[Art/Writing] Jairus: Merry Christmas

[Jairus]

WARNING: MINOR WALL OF TEXT APPROACHING!

Well, this is similar to yesterday's post, except instead of hyper-magitech powered armors, we're getting powered armors that are a hybridization of magitech and clockpunk. I can hear techmaster-glitch from here. Anyway, these are from the "Covenant Wars" setting. First, I'm going to quote myself from the Imperial Corps post I made six or so pages back, and then we can get started:

Armor
   A new unit, Armors were first introduced during the last period of Imperial Expansion. They are the most heavily armored of all forces, and wear a magitek powered armor into battle that drastically amplifies their strength and carrying capacity while not impeding their speed too greatly. They are either armed with massive swords that are almost impossible to be wielded normally, or high-recoil weaponry that cannot ordinarily be wielded. They also sometimes use grenade launchers or other weaponry. They have been continuously perfected over the years since their first usage, and Doctor Rafe is currently preparing to introduce a new lineup.

Ritter-series Mobile Armor
A secret project of IRDI (I'm probably going to change the name at some point), the Mobile Armor project was an effort to empower suits of armor with mechanical strength and mobility enhancers, allowing for the mobilization of heavier armor and weapons on the battlefield. Though the project underwent many pitfalls and failed prototypes, the first successful unit - the MA-Rx07b - entered battle for the first time during the Siege of Korinso, where they were a key point in bringing down the magical paling and allowing the city to finally be conquered. Following this incredible first display, Doctor Rafe of IRDI began to work on an improved version of the Ritter for future conflicts. The current Ritter in use is the Ritter C, though the Ritter II is about to be deployed to several bases and installations.

R
General and Technical Data
Model number: MA-Rx01
Code name: R
Unit type: prototype mobile armor
Manufacturer: Imperial Research and Development Institute
Operator: Imperial Armor corps
Rollout: unknown
First deployment: none
Accommodation: wearer only
Dimensions: approximately 6.5-7 feet
Weight: 347 pounds
Armor materials: steel
Powerplant: sorcerer's stone core module, chest mounted, power output unknown
Propulsion: None; optional rocket booster mounted on back
Performance: unknown
Equipment and design features: feedback control system; enhanced strength up to four times that of wearer's normal strength; 4 x hardpoint for extra optional equipment
Fixed armaments: None
Optional fixed armaments: 1 x autorifle, ammunition pack mounted on back, gun handheld in use; 1 x heavy sword, backpack mounted, handheld in use
Optional hand armaments: None
Technical and Historical Notes
The first mobile armor developed by IRDI, R suffered from several design flaws and problems. The unit was not environmentally sealed, leaving the pilot partially exposed to the elements. Movement was difficult in the unit, and wearers had to essentially learn how to walk all over again in order to master it. Balance was also a problem, and units had a tendency of tipping over if pilots weren't careful. The sorcerer's stone power core was also unreliable because of the finicky charge levels of sorcerer's stones, so until synthetic stones were used in conjunction with the units there was no real way of telling when it would run out of power. Its joints were also crucial weak points because they bore the unit's weight on them, and if damaged could crippled the unit. Despite the weapons that could be mounted on the unit, it was never meant for combat: in fact, usage of the weapons is part of the reason why the unit kept falling over. Units MA-Rx02 through MA-Rx06 suffered from similar problems, and it was only with the addition of Doctor Rafe's compact clockwork computer engine that the balance problems were finally solved, allowing for the creation of the MA-Rx07 Ritter.


Ritter
General and Technical Data
Model number: MA-Rx07b
Code name: Ritter
Unit type: mass-production mobile armor
Manufacturer: Imperial Research and Development Institute
Operator: Imperial Armor corps
Rollout: unknown
First deployment: Siege of Korinso
Accommodation: Wearer only
Dimensions: approximately 7 feet
Weight: approximately 457 pounds
Armor materials: Magic-enhanced steel
Powerplant: sorcerer's stone power core, mounted in chest, power output unknown
Propulsion: 2 x liquid fuel rocket thruster, leg mounted
Performance: unknown
Equipment and design features: feedback control system; pneumatically-enhanced strength up to six times that of wearer's normal strength; micro-differential engine; 6 x hardpoint for extra optional equipment
Fixed armaments: 2 x semi-automatic pistol, mounted in forearms; 2 x bayonet, mounted in forearms; 1 x flamethrower, mounted in right forearm; 1 x semi-automatic shotgun, mounted in left forearm
Optional fixed armaments: 1 x autorifle, ammunition pack mounted on back, gun handheld in use; 1 x heavy sword, backpack mounted, handheld in use
Optional hand armaments: 1 x 5-round grenade launcher, stored on back, handheld in use, 1 x autogun, handheld in use
Technical and Historical Notes
The first mass-production combat-worthy mobile armor, Ritter improved on its predecessors in every way. Improved armor, built-in rocket boosters, improved power core, micro-differential engine to handle the balancing and control issues, and a wide array of weapons made it a dangerous weapon on the battlefield. Though there was still a learning curve in how to use them (no leaping into one and you're immediately a master) it was easier to learn how to use. The built-in weapons meant that it could deploy without equipping a normal load-out and was still a force to be dealt with. It's armor was thick enough to handle most normal firearms and weapons. A handful of custom units were designed for use by sorcerers, allowing them greater mobility and freedom to perform magic, making the units even more deadly. There were a handful of problems, however. Though the joints had been reinforced, they were still crucial to the unit's mobility, and damage to them could still be fatal in a fight. The unit's visibility was limited, as was their ability to hear: wearers were often dependent on radio contact to work with their fellow soldiers. The rocket boosters were difficult to control, and most wearers tended to ignore them: since the units were fairly slow compared to normal people, this meant that Ritter's were also somewhat slower. Though the power core was fairly well protected, it was vulnerable to a directed attack, which would "kill" the unit and leave the wearer imprisoned in 450 pounds of steel. Despite these problems, the unit was a smashing success, and could be found in several key installations and bases as guard units, in addition to normal combat.


