2018-03-27 [DLR 10-10] Dark Lord: The end

[MT Hazard]

The end of the dark lord story line. I've got to say I'm disappointed.

Reaves turned out to be Daryil, essentially killing an interesting character. A multiple murderer gets away with it, just because he wasn't the one who murder royalty. Most of the party were Cubi save their guard and the bandit, but all failed to notice this until forcibly revealed, there was no dark lord to fight and once again Daryil screws over everyone.

[ZacAttac21]

Suit yourself. I thought it was funny for the most part. And if you think about it, "Reeves" can return any time he wants to.

I will agree about the Amanti thing though. Guy like that should not be allowed to carry a sword.

Heh, that reminds me: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/25940970/

[Tapewolf]

Endings have never really been my strong point.  That said, I'm not sure how things would have been improved by a tragic ending where Sven and the bandit leader are publicly executed, or the entire party ends up on the run, in fear of King Fairwater for the rest of their lives.  There's only so many ways the situation can be defused without further bloodshed.

If it helps, consider that after this little exercise, Amanti is likely to be kept on a pretty tight leash until he manages to break his habit of killing random strangers.  For all the violence in these stories, I still prefer to have characters redeem themselves.  Daryil is in many ways a manifestation of that - his project to try and save Jyraneth from themselves is a running theme, starting in Project Future (p.438) and continuing in Epsilon.  It was already set in stone at that point so it recurring in DLR shouldn't be a massive shock.  Killing Amanti closes that avenue pretty thoroughly and he's someone I'd like to explore further in future stories.

I'll concede that exposing Reeves as Daryil is a little obvious, though "interesting" is perhaps a stretch given that the design goal for him was to make him as boring as possible.  It was kind of intended to conflate him with Jakob, who also has a tendency to be a bit boring.

I do beg to differ about the Dark Lord's absence, though.  It would also have meant dropping the finger-pointing at the end where Jason is accused of being the Dark Lord, and that was one of the earliest parts of the story.  There's also the fact that the party is essentially a sham from day one, a collection of misfits and charlatans - having them actually succeed would be a little contrived.  It was more fun to have the whole thing unravel at the end.  For me, at least.
Also, it's very difficult to including canon DMFA characters in fan works, and unless they have a flexible attitude (Fa'Lina) or a certain amount of help/advice from Mab (Taun) the chances are pretty good that you'll mangle the character catastrophically.  Dark Pegasus did appear in some of the original Chronicles stories, and that is a mistake I'm not intending to repeat.
Yes, I suppose I could have custom-made a Dark Lord for the part, but then I'd have to plan out motivations and so forth.

[Genesis]

Personally I think the ending was as good as it could be. Like Tapewolf said it'd hardly be believable for a party so built on lies, deception, and half-truths(Edit: Not to mention all the trying to kill/expose/suspect each other) to succeed, at least in the traditional sense.

Plus it was just damn funny.

On another note, is that literally Sven's head? If it is Amanti needs to work on his taxidermy skills.

[ZacAttac21]

I think I liked the ending of the original story better, because Daryil Shenanigans™, heeheehee:

"Well, seeing as most of us guys are shirtless," Daryil began, "I was thinking we could all have a casual sex party.  Dibs on the King," he added, and was hugging Fairwater seductively before the Doberman had quite figured out what was going on.

"I liked him better as Reeves," Snell said.

Although the taxidermied Sven head was a nice add.

[Mork]

loved the story and all the twists and turns it took and all the new characters in the story.

[Tapewolf]

I think I liked the ending of the original story better, because Daryil Shenanigans™, heeheehee:

Yeah, the two problems with that were, firstly Admaria goes home without any sense of justice for the murdered princess, and secondly, it's exactly the same as the ending on 'To Catch A Demon' and people would have rightfully complained about that.  It's essentially a default ending if I can't think of one - just have Daryil try to get in someone's pants for comedy effect.

[WhyNot?]

Well, since we've reached the ending I'll be honest about my thoughts regarding both the comic and the original story.

