[Fanfic] Eternal Torture

[Babidi KrakenGuard]

A question for all: What might my favorite boss be? If the fanfic doesn't give it away   I wrote this when i was on a Castlevania: Lament of Innocence mood, and i battled the critter a little to much and decided to make a fanfic about the critter. Be warned: My fanfic skills are still pretty rusty, so there are probably alot of things that needs fixing so if you spot anything in the fanfic that's begging "Fix me! Fix me!" Let me know

~~~~~
A pale moon shone on a castle in a forest engulfed in eternal night, but it's rays could not reach through the castle walls and shine down on the Creature that longed for freedom..

The Creature looked at the many chains that held it up using hooks through it's flesh. It hated it's creators who sealed it away in this prison. This Prison of Eternal Torture..

Before the Creature had horns of gold which made it look as if it were wearing a crown. It had white-gray skin with markings of gold and on it's back were four wings. Two were feathered, and two were webbed like that of a bat. Now it's horns were black and broken, and it's wings had rotted away, along with it's skin. One of it's arms had also rotted away, and so did it's legs and stomach..


The Creature wondered why it was sealed away. Was it because it's creators wanted to experiment with the prison in which it was in? or was it because the Creature wasn't something they wanted to create. It was a question that would remain unanswered for a long time, how long the creature never knew..

Many years have passed since the Creature was sealed away, and forgotten. It doesn't know how many years have passed, but it did know that it's creators are probably dead and the question of why it was sealed away was dead as well..

The Creature began to moan in pain. It had not eaten for how long and it's stomach began to hurt, and not drinking anything was torture enough as it is. It's throat was dry and it's stomach was empty. Every now and then it would hear a growl, that growl was the Creature's stomach. The Creature began to struggle again to break the chains that bound it, but the chains were to strong. The Creature gave another moan. This moan however was saddening. The Creature knew that it was hopeless, and that it would die in this Prison and so it waited for death to take it, to give it freedom that it longed for..

The Creature began to growl and hiss loudly. It struggled harder and harder, but the chains did not break. The Creature had found out that the Prison granted it immortal life, but that would not mean that it wouldn't feel pain or begin rotting away. A month ago, it's skin had begun to rot and one of it's arms had also rotted away, along with it's legs and stomach. The Creature became angry and wild when it found out that it would not simply die of starvation, dehydration or blood loss. Someone would have to come and end the Creature's life, the Forgotten One's life..

Many years have passed, and all that remains was it's heart and upper body. It just sat there, dangling from the chains. There were many maggots crawling all over what was left of it's body, but they weren't much help. Every now and then it would sigh, hoping that someone would come and end it's suffering. But it would probably never happen. The Lord of the Castle would take something precious away from someone, and that someone would always end up dead. Some had even come down the long spiral staircase and set their eyes on what was below the platform with blood all over it. Some looked at the Forgotten One with pity, others would just cringe at the sight and smell. There was one though that promised that they would end the Creature's suffering, but the one that made that promise never came. The Lord of the castle even came down to speak to the creature. At first it was happy until it heard the words of Walter Bernhard, Lord of the castle. "You are to remain here for all eternity, no one will save you." The Creature could not forget the look on Walter's face, and that face sickened it. Walter looked down at the Forgotten One with a sinister grin, and he walked away, laughing..

"There is no hope for me. I will live out the rest of my miserable life rotting away in this cell. No one will come to end my suffering. No one will come to save me. No one will come to bring eternal peace." The Forgotten one thought to itself as a tear ran down it's skinless face. It no longer wanted to survive or live, it only wanted death but knew that it would never come and the thought of enduring agonizing pain until the end of time was torture. "Torture.. What fun.." The Forgotten One thought to itself again. It began to laugh and the laughing grew louder and louder until it was heard from every room and chamber in the castle. Walter Bernhard sat in his throne room and grinned as he heard the laughing. He then ordered Death to make the Forgotten One a guardian of the Black Orb, which was full of hatred, wrath and sorrow..