Ritter II
General and Technical Data
Model number: MA-Rx08a
Code name: Ritter II
Unit type: mass-production mobile armor
Manufacturer: Imperial Research and Development Institute
Operator: Imperial Armor corps
Rollout: unknown
First deployment: unknown
Accommodation: Wearer only
Dimensions: approximately 7 feet
Weight: approximately 446 pounds
Armor materials: Magic-enhanced steel
Powerplant: sorcerer's stone power core, mounted in chest, power output unknown
Propulsion: 2 x liquid fuel rocket booster, leg mounted
Performance: unknown
Equipment and design features: feedback control system; pneumatically-enhanced strength up to six times that of wearer's normal strength; micro-differential engine; 7 x hardpoint for extra optional equipment
Fixed armaments: 2 x semi-automatic pistol, mounted in forearms; 2 x semi-automatic shotgun, mounted in forearms; 2 x bayonet, mounted in forearms; 1 x flamethrower, mounted in right forearm; 1 x autogun, mounted in left forearm
Optional fixed armaments: 1 x autorifle, ammunition pack mounted on back, gun handheld in use; 1 x heavy sword, backpack mounted, handheld in use; 1 x Gatler-series rotary auto cannon, ammunition pack mounted on back, gun handheld in use; 1 x semi-automatic six-shot cannon, backpack mounted; 1 x 4-round rocket launcher, backpack mounted; 2 x 4-round grenade rack, mounted on hips, handheld in use, variable load-out
Optional hand armaments: 1 x 5-round grenade launcher, stored on back, handheld in use, 1 x autogun, handheld in use; 1 x 2-barreled autogun, handheld in use
Technical and Historical Notes
The newest version of the Ritter, Ritter II continues the improvements. Almost all systems have been overhauled, and a number of the weaknesses have been dealt with or improved. What weapons were already built into it have been shifted around to give it an even greater load-out, with dramatically improved destructive capabilities. Visibility was improved through a modification to the helmet, though this slightly weakened the helmet's defenses. Joints were still a minor problem, but improved armor lessened it. Since most soldiers never used the thrusters, they were slightly toned down for this unit and are more used as jump boosters. The weight of the unit was also slightly lessened, though it was only a few pounds. The power core itself has improved defenses, making it harder to take out. The unit's speed was also improved, though it was still slower than the average soldier. Customizations continued, with not only custom jobs for sorcerers but also for commanders and distinguished soldiers. Author's Note: The Zander II is fairly new at the start of of the story of the Covenant Wars, and has only been out for a few months: it hasn't really seen much action yet, but our heroes bump into it a few times.


...

Okay, two different series of powered armor. Ritter's - despite being mass-production - are not very widespread. They are expensive, and require dedicated maintenance facilities to repair them. You do not see whole armies of Ritter units charging into battle, you see a handful of them kicking ass. Also, though I'm still kind of designing them, the Iron Man Mark I from the movie is fairly close to what I think that these guys look like... except magitech and clockpunk.

Incidentally, if you're curious as to the similarity of weapons and designs between Ritter and Roland and Nick and Rafe... I've always jokingly considered Doctor Rafe to be an evil human version of Nick in a world where technology isn't quite up to the point that it works for him. Doctor Rafe does built a portable death ray at some point, and he has his own custom Ritter II. Then again, Doctor Rafe is also loosely based on me... heeheheheheh.

A lot of things from the Sentinel setting were adapted to the Covenant Wars setting when I started mapping this out in my head, and the Zander units were somewhat transformed into Ritters.

Okay. Questions, comments, advice, concerns, clarifications, ideas, anything at all?

[techmaster-glitch]

I can hear techmaster-glitch from here.

Aww, is my undying profound love of technology really that noticeable?

The only beef I got with this stuff is it doesn't really explain where the clockwork parts come into play. Other than that, great as ever

[Ren Gaulen]

Nice. I expected there to be a larger wall of text, so I could use this image. Here, I used it anyway..
So, two rival scientists and two competing types of powered armour. Nice.

[Jairus]

I can hear techmaster-glitch from here.

Aww, is my undying profound love of technology really that noticeable?

Just a hunch.

The only beef I got with this stuff is it doesn't really explain where the clockwork parts come into play. Other than that, great as ever

Ah, sorry. Most of the mechanics are clockpunk or steampunk styled, and a difference engine is basically a clockwork analog computer, like the Antikythera mechanism or Babbet's engine.

Nice. I expected there to be a larger wall of text, so I could use this image. Here, I used it anyway..
So, two rival scientists and two competing types of powered armour. Nice.

... on completely different worlds, in completely different universes, separated by approximately five thousand years of relative time. Rafe has been dead for five millennium by the time Nick is born, and I doubt Nick will ever learn about his peer. Besides which, even the Mark I Roland is superior to the Ritter II, though Nick did have superior tech to work with. Nick had surpassed Rafe by the time he was sixteen. Rafe's stuff is also more like a mobile weapon, while Nick's is designed to make up for his physical weaknesses, and allow him to fight Creatures on an even footing... partially by forcing them down to something closer to his level. Rockon is the military version of Roland, and will be superior in combat skills, despite losing a handful of the more powerful systems on Roland. In short, Nick will never learn of Rafe.


Two men, so alike
But separated by much
More than they can know.

[Cogidubnus]

The armor specifications have been definitely interesting to read. I have to say, the prior Roland series seems somewhat stronger than the Ritter series, but it might be that you're emphasizing the weaknesses more in the technical specifications for the Ritter series more. The Roland Series also doesn't specify how big or large it is, so I could be getting the scale completely wrong as well. The Roland could be significantly larger. Especially considering the 'special attacks' that the Mark VIII has in store. ;3

Also, I am continually surprised by your Haiku being technically correct. Your topics, however, being diverse and often not poetic at all, are almost Zen - though writing from off-the-wall, you strike closer to the spirit of Haiku than one might initially suspect.

[Jairus]

The armor specifications have been definitely interesting to read. I have to say, the prior Roland series seems somewhat stronger than the Ritter series, but it might be that you're emphasizing the weaknesses more in the technical specifications for the Ritter series more. The Roland Series also doesn't specify how big or large it is, so I could be getting the scale completely wrong as well. The Roland could be significantly larger. Especially considering the 'special attacks' that the Mark VIII has in store. ;3

Nick is 3'9" tall. Does that help with the scale for Roland?

