The Clockwork Mansion

The Grand Hallway => Tower of Art => Topic started by: Yugo on March 25, 2014, 11:52:52 AM

Title: [Fiction] I write things, you read them! (Updated 3/25/14)
Post by: Yugo on March 25, 2014, 11:52:52 AM
It's been so long since I've been here that I thought it might be better to start a new thread. (And my old writing would best be forgotten!) This is going to be fiction only, no poetry.

3/25/14: Night in Lindenton (https://www.weasyl.com/submission/539597/night-in-lindenton)

Keaton asked that I write her a short story in her verse featuring the psychopathic as-GAK! I mean wonderful Halloween and his lieutenant Zaell. Comments welcome here and at Weasyl.
Title: Re: [Fiction] I write things, you read them! (Updated 3/25/14)
Post by: Tapewolf on March 25, 2014, 12:09:29 PM
Oh, so you wrote that!  I read the thing this morning.  It definitely had Sunblink written all over it :p
Title: Re: [Fiction] I write things, you read them! (Updated 3/25/14)
Post by: llearch n'n'daCorna on March 25, 2014, 12:25:27 PM
Huh. I feel I should point out, Weasyl won't let me read that unless I register an account. Just so you know...
Title: Re: [Fiction] I write things, you read them! (Updated 3/25/14)
Post by: Yugo on March 25, 2014, 12:32:24 PM
Thoughts? What you liked the most/least? You always have a lot to say, so I want to hear what you think, Tape. :3
Title: Re: [Fiction] I write things, you read them! (Updated 3/25/14)
Post by: Tapewolf on March 25, 2014, 12:56:52 PM
Quote from: Yugo on March 25, 2014, 12:32:24 PM
Thoughts? What you liked the most/least? You always have a lot to say, so I want to hear what you think, Tape. :3

I enjoyed it.  It was well-written, dark but not overly so (with the possible exception of the description of the sacrifice).

[spoiler]I wasn't sure whether to be relieved or disappointed when the merc didn't kill him at the end.  I mean, he is the protagonist but nasty enough that killing him off wouldn't have been uncalled for.  It was an interesting moral dilemma.
[/spoiler]

In a lot of ways it reminded me of my own ongoing story about Jakob and Keaton's first meeting.  It captured the dark medieval feel quite well.

Except for the vinyl-bound book - that felt conspicuously out-of-place.
Title: Re: [Fiction] I write things, you read them! (Updated 3/25/14)
Post by: Yugo on March 25, 2014, 03:26:51 PM
Something that merits further revision then. I'm glad you liked it so much.