The Clockwork Mansion

The Grand Hallway => The Outer Fortress => Topic started by: Aridas on September 01, 2006, 12:01:13 PM

Title: Sam, are you alright?
Post by: Aridas on September 01, 2006, 12:01:13 PM
(i originally planned to post a bit more, but then i found something better)

Hey, I'm sure most people are aware of this already, but microsoft sam is a terrible (yet funny) TTS voice.

Don't take my word for it, just ask This website (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Martinultima/101_Things_To_Do_With_Microsoft_Sam)

For instance, getting Sam to say "soy" or "crotch" results in interesting things. (especially try soy on the slowest speed.)

Give it a whirl, I know XP users usually have it in the control panel, but I'm not sure of other flavors of windows right now.
Title: Re: Sam, are you alright?
Post by: Rowne on September 01, 2006, 12:09:32 PM
Oh, I love computer generated voices.  Dr. Sbaitso, how I miss thee.

In fact, computer generated voices can make anything tolerable.  This is a tale from long ago, in a time when Windows was younger and I was more naive, a good, good friend of mine and I decided to try out the Yahoo! client's games.  We were playing chess.

The chess was as boring as could be expected but it had speech synthesis for anything that was typed.  We did just about everything from trying to get it to say our moves properly to pretending to be the good and revered Mr. Hawking.  Good times.
Title: Re: Sam, are you alright?
Post by: Dakata on September 01, 2006, 12:19:05 PM
*Makes Sam say "penis penis penis" sloooowly*

...*BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH*

Sam is my new best friend. :B
Title: Re: Sam, are you alright?
Post by: Aridas on September 01, 2006, 12:19:46 PM
Ooh, I've got Dr. Sbaitso stashed away, but I can't get him to work...
Title: Re: Sam, are you alright?
Post by: Rowne on September 01, 2006, 12:33:58 PM
Ari: *Leia voice.* DosBox, you're our only hope!  <.<  I got mine to work under DB, anyhow.

Dakata: You outrageously silly person, you.

----

Also, Dakata's silly reminds me so, so much of this particular episode of Weeeeebl'n Bob (http://www.weebls-stuff.com/wab/balance/).
Title: Re: Sam, are you alright?
Post by: Dakata on September 01, 2006, 12:48:06 PM
*Lawl* Sam makes me feel smart. :B

Edit: Oooooh...I can make him say my name...RIGHT...sorta D: Make him say 'Dakah ta'
Title: Re: Sam, are you alright?
Post by: Rowne on September 01, 2006, 12:53:52 PM
Of course, also funny is having him say ...

dakatakatakatakadakatakammmmpie

----

For those that can't test it, it comes out as: can't talk, can't talk, can't talk, can't talk!... can die~

----

Also good is:

five, six, seven, eight, who do we assassinate?

But he lacks such passion at the end of it.
Title: Re: Sam, are you alright?
Post by: Aridas on September 01, 2006, 01:14:08 PM
I'M NONONONONONONONONONONOT SILLY

THE ANSWER IS ASHDKJHASDHGSAGHJADGAASDSAD

Whoo. Sbaitsoness. Always sounds like he's drowning, though.
Title: Re: Sam, are you alright?
Post by: Miaka on September 01, 2006, 01:15:30 PM
I made the one on my ex-girlfriends computer saw "Badger badger badger muchroom mushroom" it was pretty hilarious.

Making them curse, too.
Title: Re: Sam, are you alright?
Post by: Tapewolf on September 01, 2006, 01:17:52 PM
I've never heard of 'Sam' - if it comes bundled with XP, I've got to try it.

With speech synthesizers in general, 'ghoti' is quite an interesting one.  Speech! on the BBC Micro pronounced it correctly ("fish!") but with slightly different intonation, so if you made it say "fish ghoti fish ghoti fish ghoti.." it would say "fish, fish, fish" but in a slightly different pitch.  I almost got Speech! to sing the 'Neighbours' theme song.  (I hated that show.)

There was an old DOS one that did really peculiar things- 'bta' would be pronounced as 'butter', but with freaky emphasis, e.g. "BUh TUh!" it did 'gta' for 'gutter' as well.  Hence a whole string of ridiculous strings about "the butter in the gutter".  I think it might have been called 'tran'.

Psalm 23 as heard on the end of my song 'Return to Babel' was recorded using Text-OLE (or "text-hole" as we called it) with the speed set to high so that it gabbled its way through it.
Title: Re: Sam, are you alright?
Post by: Dakata on September 01, 2006, 01:47:50 PM
Sam is so fun. :B I made him sing! ..Sorta.