And Roland is far far far more powerful than Ritter, but there's also a minor theme in how their specifications are written: Nick looks at the positives and what works and then figures out how to make what doesn't work work, while Rafe sees what doesn't work and then fixes those problems. I sort of wrote the specs from their perspectives, as if they were telling you about their machines. Nick is slightly optimistic, while Rafe is slightly pessimistic. Of course, the Ritter II is only roughly as powerful as the Roland Mark I, so there is that whole thing...

Also, the tech available to Nick is far superior to pretty much everything on Belenus: he can fit more computational power than on all of Belenus into a single powered armor. He can make machines far smaller and more accurately than Rafe and IRDI, and he has a laboratory where every piece of technology is at least five if not ten times superior to the ones on Belenus, with the exception of scale. There is little doubt in my mind, however, that if the technology fields were even, the two of them would come up with some fairly similar stuff.

Also, I am continually surprised by your Haiku being technically correct. Your topics, however, being diverse and often not poetic at all, are almost Zen - though writing from off-the-wall, you strike closer to the spirit of Haiku than one might initially suspect.

Hm... that's kind of interesting to think about. I only learned the "5-7-5" pattern of Haiku, and never really learned the others "rules" of it, so that might explain it.

My subjects vary
From haiku to haiku, but
That is how I write.


I'm still trying to figure out the next parody.

[Tapewolf]

Ah, sorry. Most of the mechanics are clockpunk or steampunk styled, and a difference engine is basically a clockwork analog computer, like the Antikythera mechanism or Babbet's engine.

'The Difference Engine' by William Gibson and Bruce Sterling
'Perdido Street Station' by China Mieville

Have you read either of those?  If not, I suggest you look out for them.

[Jairus]

Ah, sorry. Most of the mechanics are clockpunk or steampunk styled, and a difference engine is basically a clockwork analog computer, like the Antikythera mechanism or Babbet's engine.

'The Difference Engine' by William Gibson and Bruce Sterling
'Perdido Street Station' by China Mieville

Have you read either of those?  If not, I suggest you look out for them.

Heard of the first, not the second. Will look into them when I have the time. Meanwhile...

It's that time again!

"To floss?"
...
Right.

Anyway, this song just fits Fa'Lina like one of her gloves. It's an adaptation of "Prince Ali" from Disney's Aladdin, as sung by Abel (as the genie), the Warp-Aci (as the chorus), Warp-Aci's Fu and Nutmeg as the commentators, and some random SAIA students as the Harem Girls.
...
...What?

The scene is Fa'Lina walking down SAIA's hall for some reason...

"Fa'Lina"

Warp-Aci
Make way, for Fa'Lina!
Say hey!
It's Fa'Lina!

Abel
Hey! Clear the way through the old school hall!
Hey you!
Let us through!
Here's a grand old star!
Oh come!
Be the first in your class to meet her eye!

Make way!
Here she comes!
Ring bells! Band the drums!
Are you gonna love her girls!

Fa'Lina! Wonder and awe!
Misstress Fa'Lina!
Genuflect, show some respect,
Down 'til you kneel!
Now, try your best to not freak!
Prepare to see her physique!
Then come and meet her spectatular coterie!

Fa'Lina!
Wonder and awe!
Mistress Fa'Lina!
Strong as ten normal cubi, definitely!
She faced down the warring clans,
Built this school up with her hands!
Who shattered and broke up their plans?
Why, Fa'Lina!

Warp-Aci
She's got seventy-five matching dresses.

Nutmeg
Don't they look lovely Fu?

War-Aci
Purple boas
She's got fifty-three

Fu
Fabulous Nutmeg, I love the feathers.

Abel
When it comes to exotic-type powers,
Did she write the book?
I'm telling you
It's a world-class magical tome!

Fa'Lina! Beauty is she, Mistress Fa'Lina!
Student Cubi
There's no question this 'Lina's alluring
Abel
That wingspan! Speak how I can,
Student Cubi
Never ordinary, never boring
Abel
I ne'er can encompass!
Student Cubi
Everything about the girl just plain impresses
Abel
Well, get on out in those halls!
Student Cubi
She's a winner, she's a tease, a wonder!
Abel
Adjust your wings, hit the walls,
Student Cubi
She's about to pull my heart asunder!
Abel
To gawk and grovel and stare at Fa'Lina!
Student Cubi
And I absolutely love the way he dresses!

Warp-Aci
She's got girls the size of watermelons!
(She's got the melons, let's see the melons!)
And to view them she charges no fee!
(She's generous, so generous!)
She's got wings, she's got limbs! She's got 'Aci!
(Proud to work for her)
We bow to her whim, love serving her,
We're just lousy with loyalty to 'Lina! Fa'Lina!

Abel
Fa'Lina!

Warp-Aci
Passionate she! Mistress Fa'Lina!

Abel
Heard your classes were a sight lovely to see
And that, good people, is why he got dolled up and dropped by

Warp-Aci
With sixty tent'cles, gumdrops galore,
With expansive dancing,
A brass band and more!
With her ten Warp-Aci, her fav'rite student!
Her heads that warble on key!
Make way...

Abel
For Fa'Lina!

Yes. I devoted a verse to her... "wingspan." She would too. *blows a kiss* Goodnight, everybody!

Any ideas for the next one?

[techmaster-glitch]

Wow. I just saw Aladdin a few days ago, no less.

That was impressive. Very well done.

[Ren Gaulen]

It's that time again!

Good Heavens, just look at the time! ..It had to be done.. *hides*

Another nice one, Jay. Keep 'em coming!

[Jairus]

It's that time again!

Good Heavens, just look at the time! ..It had to be done.. *hides*

Good thing I wasn't drinking anything, or I'd have soda shooting out my nose.

Another nice one, Jay. Keep 'em coming!

I'm actually thinking of doing a "buddy song" next, between Dan and Jyrras. I think they deserve a song talking about how they've affected each other and how much they mean to each other as friends.