I do think the ending is probably the weakest part of the original story. The various reveals (the Dark Lord isn't real, 'oops all Cubi', Reeves=Daryil and Sven actually existing) all work and I can appreciate the intentional anti-climax of a situation where the main characters are left wondering what they're supposed to do as the problem resolves itself. What really is the problem is that Story!Amanti is so utterly unlikable that it's kinda deflating.

I guessed who Reeves was when he showed he could glue heads back on, especially since there were no other connections to the PF-verse yet,  and it seemed to me like that plot was building up to Sven getting some sort of Daryily punishment of the sort that sucks now but forces you to take a look at yourself and the world and hopefully go down a path that leads to you becoming a better person. Being revealed to be Cubi only seemed to lend more credence to that, but instead we're told that happened years(?) ago, and while that works for Comic!Amanti, Story!Amanti is different.

He's completely unrepentant, takes delight in upsetting Daryil despite using him to protect himself, seems to feel entitled to his kills in a cheat day sort of way and in general seems to be gaming the system rather than trying to improve himself. The fact Daryil, and implicitly the narrative itself, tries to defend/appeal to worse problems away this behavior comes across as somewhat character shilly and nothing makes you dislike something more than being told not to dislike it.

It's why I bought up the change in expressions and attitude of Comic!Amanti in the last thread. Making him nervous, contrite and apologetic makes him feel like someone who's been through the system, who's been in good faith put in charge of policing himself before he's ready to do so and honestly wants to be better. Still, I  think Daryil having a line of the 'We'll have to have a talk about this later' sort would've helped allay the idea that he's just going to walk out and continue doing what he's doing with no oversight something irresponsible for Daryil to do with Comic!Amanti and near unforgivable for Story!Amanti.

All in all, whilst the ending chapter suffers from having to, essentially, introduce a new character, explain his backstory and then finish his subplot and it happening after the main plot and everyone else's subplot have concluded making it feel more like an oddly vital epilogue than a final chapter, I think the comic gave us a fairly decent ending to a good story.

Also it'd probably be hypocritical of me to still be calling for Amanti's blood, when I've grown so oddly attached to Isabella and want to see her safe and happy. D'awwww she's part of the group now.

[Tapewolf]

Still, I  think Daryil having a line of the 'We'll have to have a talk about this later' sort would've helped allay the idea that he's just going to walk out and continue doing what he's doing with no oversight something irresponsible for Daryil to do with Comic!Amanti and near unforgivable for Story!Amanti.

That's not a bad idea, I might see if I can work that in somehow.

[ZacAttac21]

I think I liked the ending of the original story better, because Daryil Shenanigans™, heeheehee:

Yeah, the two problems with that were, firstly Admaria goes home without any sense of justice for the murdered princess...

Oh, I approve of that too. That's what I meant when I said I liked the taxidermied Sven thing.

[Tapewolf]

Oh, I approve of that too. That's what I meant when I said I liked the taxidermied Sven thing.

Oh, I thought you were just amused by the googly eyes

[Raskahn]

Although the taxidermied Sven head was a nice add.

While the ending quality can be debated, there have been many endings in all sorts of media with dissatisfied fans in the past, I'm sure.
This particular ending is not going down in my book of "wow" but it was still nice in its own right. And yes, taxidermy Sven was friggin' hilarious.

As always, looking forward to more PF (related) stuff. Keep it up guys!

ps

In no way or shape was I dissapointed, enjoyed every page so far.

[ZacAttac21]

Oh, I approve of that too. That's what I meant when I said I liked the taxidermied Sven thing.

Oh, I thought you were just amused by the googly eyes

Hah, that too.

[Tapewolf]

I have updated the dialogue slightly to make Daryil less pleased about Amanti's response.

Also, this may be of interest:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FmV2n7icLM

[Lying Foo]

Yvonne and Isabella?  Was that set up somewhere?  Especially right after the one killing everyone the other knew...

[Merlin]

No, wasn't in the script either, I just wanted to draw them like that

[Lying Foo]

...you're making a new avatar aren't you.