"Be my bad boy be my man Be my weekend lover but don't be my friend You can be my bad boy, but understand that I don't need you in my life again."

:3

Edit: Darn. D: I can't make him "sing" the whole song. He's so meeeaaan.
Title: Re: Sam, are you alright?
Post by: bill on September 01, 2006, 02:51:16 PM
Oh, thank God. I thought I had gotten in an accident.  D:
Title: Re: Sam, are you alright?
Post by: Leafar on September 01, 2006, 03:13:11 PM
Quote from: BillBuckner on September 01, 2006, 02:51:16 PM
Oh, thank God. I thought I had gotten in an accident. D:

me too!!!!!!!! i saw the thread name and i said OH NO!!!!!!!! :O :U
Title: Re: Sam, are you alright?
Post by: Dakata on September 01, 2006, 03:21:40 PM
[offtopic]

Quote from: BillBuckner on September 01, 2006, 02:51:16 PM
Oh, thank God. I thought I had gotten in an accident.  D:
*Pushes Bill/Sam down some stairs* D: OH NO!! BILL/SAM!! Quick, someone call 911! D: D: D:

...*Just sits there because he's a lazy dragon* X3

Edit: *Beats Bill/Sam with a shovel, just in case he's still alive not-hurt-alot.

[/offtopic]

:B Bwahah. I'm so evil and tired. *Takes a nap...in the NAUGHTY CORNER* D:
Title: Re: Sam, are you alright?
Post by: Rowne on September 01, 2006, 03:48:24 PM
That's actually what I thought first too, Leaf.  My mind reeled for a moment, "Ohnoes, Bill!  I like Bill.  I hope nothing's happened to the poor bugger."  Then I realized of course that you, I and possibly only a couple of other forumites knew of his non-forum name and therefore calmed down and clicked the link.
Title: Re: Sam, are you alright?
Post by: Roureem Egas on September 01, 2006, 03:57:50 PM
Except now, everone will know Bill's other name.  :P
Title: Re: Sam, are you alright?
Post by: Aridas on September 01, 2006, 04:10:18 PM
You people overthink stuff too much. That ruins the fun before it even happens. >.>
Title: Re: Sam, are you alright?
Post by: bill on September 01, 2006, 04:11:08 PM
Of course, anyone just coulda looked at my damn e-mail address...
Title: Re: Sam, are you alright?
Post by: Rowne on September 01, 2006, 04:13:22 PM
That's true but I think Leafar and I were the only stalkers people that did, after all, look at the confusion that erupted in the P.A.Y. thread (or wherever it was) when he called you Sam.
Title: Re: Sam, are you alright?
Post by: xHaZxMaTx on September 01, 2006, 05:46:23 PM
Having him say a letter repeatedly is always a treat. :D

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Title: Re: Sam, are you alright?
Post by: luiqui on September 01, 2006, 06:29:59 PM
Thank you very much for pointing this out. I'm having great fun making him imitate a helicopter.

axxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

And don't forget soi. And holy water.
Title: Re: Sam, are you alright?
Post by: Aridas on September 01, 2006, 06:47:40 PM
Here's an excellent beat, try this:

ooooooooooooo ooooooooooooo ooooooooooooo ooooooooooooo ooooooooooooo ooooooooooooo ooooooooooooo ooooooooooooo!

At normal speed, or a couple notches below it, for best results.
Title: Re: Sam, are you alright?
Post by: vulpesweasel on September 01, 2006, 07:16:15 PM
I love Sam! I'vee spent hours making him say stuff! Making him say "wow" as slow as possible is always fun. ASnd making him say scenes from "Napoleon Dynamite"
Stay home and eat all the freaking chips Kip!
Title: Re: Sam, are you alright?
Post by: Jack McSlay on September 02, 2006, 07:25:00 AM
something funny comes out if I type "Jack McSlay" in there for some reason he says "jack mcslahm" instead

this one somewhat makes him sing
kkkkk. k! k!  kkkkk . kkkkkkk j. j! j!  jjjjj. jjjjjjj h. h! h! hhhhh. hhhhhhh x. x! x! xxxxx. xxxxxxx q. q! q! qqqqq. qqqqqqq k. k! k!
Title: Re: Sam, are you alright?
Post by: Tapewolf on September 02, 2006, 01:07:37 PM
Okay, here's a recording for those not on Windows.  Sadly I forgot to bring either the Wikipedia page or this page from the forum, so the only good one I could remember was 'soy'.  I have not been able to make it say 'soy', even by spelling it 'soi'.  I haven't tried 'sawy' though - too late now.  It can say 'soil' and 'boy'.  But not 'soy' or 'soya'.