[Jairus]

This is old. Really old. Like I wrote this almost five-six years ago when I was a Sophomore in High School. However, this is also the oldest seed of an idea that would eventually become "Sentinel Avatar," which you've gotten a snippet of in "Zander vs. Sentinel." This is exactly as I wrote it, all the names unchanged. You can also see how much of a Gundam ripoff this is... pray that I never post "Countdown to Destiny," that one's even more of a Gundam ripoff. Of course, this and that one were written long ago, back during my "Gary Stu" self-insert fanfiction days. And I feel humiliated now that I think about that stuff. But I'm past all of those... even though I have freely confessed that mad-scientist Doctor Rafe is based on me. But he bites it towards the end, so it all works out. Anyway, enjoy -um, do something besides enjoy- this early example of my writing crap.

Zero Assault

      "You okay down there?"
   The question had been posed by one who would be watching the action from both one hundred thousand kilometers in Earth orbit and right in the middle of the battle itself. The speaker continued. "Zero is untested in a real combat situation, and we don't know how it'll handle."
      "I'm fine." The answer came from the pilot in Zero's cockpit. "Gyroscopic balance is stable, locomotion subroutines are active, controls are functioning perfectly, the drive is good, and all systems are in the green."
      "Confirmed," the mission commander, one General Evar, responded. She turned to the auditorium of officers, politicians and scientists behind her. "Ladies and gentlemen, as you are aware, you are about to see the first test of the EUS-X9000 prototype, code named Sentry Zero. We shall be watching the battle through a combination of orbital satellites, remote sensors, and Zero itself. And I assure you, this is not a simulation: the pilot is actually facing off against a battalion of ARCOZian Tsander units, as well as the normal base defense tanks and a variety of combat aircraft. With any hope, the decimation of the SD base shall send a clear message to ARCOZ." The murmurs of assent, and a signal from her side, told her that now was the time.
   She turned back to her console, and sat down. There was nothing she could do: this battle was firmly in the hands of Zero's pilot. The chief scientist of the Zero project fretted. Evar turned to her. "Don't worry, the prototype is fine."
      "I'm just worried that the pilot won't be."
      "Too late now." She donned her headset, and looked out across a battlefield in Southern California through the VR goggles. She now saw the battlefield through the twenty meter height of Zero's primary binocular sensors. "Pilot, we're ready at this end."
      "Copy that. You sure you're okay with the immersion screen in the auditorium? Someone might get sick."
      "We're giving both sides an accurate image of Zero's capabilities. Destroy them with everything you've got."
   Nothing returned. Evar removed her goggles, and turned just in time for the chief scientist to place her own headset around her eyes. Evar sat back, and waited for the fireworks.
   The view on the massive wraparound screen in front of the audience began to move, the base shifting ever close to the apparently running unit. There was no way in hell those poor bastards would know what hit them, Evar thought to herself.
   Zero fired the first shot. A stream of compact quasi-plasma flew across the battlefield, and burned straight through the gate. Automated defense turrets activated, firing their massive three hundred centimeter rounds towards the nigh-invisible target. Of course, it was hard for a combat unit painted brilliant white with a red on blue trim to be missed. Rather, the cannons couldn't find the unit on any infrared sensors, ultraviolet range, or even radar. The most accurate sensor it had was designed for sonar, and that system could only track objects on the ground. But the cannons couldn't track fast enough to keep up with a combat unit running at a good hundred fifty klicks an hour.
   Zero returned the favor with another burst from its rifle, which instantly destroyed the nearest turret. Now, missile launchers and lasers revealed themselves. But they couldn't track the prototype either. Their shots were blind.
   And now a single squadron of the olive-green Tsanders had deployed. To demonstrate the amazing abilities of the new prototype, the pilot commanded Zero to pull out its sword. A streaming blade of flame-red plasma flared into existence. Shoulder shields and axes were incapable of stopping the sword. The entire squad was gone inside of a minute. But now the element of surprise was gone.
   The entire base had deployed, tanks and fighters and Tsanders alike. The pilot of Zero smiled. He activated the head-mounted miniguns, and swiftly tore a hole through the fighter formations. He stepped on the tanks, and fired Vulcan cannon rounds at the more distant targets. The rifle he used against the Tsanders, his shield-mounted spike dispatching a few units who got too close. Every one of the attacks ricocheted off of the most advanced armor that the Earth Federation had ever made. Only the brilliant paint was damaged: not a crack or a scratch appeared on the armor. Not even a series of direct missile strikes damaged it. Ten minutes of combat later, and Zero stood alone on the battlefield, the bodies of enemy Tsanders arrayed around him. His most brilliant work had been to destroy the launch shafts out of the fortified base, leaving all of the personnel trapped inside. A barrage from his forearm mounted RPGs later, and the base was in flames. For his final touch, he used his rifle to destroy the communications equipment. Before, he had wanted them to know what he could do. Now ARCOZ would have to come to the base to see his final work.
      "Are you all right?" Evar asked the pilot.
      "Everything's good. I am returning to the carrier now."
      "Good." She turned off her head set, and turned to the awed audience. "I give you Zero."
   She had heard someone become violently sick during the rapid movements of the lens viewpoint. They still retched in the background
   The President and commander-in-chief of the United States of America stood up. "I must admit, General, I had my doubts towards the Weapon Maximum Project, but you've dispelled all of them." He looked around at his cabinet, his generals, and the other representatives of the USA. "General, if that was Zero, I can't wait to see prototypes One through Five can do."
      "Thank you, sir."


...
Okay, there we go. One of my earlier bits of writing. Still trying to find a good "buddy song." And if someone wants, I can post my Gundam SEED-ripoff prologue thingy. Anyway.

EDIT:
I feel like haiku.
I write haiku too much, though.
Maybe I should stop.

This early work is
So embarrassing. Still, we
All started somewhere.

A deer walks through the
Forest. A branch snaps. I aim.
I shoot it. It dies.

A man walks into
My sights. He is already
Dead. He does not know.

Sometimes Nick scares me.
I am half-convinced that he
Is somewhat evil.

... I had one more here, but I deleted it. Not only was it NSFW, it was mind-scarring. If you want it, just ask.

EDIT 2: My attempts to draw powered armor have led me to decide to stick to sketching environments and weapons and occasionally giant robots. Just... ewwww. I am going to burn these sketches. Or do something more environmentally friendly. Anything to avoid the eye-gouging horror from being released.

