrupts this wish, it's entertaining for me.

[Slowtini]

You are now the opposite gender.

I wish I knew how people deal with odd confessions.
Like. What's the mentality behind people just up and admitting things.
It's always intrigued me.

[Lysander]

Granted, but you can't deal with the result and anytime you or anyone near you needs to confess something the situation becomes immensely awkward.   

[Rakala]

Granted..... or is it?

I wish to sing! And not poorly either.

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

You can't stop singing. The neverending vibrations in your vocal cords cause your neck to dry, crack, and start bleeding. The blood fills your lungs and you die.

But you do get a record deal before this happens.


I wish the administration at my college actually knew how to mail the right letters to the people intended to recieve them.

[Lysander]

Granted, but the college only intends to send massive amounts of junk mail.

I wish to be offered as a sacrifice upon the feast of madness.   

[Rakala]

Granted, but you have a foul taste.

I wish I could dance.

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

You learn to dance. You never master the ability to dance well, or gracefully, but you can technically dance.


I wish my recovery from my cold hadn't made me more aware of how much schoolwork I had to do!

[Rakala]

Granted. You are unaware of it, it never gets done, you flunk out of school, have to become a whore, and die a slow and painful AIDS related death.

[Slowtini]

Error
Error
Wish Not Detected
Shutting down.

I wish Rakala had made a wish.

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

Rakala wished for you to die, and although he suffered horribly for it, his wish *was* granted.


I wish for a nice Vhailor Axe.

[Lysander]

Granted, but its chaotic nature drives you into a berserk rage slaying random things you'd probably rather not.

I wish for a carnage anthem.   

[Darkdragon]

Granted. Ride of the Valkyries will play, in a volume so the people around can hear, whenever you kill something, even as measly as a fly or a mosquito.

I wish for artistic ability.

[Rakala]

Granted. You artistically get fat and make yourself into a piece by sitting on the couch for the rest of eternity.

I wish for a working bathroom.

[Lysander]

Granted, but your bowels shut down making the bathroom useless. 

I wish for the struggle to survive.   

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

You fail that struggle.

I wish my Rps would actually progress.

[Mao]

Your Rps progress into increasingly boring games that eventually cause all of your players to leave causing you to contemplate your lonely existence, eventually leaving you a broken shell of a person.


I wish this defect I was working on made sense.

[Lysander]

Granted, but it is never able to be repaired.   

I wish to be a distribution center.   

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted. You get distributed across the world. Painfully.


I wish I had a solution for some of my problems.

[Rakala]

Granted, you get the solutions for your smallest problems only.

I wish I could be a pioneer of something.

[Cogidubnus]

Granted. You're a pioneer of the open Martian plain. I hope you brought something better than a covered wagon.

I wish I was deaf, so I couldn't hear the phone ring anymore.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted. Instead- wait a second, the phone just rang.

Now, where was I? Oh, yes. Instead of which- ... sorry, phone again.

Instead of ... sorry, phone again.

Look, you're just going to have to deal with this yourself. I'm busy answering the phone



I wish I had something useful to do that wasn't likely to take months to implement.

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

You have useful things to do, but never the time or energy to actually do any of them.


I wish I could calm down. *paces around in agitation*

[Dagardo]

Granted, you get calmed down by gewtting knocked over the head with on the many phones llearch is answering, and are now in a coma.

I wish I had a tail.

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

You can't keep your balance with the tail, falling over and looking stupid everywhere you go.

I wish I wasn't so (insert expletive of choice) agitated

[Dagardo]

You are now so (insert expletive of choice) happy that someone see fit to throw you into the ocean with you tied to and weighed down by a car. And I learn to keep my balance with the tail.

I wish I had animalistic ears to compliment said tail.

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

You are shot by a hunter.


I wish I was a few inches taller.

[Slowtini]

Granted.
You are now a few inches taller than an inchworm.
Lucky you.

I wish I could fly.