It can't handle 'ghoti' either - there was only one other speech synth which couldn't say it and I can't remember what it was.

It also insisted on pronouncing 'Goldwave' as 'Gold-lava' - seriously.  They sound identical.

http://www.jpmorris.force9.co.uk/music/sam.mp3

"jack mcslay"
"soy"  (schhhhhhhhh)
"soil"
"Two bottles of soy sauce"
"Three soya beans"
"Ambidextrous wildcats"
"antidisestablishmentarianism"
"ghoti fish"
"ooooo ooooo ooooo ooooo ooooo ooooo ooooo ooooo"
"aaaaaaaaaaaaaa"
"eeeeeeeeeeeeee"
"uuuuuuuuuuuuuu"
"iiiiiiiiiiiiii"
"oooooooooooooo"
"yyyyyyyyyyyyyy"
"So this is the best that L&H could offer.  No wonder they went bust."
"Goldwave"  (gold-lava)
Title: Re: Sam, are you alright?
Post by: Aridas on September 02, 2006, 01:56:06 PM
What're you talking a crack at L&H for? they didn't do anything >_>
Title: Re: Sam, are you alright?
Post by: Tapewolf on September 02, 2006, 02:06:47 PM
Quote from: Aridas Soulfire on September 02, 2006, 01:56:06 PM
What're you talking a crack at L&H for? they didn't do anything >_>

Didn't Microsoft buy the technology from them?  Or was that their speech recognition engine?
Title: Re: Sam, are you alright?
Post by: xHaZxMaTx on September 02, 2006, 03:03:53 PM
Wow, it can actually say pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.
Title: Re: Sam, are you alright?
Post by: Aridas on September 02, 2006, 03:05:19 PM
I don't know, but LH Michael and LH Michelle don't have the same quirks as Microsoft Sam. If they did, I'd guess it's because Sam was built differently. They don't all have to be the same because they use the same tech.
Title: Re: Sam, are you alright?
Post by: Leafar on September 02, 2006, 04:46:04 PM
Quote from: Rowne on September 01, 2006, 04:13:22 PM
That's true but I think Leafar and I were the only stalkers people that did, after all, look at the confusion that erupted in the P.A.Y. thread (or wherever it was) when he called you Sam.

actually, we went to a msn chatting where his name was wrote ''sam''... :)
Title: Re: Sam, are you alright?
Post by: Jack McSlay on September 03, 2006, 11:14:00 AM
poo ta keep a reel
vah toh mah no koo
feelio dah pootah

nasty expressions from my country :mwaha
Title: Re: Sam, are you alright?
Post by: Leafar on September 03, 2006, 11:15:46 AM
filho da puta e vai toma no cu? :3
Title: Re: Sam, are you alright?
Post by: Tapewolf on September 03, 2006, 11:21:06 AM
Uh, this is kind of why the mods go berserk when people use non-English phrases...
Title: Re: Sam, are you alright?
Post by: Leafar on September 03, 2006, 11:38:09 AM
BLAME JACK!!!!!!!! *points* >:3
Title: Re: Sam, are you alright?
Post by: Dakata on September 03, 2006, 11:43:27 AM
Bwah. I made Sam say "Watashi* no seiki wa chiisai desu". :3 It means "My genitals are small" in japanese...I think. XP

* - I had to spell it as 'Wa ta shi' 'cuz he can't say it right. D:

Poor, poor Sam...:3 Poor bot-voice-guy has a small "thingie." (which Sam cannot say right, unless you spell it "thingy". Thin-gee, whee!)

*Goes in the corner...again* :3
Title: Re: Sam, are you alright?
Post by: Jack McSlay on September 03, 2006, 03:48:55 PM
Quote from: Tapewolf on September 03, 2006, 11:21:06 AM
Uh, this is kind of why the mods go berserk when people use non-English phrases...
lol, I just post simply because it has no meaning to most people , besides, most don't make any deal about it, i've had teachers that spit bad words all the time during classes  :laugh

either way, this is non-nasty yet  very funny

aah tih rei o paoo no gahto hto, mas o gahto hto nah o mohell hell hell , doh na shee kah kah ahdeemeero oo seh seh, doh behrro, doh behrro keh oh gahto deh oo! meow!!
Title: Re: Sam, are you alright?
Post by: Leafar on September 03, 2006, 04:06:39 PM
hahaahahahahaaha seu babaca....de onde vc e hein?nordeste?