[Jairus]

I felt like writing this. Incidentally, Sir Aaren mor Dukai's nickname is "Ren," and I already got permission from Ren Gaulen to use it. This is just a snip of something larger, and I envision this as a part of the prologue to The Covenant Wars, showing us a handful of the characters four years before the story properly starts. Anyhoo...

And if you don't like it Ren, I am open to suggestions. No, really, I am.

The Fall of Korinso

Lon Salem, capital of the Kingdom of Korinso, in the year eight-hundred and sixty three of the After Covenant era

...

      "Doctor Rafe?"
   The man in the long coat turned to the captain. "Yes?"
      "We are in position to launch."
      "Excellent. Proceed, Captain."
   The captain threw a sharp salute. "Sir!"  He turned back to the rest of the bridge and overlooked the battlefield. The Korinson forces were actually holding up fairly well... for the moment. "Give the order. Launch the Mobile Armor corps!"
   Down, somewhere in one of the launch bays, ten missiles, long and fat, sat aimed downwards. They were far heavier than any round fired by the ship, and designed with only one function: piercing the magical paling.
   At the signal from the bridge, clamps holding them in place released, and the missiles dropped like long pointy stones, shielded by layes upon layers of barriers and shields: more than could safely be used, in fact, but absolutely necessary to get into Lon Salem. For a brief moment, the paling cracked...
   ... and the missiles slipped through, their own barriers collapsing as they did so.
   A short distance beneath the paling's barrier, bolts and latches across the missiles burst loose, causing the entire casing to disintegrate in midair and rain down upon the city below. At the heart of the missiles was a long central tube, to which were strapped three man-shaped machines, each carrying a large rifle and a larger sword. A final set of bolts undid, and they dropped free of the falling cores. A second later, each of the thirty falling armors activated a set of rockets built into their legs, and gradually slowed their descent into the battle field...

...

   Sir Aaren was not far from his Highness now... just a little closer and...
   ... a human-shaped machine landed heavily right in front of him, cracking the pavement beneath it as Ren backstepped away from it. A statue? A golem? What is it? For a moment, it did nothing, and then it began to move, clicking and whirring sounds emitting from its body as it turned its head to look at him.
   A moving armor? What new machine is this? The armor's wild swing brought him back to the battle. It was an enemy, and he would defeat it.
   It seemed to have no weapons besides its fists and its sword and the gun on its back, the sword being what it currently chose and was slashing at him with. It was certainly a big sword, but he knew a way around that. Ren pulled his sidearm from its holster and took aim at the base of the sword, aiming for the hands. It took him emptying the six round gun, but he finally managed to convince the armor to drop the heavy blade with a massive clang. A grin briefly flirted across Aaren's face...
   ... until the armor's right arm lobbed a fireball at him.
      "Shit!"
   It wasn't magical fire: he could tell that in an instant. It felt different, made of real stuff instead of magical ingredients. Which just made it a little more difficult to do what he was about to do. He waved his free left hand in front of him and recited a spell in his head, and felt the air around him respond... and move away from a short space in front of him: the fireball hit a wall of vacuum that killed it. With his sword, he shaped the air displaced from the vacuum into a compressed "bullet" of air and fired it straight at the armor. It did nothing aside from a small dent, to which the armor responded by lifting it's other arm and firing a shotgun blast at him. This time Ren had to cast a shield spell and reconsider his options.
   The armor took the moment he had given it and turned on a group of Korinson soldiers rushing towards it. Now both forearms came up, and began firing normal bullets at them, faster than any normal sidearm could manage. Their light armor wasn't enough to protect them, and they fell down dead.
   The armor turned back towards Ren, only to find him a lot closer than before, his katana held at ready. The forearms flexed slightly, and a pair of bayonets popped out to clash with Ren's katana. It was one of the most interesting duels Ren could recall: his speed and maneuverability versus an armor with no apparent weak spots. But the armor wasn't as skilled as Ren: it moved like an inexperienced swordsman, unsure of itself. Its swings were too wide, relying on power rather than finesse. Ren had both, and spied a weakspot. Another swing, and this time Ren responded with a blast of force magic right into the relatively unarmored armpit. Armor cracked and shattered beneath the blast, enough for Ren to bring Izumo up and through the new crack in the armor.
   The suit stumbled slightly as Ren drew the blade from its body. A moment's concentration, and magical energy flew through the blade, sharpening its edge until it was sharp enough to cut through a stone wall. "Zantatsuken!"
   The blade came up in a slash through the chest armor.
   The whole thing fell forward with a massive clang that shook parts of it off, including the head, revealing that the head was in fact a helmet...
   It was at this point that Ren realised that his sword was bloody.
   Most people would have been shocked or stunned at the sight of the young blonde woman lying dead in her own armor. Ren was not most people.
   There were more, he could hear them. So, how to fight them?
      "Aim for the armor's eyes! They're controlled by humans!" he shouted out, relying on his people to pass it along.
   From a block over, he heard a new sound, a terrible one: the sound of a fully automatic weapon, firing faster than any other gun, and the sound of soldiers and saurians alike screaming as they died. Ren looked down at the fallen armor beside him, and looked at the massive rifle that had also been sliced by his attack, and the massive belt of ammo that once led to a drum on the backpack.
   Automatic weapons, small enough to be wielded by one of these units? Impressive, Imperials. Cold analysis in the face of death was part of the reason Ren was still alive. But there were other units, and they were killing his allies. He summoned the wind beneath him, and took a flying leap to a nearby building, intent on finding both his Prince and the nearest mobile armor.

...[/center]

Okay, what do you think? Questions, comments, concerns, ideas, WTFs, anything?

PS: My powered armor sketches are a HERESY against all that has ever come before, so I'm going to try drawing them again when I'm back at my apartment and I might post those: my ability to draw seems to be weakened in closer proximity to my family. Also, I'm thinking about starting to ink in the map of Clockwork Town: any more suggestions for that?

A sword with edge far
Sharper than the wind. How does
It not cut its sheathe?

[Ren Gaulen]

Nice, nice.. I am not ashamed by my namesake in the least. One thing though. I think it's not "Zantetsuken" but "Zantatsuken". As far as I know it means something like "Instantly Cleaving Blade" with "tatsu" being the "Cleave" part.

