[Comdic Sarcastic Satire Wirting] Crap Guide to Smash Ultimate

[lunaeclipse]

Disclaimer, the work you are about is a pastage of the Crap Guide by Jocat, as i do tend to not swear this will be a bit more lighter then his normal work, but more importantly do not take any of the rudeness in this surious as this is just for comdy reason and I do not mean to offend anyone, if you have a problem with this know that i me know harm with what I will so type before going to bed after eating only the red gummi bears because I like cherry and then regretting it for some reason or another.

So are you tired of having no Friends? Are you wanting more excitment in your life? Are you willing to spend 60 dollars then 60 more dollars and then more money to play online just to smash you Nintendo Switch just to buy a new one and blame your loses on the bad servers? Well do I have the game for you and it is game you don't need to be good at, just annoying at so be prepared to spend hours on it anyway just because you spent 500 bucks on it, and you sure are gonna milk it for what it is worth, WELCOME TO A CRAP GUIDE TO SMASH ULTIMATE... (Mario)

So who do we start off with but the OG the main pasta with no sause and not fully cooked because if you main this character your stale and plain like bread. Mario is a pretty friendly start to the game as he is good at pretty much everything by having pretty much anything, his grabs are decent, spceials are decent, life is decent, to bad his cooking is not and he makes Luigi pay the bill. So you may be asking yourself? What is this guys flaws? well pretty much anything and anyone being slighty better then you using anyonter character, you are the most blanced meaning you have nothing to abuse if people see you come and you can bet your left butt check the will see it coming, you triple jump is lame unless you hit someone, your fire ball is lame as it can be easily dodged, blocked, countered, and I am pretty sure you can cook on it with how slow it moves it was not for the fact it does not go that far like my moms expectations of youtubers... Wait. Your magic cape while being useful in both close counters unlike some counter for projectiles and turning people sround like the can smell you toliet you still have not flushed can be used right for projectiles it's animation give plent of time to let your enemies get out of the way and then it a bagle as you call them a hacker, the only super good move this guy has can be dodged easily and does not damage, how is it good? it is water and water never hurt anybody.... excpet for hurricanes, tusunmis, blue ringged ouctpus, forget what i said, what i mean it will not give you enemy another jump after hitting them off the egde and praying them with yuor super soaker, and then you watch them fall in a blast of color, but then again it leaves you open so it is useless if you are not playing a one v one and even then it takes a second to charge, hope you passed you math class cause you going to need it and that is.... Wait... no! (BANNED FOR COPYRIGHT cNINTENDO 2022, Reason [picking on Mario])