Another year has passed. The Forgotten One still waited for someone to come and end it's life until one day, someone did come. The Forgotten One could not see who the stranger was but it was able to hear the door opening and closing and it felt the Maggots falling off of the creatures body and attacking the stranger. The Forgotten One grumbled with disappointment as it heard the sound of a whip. It could feel the stinging pain on it's heart, and the pain made the Forgotten One angry.

The platform raised and the Forgotten One growled in annoyance as it felt the stinging pain again, this time on it's arm and chest. The Forgotten One struggled and finally was able to break the chains that bound it's arm. It slammed it's hand on the platform and swiped across it, hoping to crush whoever was attacking it. But at the same time it wanted death, and hoped that this stranger will be the one to grant it's wish..

The Forgotten One's arm went limp at it's side. It's arm stung with great pain and soon the Platform rised yet again. It gathered energy and began to see sparks and then the mask was broken. Now he saw this stranger who had come to challenge the Forgotten One. The stranger wore clothing that was red and white and hair that was light-blond. The Stranger looked at the Forgotten One with the same look some of the others had given it, pity. There was something else that the Forgotten One sensed: Sadness and Anger. Walter must have done something terrible to whoever this stranger is, and the Forgotten One felt pity for this stranger. The Forgotten One took a deep breath and roared so loudly that it shook the prison so hard that rocks began to fall. The Forgotten One then gathered energy and prepared to send that energy to the stranger, who had went behind one of the boulders to avoid the powerful energy blast. The Forgotten One would have grinned if it still had skin on it's face. It gave a loud roar again which made more rocks fall down for the stranger to hide behind. Again the stranger would attack, again the Forgotten One would roar and again it would breath it's powerful energy blast. The Forgotten One could feel whatever life was leaving it's body, and the feeling made it happy. The Forgotten One gathered energy again for one last blast but then realised that there were no more rocks and boulders for the stranger to hide behind and before the Forgotten One could stop, it's blast engulfed the stranger. All hope seemed to have gone when the Forgotten One felt a stinging pain on it's face. It then saw that the Stranger was still standing, and he had delivered the final blow. The Forgotten One then remembered why it was sealed away for all eternity. The Forgotten One's Creators had made it so that it would forever guard the world from being destroyed, but it turns out that the Forgotten One was the one that almost ended the world..

The Forgotten One's vision began to darken, and it felt death's cold hands take it. But the cold feeling soon turned to bliss and peacefulness. At last the pain had stopped. At last it was freed from the Prison of Eternal Torture. "Thank you." The Forgotten One sighed peacefully as the last of it's life left what remained of it's body..

The Platform began to lower and the Black Orb awaited it's new master. Leon Belmont looked back at the dangling corpse of the Forgotten One. "May you find peace.." Leon Belmont said to the Forgotten One as he left the Prison of Eternal Torture, to find Walter, to avenge Sara's suffering, Rinaldo's grief and the Forgotten Ones pain and torture..
~~~~~
So, what do you think? Anything that needs fixing?

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Some minor points.

You have the creature having no stomach... and yet the stomach it doesn't have is giving it pain.

The entire lower half of the creature is missing - one presumes this includes the structure that anchors the diaphragm - and yet, it can scream in pain and/or rage...


Peripherally, there are a couple of typos as well - to instead of too, that sort of thing - but those are less of a bother.

[Babidi KrakenGuard]

Oky dokes, going to fix these. Thanks for pointing them out

Changed "Along with it's lower half" to "Along with it's legs and stomach."

You have the creature having no stomach... and yet the stomach it doesn't have is giving it pain.

Changed part of the story into Italics for past events before and when it started "Rotting" Away. Normal text is pretty much the present i guess.

Hopefully everything is all fixed up, and if there is anything else that needs fixing let me know