Jim's NFAQ now with 20% more... word... things.

[Jim Halisstrad]

Not frequently asked questions.
Disclamer:
THIS IS ALL FACT AND IF YOU DISAGREE WITH ME YOU ARE A BIG JERKFACED JERKY JERK.
This is my crappy attempt at humor sprinkled with opinion and experience.


Ahem.
So, you're a new face in the furry fandom but you lack any artistic talent.  You don't have buckets of money to throw around on cool swag.  And you're somewhat normal so you don't fall into any of the fandom's fetishes.

You're screwed

But fear not my little chickadee, because Uncle Jim is here to help you.

Q:  How do I connect with other furries in the fandom if I don't share the same intrests?

A:  Easy, you talk at them using your keyboard.  Grammar and spelling are semi-importent here so if you lack these, you might want a spell checking device.  One of these devices can be found on the internet, through one of it's series of tubes.

Ok, now that I'm through being an ass there are several ways that one could go about mating furs.  Find a webcomic and troll join up with it's message board.  Join the dramallama that is livejournal.com and search for a community.  There are also sites like pounced.org to consider.

Q:  Wow... thats great and all, but thats not what I asked.  If I'm not an artist or a freak, how do I connect with other furries?

A:  Oh....  well, there is always the option of being yourself.  This generally works well unless you're retardedly bashfull, annoying, or stupid.  Not everyone will like you, but I guaranty that you will eventually make a friend or two.
Also, while there is no help for you if you're annoying (I have no friends  ) or stupid ( ), I have advice for bashful people.

Bashful people:  The worst thing that can happen if you're trying to make friends on the internet is them tricking you so they can find out where you live, murder you and your whole family, sexually molest your dog, and eat all the food in the fridge rejection.  Seriously, not everyone is going to like you.  But as long as you're not an asshole and you have a lick of common sense you will do fine.  Life is not a popularity contest.

Q:  OMG this artist is SOOO good.  I'm down to my last twenty.... BUT I MUST GET THEM TO DRAW FOR ME.

A:  NO!  BAD FANCREATURE!  Remember you're strapped for cash as it is.  If you absolutely must commission the artist make sure you can afford the extra expense.  A good rule of thumb is to have at least two hundred dollars in the bank to fall back on.   It might just be twenty, but there have been multiple times that I had to eat nothing but ramen for two weeks because I spent to much on swag.  Don't be me.

Q:  Allright!  I just found out that there is a local furry group not to far from me.  I think that I should go meeOHMYGODPANICPANICPANIC!!!!!!!  I think I'll hide in a corner and never leave o.o

A:  Fail get.  Here is what you do.  Get in contact with the group somehow and ask about them, see if they have any meetings or would like to do a group activity such as bowling, pool, etc (If you're still strapped for cash, make sure to suggest something fun yet sort of cheap).  If you don't have a car, then find a friend who is willing to drive  you.  If you don't have friends then.... wow.  You might take a risk and ask the group for a ride.

Q:  So, tell me about these fur cons.

A:  They are a wretched hive of scum and villainy.  In all seriousness though furcons are the best thing to go to if you are a social creature.   You just have to know a few things to look out for.

Q:  Can I have a list of links to see if there is one near me?

A:   To quote the great Emeril BAM!  Note:  This list is not complete, but damned if I am going to spend an hour compiling my own.

Q:  How do I shot web?

A:  Pools Closed.

More to be added to the furcon question.   Itchy.  Tasty. 

[Destina Faroda]

Hm...so people who are not annoying should not be themeselves?  So does that mean we should lie and say "yes, you're right" to everything?

If it weren't for "annoying" people, nothing would ever change for the better.  Those "annoying" civil rights leaders, those "annoying" watchdog group, the "annoying" media...

Be careful.  As soon as you agree to getting rid of all the "annoying" people, you may be labeled "annoying" yourself.

[Jim Halisstrad]

Pfft, I have no room to talk about being irritating/annoying/mentally disturbing.
Usually I bug the shit out of people sooner rather then later.   

"Also, while there is no help for you if you're annoying (I have no friends    )"  That line was supposed to let people know that I am full fecal matter and to not take that line seriously.  I guess I failed though.

I see how one could read it that way and thats sort of one stubling block that comes with the internet.  No one can actually hear your lulz.

[TheGreyRonin]

Yep, there's no emotion unless you type it in. *grins*

As for annoying....I can bug people into never speaking to me again in about ten seconds flat. Less if you read that last sentence slowly. *chuckles*

Oh, and on-topic? I needed a laugh, Jim. Thanks!

[Destina Faroda]

As someone who has had the "annoying"  tag placed on her, this is no laughing matter.

I've had people say things were a joke, I initially don't see it as a joke, then when I later refer to what they say as a joke, then they say they meant it.

Then when I say a joke that's in proportion with what's to said to me, it's "crossing the line."

That's why I don't joke around.

[Zina]

[Destina Faroda]

[Amber Williams]

This thread needs more cowbell...

Still. It was amusing Jim.  Do you intend to expand on it or is this just a one-shot?

[Jim Halisstrad]

I plan on expanding it eventually (i.e.  this weekend).  But I'm about to head off for school to give an introductory speech and after that start catching up on the million plus piles of homework I'm behind on.

CURSE YOU .HACK

[Vidar]

This thread needs more cowbell...

BONGNGNGNG!

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Jim, was there deliberately a spelling mistake just after mentioning the spell checker? :-)

[Zina]

O BURN. D:
I guess I've been given the ol' whats what.

[Amber Williams]

Guess its back to the Trail o Tears for you Zina. 

[Zina]

STOP MAKING FUN OF MY PEOPLE'S PLIGHT.
The wounds are deep.

[Amber Williams]

Would some vodka and a few shiny beads make up for it?

[Zina]

Shiney beads?!!
I'll trade you New York for them.

[TheGreyRonin]

Posted by: Zina 
Shiney beads?!!
I'll trade you New York for them. 

Nah, hold out for South Dakota. You'll end up here anyways.

[Zina]

Posted by: Zina 
Shiney beads?!!
I'll trade you New York for them. 

Nah, hold out for South Dakota. You'll end up here anyways.

Owned.
BY THE WHITE MAN.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Owned.
BY THE WHITE MAN. D:

.. With the red rose.

Yes.

[R.A.M.]

lol
im retardedly bashfull,

[TheGreyRonin]

Posted by: Zina 

Owned.
BY THE WHITE MAN.

*ahem* I'm more like a mixed blend, a sort of German/Scottish/Irish cocktail with a twist of Cherokee and a hint of African and Russian.

*grins* But yes, I pwned j00. LOL

[Zina]

No, South Dakota is owned by the white man. All of America is.
Except casinos. Those're © injins.

[bill]

Feh. Not the ones in 'Vegas.

[Zina]

That's what they want you to think.

[bill]

Ah. Would it have anything to do with that shifty-looking guy I saw behind the 1-way mirror at the MGM Grand?

[Jim Halisstrad]

I'm sorry Bill, that probably was a one way mirror 


*Gets punched by homework*

[bill]

I'm sorry Bill, that probably was a one way mirror 


*Gets punched by homework*

It never happened. 

[Alondro]

There's one way to survive in the fandom if you're not a good artist... become a writer!  Writers are people who can't draw...   

I'm a writer... 

[xHaZxMaTx]

I can't do either!

[Yugo]

So if I'm relatively normal and not a freak or artist, I talk at people with my keyboard, like this. -flails at keyboard- Seriously though, it IS a little awkward (for me) to just IM/e-mail some random person I don't really know all that well.