[Jairus]

Nice, nice.. I am not ashamed by my namesake in the least. One thing though. I think it's not "Zantetsuken" but "Zantatsuken". As far as I know it means something like "Instantly Cleaving Blade" with "tatsu" being the "Cleave" part.

Hm... well, originally the technique was a reference to the Zantetsuken of Final Fantasy, which is "also known as the "Steel Bladed Sword", which is the translation of Zantetsuken." But "Zantatsuken" makes it sound much better... and more in character for you. I'll change it.

Any recommendations so I can get his characterization down pat?

[Tapewolf]

Any recommendations so I can get his characterization down pat?

Obviously Ren is the boss in this department, but I feel I must point out that the line:

Most people would have been shocked or stunned at the sight of the young
blonde woman lying dead in her own armor. Ren was not most people.

...does not help me convince myself that Ren is on the side of the angels.   

[Ren Gaulen]

Any recommendations so I can get his characterization down pat?

Obviously Ren is the boss in this department, but I feel I must point out that the line:

Most people would have been shocked or stunned at the sight of the young
blonde woman lying dead in her own armor. Ren was not most people.

...does not help me convince myself that Ren is on the side of the angels.   

AAAAAAAAAGH!!! Jay meant Aaren, not me!!

I think you made Aaren a bit too "dark". That line Tape pointed out make Aaren look less of a good guy.

[Tapewolf]

AAAAAAAAAGH!!! Jay meant Aaren, not me!!

You know, that would explain an awful lot.

I think you made Aaren a bit too "dark". That line Tape pointed out make Aaren look less of a good guy.

Actually I'm starting to think that deep down, I want Ren to be evil...

[Jairus]

Well, he is a soldier in an army, and he is fighting enemy soldiers, and she is was his enemy. It's not like she was a civilian he accidentally cleaved. They both got involved in a war, and both of them knew what could happen.

Well, I could change it to something more neutral, or what would you suggest?

[Ren Gaulen]

Well, he is a soldier in an army, and he is fighting enemy soldiers, and she is was his enemy. It's not like she was a civilian he accidentally cleaved. They both got involved in a war, and both of them knew what could happen.

Well, I could change it to something more neutral, or what would you suggest?

Nah. It's just that regular soldiers are still humans, and if they thought that they were fighting some automaton but then found out that there was a human inside (a young woman, to boot), they would have been reasonably shocked. Aaren looks like a war-hardened veteran who is not fazed a bit by the sight of dead bodies, whomever they could have belonged to, but that is what gives him a darker, anti-hero'ish look. Actually, that is not a bad thing for a character like Aaren (I say it since I know his backstory).

I think you made Aaren a bit too "dark". That line Tape pointed out make Aaren look less of a good guy.

Actually I'm starting to think that deep down, I want Ren to be evil...

WHY DO YOU DO IT, TAPE??? REN IS ONLY A GUY WHO SMITES EVIL (BY SLAYING THE DOERS OF EVIL DEEDS)!! HE MEANS NO WRONG!! (Don't mind me - I'm just throwing a little fit here. )

[Tapewolf]

WHY DO YOU DO IT, TAPE??? REN IS ONLY A GUY WHO SMITES EVIL (BY SLAYING THE DOERS OF EVIL DEEDS)!! HE MEANS NO WRONG!! (Don't mind me - I'm just throwing a little fit here. )

In all seriousness, there are two reasons that spring to mind.  To begin with, the first picture I ever saw of Ren had him looking extremely depraved, and you know what they say... first impressions last.
The second reason is that Keaton is dead evil and she's been incredibly fun to write for.
And evil is kind of cool.
Three reasons.  Our three reasons are a picture of Ren looking extremely depraved, evil being fun to write for and cool.  And an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope. 

[Ren Gaulen]

In all seriousness, there are two reasons that spring to mind.  To begin with, the first picture I ever saw of Ren had him looking extremely depraved, and you know what they say... first impressions last.
The second reason is that Keaton is dead evil and she's been incredibly fun to write for.
And evil is kind of cool.
Three reasons.  Our three reasons are a picture of Ren looking extremely depraved, evil being fun to write for and cool.  And an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope. 

HERESY!! ..I think I have just proven Tape's last point.. But actually, Ren is trying very hard to be a really nice guy and not to kill anybody. Unfortunately, often if Ren doesn't kill his enemy, someone of Ren's allies does. Also, when Ren is really enraged, he tends to forget that he "promised (himself) not to kill". While it is not too easy to enrage him, it is not too hard to do either.

But I agree, Evil is kind of cool (as long as it is fictional evil ).

[Jairus]

DAMMIT! STOP POSTING WHEN I'M TRYING TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS!!!!

Heh... heh... heh...

Okay, I'm cool.

Well, he is a soldier in an army, and he is fighting enemy soldiers, and she is was his enemy. It's not like she was a civilian he accidentally cleaved. They both got involved in a war, and both of them knew what could happen.

Well, I could change it to something more neutral, or what would you suggest?

Nah. It's just that regular soldiers are still humans, and if they thought that they were fighting some automaton but then found out that there was a human inside (a young woman, to boot), they would have been reasonably shocked. Aaren looks like a war-hardened veteran who is not fazed a bit by the sight of dead bodies, whomever they could have belonged to, but that is what gives him a darker, anti-hero'ish look. Actually, that is not a bad thing for a character like Aaren (I say it since I know his backstory).

Good point. And remember that this is four years before the story proper starts: he's worse by the time we catch up to him, half-stir crazy from being a prisoner of war. On the other hand, he does mellow a bit by the time we catch up to him: maybe seeing soldiers from both sides alike starve or get beaten to death has mellowed him slightly. Also, considering his backstory, since he already let one homeland down, he doesn't want to let another one down as well. Finally, it's always been a pet-peeve of mine that villains don't care that their friends die, but heroes scream "No!" and rush to their sides: that's just a great way to get bumped off. Ren puts off his mourning until after the battle is over, when he can properly mourn the dead: after all, you can't mourn someone if you yourself are dead too. He's going to have one incredible breakdown once the war ends and he can no longer hold back the tide. I imagine that Dreksa does the same thing, except he's able to control his mourning even more and do it during happy times so the memories don't overwhelm him.

