Corrupt a Wish, Part Deux

[Aridas]

Granted, but it's an execution sort of hanging.

I wish I knew the true meaning of corrupt-a-wishmas (it's not just about miswrapped presents of ill fortune, you know)

[e_voyager]

Granted. You can see a full rant by either Wildy, or Destania, from the audience.

well by Des-lee i meant Desiree Lee. Destania would be Des ti'fiona or maybe Des-Ti`. very good corruption bye the way.

anyway. Granted but the answer only brings you sorry and miss fortune.

i wish my sister would get over you instant crushes . i mean come it's getting down right scary.

[Valynth]

Granted, she is now over the crush, but she already married him.

I wish I could understand every language known to man!

[Caswin]

I wish I could understand every language known to man!

Confuse your friends!  Confuse foreigners!  Bring order to the UN!  Well, you tried, at least.  Winding down with a swim, you somehow happen across a few whales doing their singing-The Odyssey's-worth-of-information-in-one-song thing to each other.
Now, man isn't exactly fluent in this particular language, but we do know enough for it to fall under the terms of your wish.  You understand every word, or close to it - but it's too much to process.  No, you don't become a drooling heap, as more than one of your overinformed predecessors in this topic have, but you do have something resembling a seizure and generally lose your motor functions.  Not a good thing, out there in the water...

I wish they'd finish with the Gargoyles DVD set.

[Valynth]

Granted, but you never see it.

Also, I believe they did finish it, but see above corruption.

I wish I could dodge a point-blank shotgun blast.

[TheGreyRonin]

Granted. You dodge the point-blank shotgun blast, only to step directly in front of a speeding semi as it jumps the curb and slams into a nearby bank with you on its' grill.

I wish I could permanently cure writer's block.

[Valynth]

Granted, unfortunately you can't stop writing.

I wish I had a working, useable, and practical hoverboard.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted. The batteries are flat, and they don't bring out that model of battery for, oh, another 30 years.


I wish I could stop staying up all night.

[TheGreyRonin]

Granted. You contract are sleeping sickness, and never spend another moment conscious until you die of old age.

(Man, it was hard not to do a Viagra joke!)

I wish I had the strength of the Hulk, with none of the side effects.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted. Unfortunately, you can't turn it off. Shaving becomes tricky, since the handle of the razor tends to break off accidentally, and if it doesn't, you can easily slice your face to shreds... As does opening doors, since they have a disturbing habit of breaking off the hinges when you pull. Likewise car doors, keyboards, etc.

In fact, you're pretty much stuck with being unable to do anything with your fabulous new strength. Except, possibly, get a job as a car crusher....


I wish a had a car I could ask you to compact for me...

[Cogidubnus]

Granted. You have a very dependable Toyota. Unfortunately, he compacts it for you.

I wish I was more diplomatic.

[Stygian]

Granted. However, taken into account... well, let's say there will never be trouble again. And you'll be the one to pay for the peace.

I wish that some people were more capable of reading between the lines here on this forum.

[GabrielsThoughts]

granted, you are now the great Capt. Jack Sparrow unfortunately people misinterpret your meaning and think you are an @$$hole, your accent is fake, you are the most disgusting man alive, and you are suggesting everyone else is a moron using lines like "you smell funny". thankfully no one will have to listen to your overly intellectual boasts again because you are eaten by a Kracken, and no one likes you enough to bring you back.

I wish for an apple pie...and not the one that some one has stuck their Johnson in, or anything related like it having a "mouse toy" in it if you catch my meaning. in fact avoid all american pie refrences if possible.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted. It's made out of ground apples, though according to a recipe that asked for Red Delicious instead.

Note: "ground apples" == "pomme-de-terres" == potatoes. Enjoy your pie. Especially the syrup on the top.


I wish I'd been awake earlier.

[Cogidubnus]

Granted. You are now cursed to awake earlier and earlier, until you begin to 'awake backwards', literally losing the little sleep that you had in the past, until it's like you never had any sleep, ever.

I wish that Middle English was still proper to use.

[GabrielsThoughts]

granted, unfortuantely no body knows what middle english is except you and the french,  so everyone else in the world being confused simply just thinks your  from france.

I wish for MST3k to return to television.

[Caswin]

I wish for MST3k to return to television.

And they're just as hilarious as ever!  ...until some long-forgotten heir of the guy who made that one movie they just made fun of sues them.  Never mind the laws protecting parody and such things - this man's legacy has been tarnished!
It doesn't last half a season.  Shame, I was looking forward to them nailing 2001: A Space Odyssey.

I wish the big, mean corporations would listen to the little guy.

[vulpesweasel]

granted, but the little guy named Bob was secretly the devil reborn, and now we have a literal hell on earth (not much worse from everyday life though)

I wish I was a vampire

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted. Unfortunately, your wish is granted under the noon-day sun.

Now.. where did I put that SPF3000+?


I wish I had gone to bed...

[e_voyager]

granted but your soul was stolen by me and integrated into a laptop by manta. enjoy being the ghost in the machine Baw ha ha

man i wish i had been quicker to corrupt the wishes.

[Angel]

Granted. As a result, the other equally marvelous corrupters (corruptors?) of wishes are very upset because their corruptions. They're very sad, and as a result, they kill you.

Going the Nightwish route, I wish I had an angel...

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted, however, due to a typo, you actually have an angle. It's obtuse.



I wish I could get the code for the forum finished up. (hey, pre-corrupted wishes. Who knew? :-)

[GabrielsThoughts]

granted, however there was a fatal mistake and now everyone except the mods see's  a white flowing background with lit'l cute triangles and diamonds...hmm says one industrious forumite who shall remain nameless, let's see what damage we can do before the mods catch on...and then twenty six others get the Idea, and before you know it the site has been hacked by everyone except me, and within ten minutes your hard work was ruined.


I wish I could remember how to do XHTML flawlessly and without errors.

[e_voyager]

Granted but not XHTML is outlawed and striped form the web.

i wish it was light out side.

[Angel]

Granted. It randomly becomes pitch-black night in Tokyo. The lighthouse employees speed over to the lighthouses as quickly as possible, but at least ten fishing boats crash. Way to go.

I wish my cold was gone.

[GabrielsThoughts]

granted, you stick hydrogen peroxide in your ears and are mysteriously cured within 24hrs ...unfortunately you now have to go back to work  and you hate your job.

I wish for a knowledge of holistic medicines that work.

[e_voyager]

granted but you only know the ones that are useless because the plants have gone extinct.

I wish i could avoid  destroying everyone around me when i slip into battle rage..

[Caswin]

I wish i could avoid  destroying everyone around me when i slip into battle rage..

Granted.  Now you just don't destroy anyone.  This, incidentally, makes you very easy to destroy.

I wish AOL would provide me with customer support.

[GabrielsThoughts]

granted, however you are more likely to get better help from Microsoft's  x-box division.

I wish for an xbox 360 with the 20 gigabyte hard drive

[TheGreyRonin]

Granted. But due to a factory mistake it is sealed in a twelve-ton block of concrete.

I wish I had more experience playing an RPG, rather than running one.