Actually, should I post his backstory, Ren? I think since you're the one I shared it with and the character is partially based on you, you should have a say.

I think you made Aaren a bit too "dark". That line Tape pointed out make Aaren look less of a good guy.

Actually I'm starting to think that deep down, I want Ren to be evil...

WHY DO YOU DO IT, TAPE??? REN IS ONLY A GUY WHO SMITES EVIL (BY SLAYING THE DOERS OF EVIL DEEDS)!! HE MEANS NO WRONG!! (Don't mind me - I'm just throwing a little fit here. )

In all seriousness, there are two reasons that spring to mind.  To begin with, the first picture I ever saw of Ren had him looking extremely depraved, and you know what they say... first impressions last.
The second reason is that Keaton is dead evil and she's been incredibly fun to write for.
And evil is kind of cool.
Three reasons.  Our three reasons are a picture of Ren looking extremely depraved, evil being fun to write for and cool.  And an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope. 

HERESY!! ..I think I have just proven Tape's last point.. But actually, Ren is trying very hard to be a really nice guy and not to kill anybody. Unfortunately, often if Ren doesn't kill his enemy, someone of Ren's allies does. Also, when Ren is really enraged, he tends to forget that he "promised (himself) not to kill". While it is not too easy to enrage him, it is not too hard to do either.

But I agree, Evil is kind of cool (as long as it is fictional evil ).

True... anti-heroes are fun to write. Villains too: why do you think my self-insert character is the mad scientist Doctor Rafe? And Dreksa is fun to write when he "forgets" that he's fighting other living beings: he gets really really terrifying. And then he's back to normal afterwords. Either he has long since gotten used to killing people and only can survive because he tries to minimize death and pain wherever he goes, or he is truly and deeply insane. Probably both: I know that two of his three siblings were completely and totally nuts, as well as his nephew and his mom. His other sibling was pretty crazy to, but then you'd expect that of someone who could pass as the great Kamina-sama's twin brother.


Nobody expects
The Spanish Inquisition.
What, do you want more?


Also: any comments on "Zero Assault?"

[Tapewolf]

Just to be absolutely clear, I'm not saying that what you've done is wrong, nor am I suggesting you change it.  It is just an observation.

[Jairus]

Just to be absolutely clear, I'm not saying that what you've done is wrong, nor am I suggesting you change it.  It is just an observation.

No worries. I like observations: they help me get better. Please, please keep making them! *said in the Peddler's voice from Disney's Aladdin*

As a bit of a treat, and because I'm tired, here are the specs for Rockon that I came up with while my parents took me birthday shopping for matching furniture for my apartment. Considering that I'm getting a new couch, a new far cooler desk, and a new bed frame, I'm not really complaining (even though all I wanted was Season 1 of New Series Doctor Who on DVD and the handful of Code Geass DVDs they've released so far). Slightly less cool is that I have to completely clean my apartment over the next three weeks so that we can have a "House-Fixing Party." Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only sane one in my family... and then I remember that I have fourteen pages of stuff here and I have yet to slow down. Anyway...


Rockon
General and Technical Data
Model number: RC-XND2
Code name: Rockon
Unit type: experimental mass-production combat powered armor
Manufacturer: N-Tech
Operator: unknown
Rollout: unknown
First deployment: unknown
Accommodation: Operator only
Dimensions: unknown, (currently sized for average human male)
Weight: unknown (suggestions?)
Armor materials: Titanium; super-ceramic composite; AMP Steel alloy; Sol-foam; Lun-metal
Powerplant: Mark 4 TF Reactor; 1 x high-efficiency micro battery network built into armor; Ward system
Propulsion: 1 x M-Drive Lift System, 1 main emitter on backpack, 4 vernier built into FL Shield System; 2 x maneuvering rockets, leg mounted; 8 x flight stabilizer, 2 backpack mounted, 2 leg mounted, 4 FL Shield mounted; 4 x maneuvering vernier, built into FL Shield System
Performance: unknown
Equipment and design features: Omni Feedback control system; fully-sealed internal environment; transmobile linkup system; 8 x hardpoint for mounting extra equipment; 4 x AM Particle reservoir, 2 built into shoulders, 2 built into legs; 1 x Multi-point defense barrier, online only during transformation; Ward system compatibility; 4 x FL Shield System, backpack mounted, deployed over shoulders in use; 2 x Omnidriver Mk.7, built into forearms
Fixed armaments: 2 x AMP beam saber lance/blaster/shield combo, mounted in forearms, usage depends on configuration; 4 x AMP Beam saber, 2 mounted in hip armor, 2 mounted in FL Shield, handheld in use; 2 x AMP Beam Pistol, stored in hip armor, handheld in use; 4 x AMP Grenade, mounted in FL Shield, handheld in use; 10 x "Rising Finger" claws, built into hands
Optional fixed armaments: 2 x AMP Folding Sword, mounted on hips, handheld in use; 2 x automatic carbine, backpack mounted, swing over shoulders in use; 2 x automatic shotgun, backpack mounted, swing under-arm in use; 1 x AMP Grenade Launcher, backpack mounted, swings over right shoulder in use; 1 x AMP Beam Cannon, backpack mounted; swings over left shoulder in use; various others
Optional hand armaments: 1 x AMP Beam Rifle, stored on backpack, handheld in use; 1 x AMP Beam Sniper Rifle, stored on backpack, handheld in use
Technical and Historical Notes
The finalized version of the mass-production version of Roland, the Rockon was designed from the ground up to take as many lessons as possible from the earlier prototypes. While a handful of systems - like the "Shining Finger" and the AMP Field Emitter - have been removed overall the unit is more balanced than Roland. In place of Roland's emphasis on enhancement and combat, Rockon is designed for outright warfare, and demonstrates this in its wide-array of weapons, some of which were never intended to be used on Roland. In terms of ranged combat, Rockon is superior to Roland, thanks in part to a handful of extra weapons and a powerful AMP Beam Sniper Rifle: the sensor systems have been slightly improved over Roland in order to maximize the effectiveness of this weapon, modifications that Nick intends to make use of in the Roland Mark VII. While it is somewhat lacking in the close-range weapons department thanks to the removal of the "Shining Finger," it features a potent weapon nonetheless: titled "Rising Fingers," they are claw-like extensions on the fingers that are each made of solid AMP Steel, making it very easy for them to "cut" through magical spells and abilities. In addition, it features two AMP Beam lance/blaster/shield combo weapons, double what Mark VI has (and Mark VII will have). Given Roland's maneuverability problems and the amount of flexibility and control needed, Nick developed a prototype for the M-Drive Wing system he calls the FL Shield, which is four maneuvering emitters for the normal M-Drive Flight which drastically improve maneuverability for the unit: the four emitters are built into four heavily reinforced AMP Steel shields, leading to the name. The four smaller emitters replace one of the two normal emitters, and have two configurations: Wing mode, when the shields are folded back allowing them to be focused in specific directions for increased maneuvering and speed at the cost of access to the weapons built into them; and Shield Mode, where they attach to the shoulders, allowing access to the extra weapons built in at the cost of maneuverability. In order to differentiate the Rockon series from the Roland series, Nick has given the prototype a blue-and-green paint job in place of his normal blue-and-silver one. Ironically, Nick is unable to test the unit, because he built it to fit a normal human wearer. Rockon can also equip the optional weapons used by Roland, albeit these do tend to interfere with the usage of the FL Shields. At this point, Nick has no test pilot, but once testing of the Rockon has finished, Nick intends to start a limited mass-production of them. Nick also has yet to come up with specifications or even ideas for the Rockon II.


...
There you have it... damn, I couldn't keep that shorter, could I? Oh well. Rockon is intended to subvert the normal "super-prototype" cliché, in that it is arguably a superior combat unit, and is meant to be used by as many different people as possible rather than one specific person, it has a better array of weapons, and a handful of its tricks are going to be added to the normal Roland prototype. And the mass-production version of the Rockon prototype will just remove the "x" from it's designation. Hooray for subversion!


Also... here's the surprise: another parody! Though it's a half assed one... and I mean really half-assed. As in I did bupkis to change this... just who was singing it...

"Abel's Not Wearing Underwear Today"

Abel:
I'm not wearing underwear today,
No I'm not wearing underwear today
Not that you probably care
Much about my underwear
Still nonetheless I gotta say
That I'm not wearing underwear today!

Jyrras:
Get a job!

Abel:
Thank you... honey.

Well, another one I'm going to Hell for. Here, let me try to make it up to you...

"Dan's Theme Song"

Jyrras:
Danny boy, makes you feel,
He's a cool warrior with a sword of steel!

Lost Lake Inn Patrons:
As Daniel Ti'Fiona here!
He's fighting so Dark Peg' there won't persevere!

Jyrras:
A sweet-ass hero!

Lost Lake Inn Patrons:
He's Danny boy!

Abel:
Never a zero!

All:
Dan Ti'Fion'!

... yeah, that one was a little lot forced. Sorry.


These songs aren't very
Funny, and now they are hard
To write. Should I stop?


EDIT: Fixed Rockon's stats to match the new ones for Roland.

[Ren Gaulen]

*strikes a pose* ROCK ON! *epic guitar solo*

By the way, I wanted to ask it before, but how do all those weapon systems fit on one suit of armour?

As for the song parodies... *long stare* Not that you should stop, but these two were.. err.. weren't very funny.

[Jairus]

*strikes a pose* ROCK ON! *epic guitar solo*

Don't ever do that again... or I shall have to develop the AMP Beam Guitar Axe.

By the way, I wanted to ask it before, but how do all those weapon systems fit on one suit of armour?

Magic.
...
In all seriousness, it takes a lot of work - and some cheating - on Nick's part to get it all to work. There are a few things I don't get into in those pages, like how AMB beam weapons are basically just different settings (explaining the lance/blaster) or how pretty much every system is linked into each other in order to fit at that scale (meaning that one system malfunctioning can cock the whole thing up). Half of what Nick has been doing is miniaturizing the components and making them reliable enough to work. Part of the reason that later generations start dropping physical weapons is because there isn't much space, and even the carbines don't have much in the way of ammo: energy and AM particles are much easier to scoot around (I don't even think the carbines on Roland are loaded). In addition to all of that, despite being ostensibly designed for anti-magic warfare, Roland and Rockon (Rocker not so much) calls on a lot of magic to work, and a handful of the parts don't even exist in the universe. In a way, Roland represents magic on a scale never attempted by Nick before, but magic that is tapped into in such a way as to be nearly impossible to be jammed by AM particles or normal anti-magic efforts. One of the weird things about technology-based magic (and not normal enchanted objects) is that it's actually fairly hard to screw with, and Roland is one of the most technology-based magical items to ever exist. Does that sort of help?

As for the song parodies... *long stare* Not that you should stop, but these two were.. err.. weren't very funny.

No, you're not being paranoid: they are not funny. I was exhausted when I wrote those. I think I'm going to stop writing these parodies unless a really good song comes up in my collection, also because I want to write something a bit more serious. That, and I've gone through the good ones... though I have one in mind that is not funny in the slightest and is actually fairly creepy and a little sick when you think about it...

[Ren Gaulen]

*strikes a pose* ROCK ON! *epic guitar solo*

Don't ever do that again... or I shall have to develop the AMP Beam Guitar Axe.

[Cogidubnus]

"Rockon. Rockon. Rockon. Rockon." 

...wait a tic.

*coughs*

I find it interesting that these things are more 'suits' of armor than actual Mechs of some sort. Iron Man as opposed to Domun, I suppose - in some ways, a bit more realistic than a thirty-story walking robot.

[Jairus]

"Rockon. Rockon. Rockon. Rockon." 

...wait a tic.

*coughs*

QFT. An expression I have never used before.

I find it interesting that these things are more 'suits' of armor than actual Mechs of some sort. Iron Man as opposed to Domun, I suppose - in some ways, a bit more realistic than a thirty-story walking robot.

Giant robots? Not yet: Nick is at least ten years before he builds his first giant robot. Skipper the giant mecha-wyvern does not count. And even then, I prefer my giant robots a wee bit shorter: 2 to 6 stories is reasonable.