The reason I gathered you here is so that we can put our brains together and come up with a solution to the largest problem that plagues our kind: WE ARE GOING TO KILL SUPERMAN!!!
So... you already have your donuts, and my evil temp will be in for your drink orders soon. Would anyone like to start the discussion? Might I remind you that I've already told you all about our current Kryptonite shortage via e-mail, so you should know that we can't go the overkill route on this one, much as we would all like to.
Oh, and since this is one of the larger meetings we've had, I would think it nice of you all to state your name and specialty before you tell us of your plan.
Hi, my name is The Cargo-nator. My special power is my magical cargo pants, with which I can pull anything I summon out of.
It seems to me that without Kryptonite, taking out SuperMan may be a bit of a challenge. But I'm sure that we can find something out. ;)
*Takes bite outof donut*
I'm Itos Atio and I'm an observer.
My plan is to identify everyone who comes to this meeting and then kill them in their sleep.
Failing at that I will just eat the donuts provided. :mowcookie
Well, for those of you who do not know...
I am a specialist in organized crime. I've been against Superman ever since he took out my mob of stereotypical Italian teamsters. Eventually I worked my way up to this point here as President/CEO/Banker/Villain/Mayor/Scientist of my own evil corporation which I now call the Evil Energy Systems Inc. We mostly do evil things. Anyway, tonight you shall call me Dr. Ism.
The Cargo-nator wiped off any doughnut remnants that may have been left on his face and looked around the room. "Where the frick is everybody?! And we need more doughnuts!"
Superman killed my father, and raped my mother.
hello im the croc. my specialty?..... IM A F***IN CROCODILE! jeezuz throw me a g** d*** bone here people! anyway lets kid nap that broad he seems to oh so fond of....well make him do what WE want him to do. it msy not be killing him but what ever works....am i right?!? croc bites into a conut.
oh before i forget this is my apprentice dile lass. yeah shes my age but shes new to the game.
Quote from: valkyn on August 24, 2006, 10:37:38 AM
lets kid nap that broad he seems to oh so fond of....well make him do what WE want him to do. it msy not be killing him but what ever works....am i right?!?
We already tried that angle once... there was even a really nice dinosaur tank that had ice rays coming from its eyes, but we still failed.
Quote from: valkyn on August 24, 2006, 10:37:38 AM
oh before i forget this is my apprentice dile lass. yeah shes my age but shes new to the game.
No apprentices allowed at this meeting!
::shoots aprentice with laser pistol::
Next time I send you an E-mail, have one of your little aprentices read it for you so this doesn't happen again.
HEY... temp guy... get over here and clean up this mess. Use that green clean up stuff this time too; that's the cleaner for bodies.
HAY i was tappin that! ah well plenty other people want me show them the ropes anyway.
croc shifted his weight makeing that sound leather makes when it moves. how about moveint the "arena" to a diffrent solar system with a red dwarf or something of the like? we lure him there he finds out "oh noes my poworz are gone!" and he suffocates in the vacume of space.
"I'm Kio..." He says shyly, " I have the power to um...make my enemies say, "Awww..." and I can hear things ar away!" Then all of a sudden he gets bigger," I can suprise my enemies with my smaller self! I have super human strentgh!" kio says as he lifts something heavy with one finger.
I had no idea you were into bondage there croc... but enough about "the ropes."
You know, Superman can't breath in space anyway, so it's not like we have to get him in another edge of the universe to kill him like that. And do tell how it is you think we can just insist he go off to some planet where the sun is red.
...and Kio, put that body down, I already told the temp to clean it up...
Bah, Super Man can't breathe in space, but he has a lot of those stupid space suits. What we need to do is set up a trap he can't see right under his nose; a black hole.
"It already been attempted, and it ended with his krytonian enemies getting sucked in themselves." A voice comes from the shadow then drifts away.
*CN's skin crawls on the back of his neck and his fur stands on end* What the HELL was that?! :eek
"Hm," Something taps away at a computer as it dangles from the ceiling from a load of wires, "He's weak to kryptonite, but there must be other things. Heat doesn't seem to bother him, cold won't work because of those eye beams (unless we could find a proper reflective surface, as it has also been shown that he is vulnerable to the eye beams of another kryptonian), what of acid? I have no data on whether he's been subjected to anything that'll rip apart your very atoms upon exposure."
AY who are you and what is that youre ramblin on about!?!?
although rippin things apart is what i LOVE to do, atom by atom you say? sounds painful....lets give it a whirl!
Big Kio raises his hand. "I'll volunteer to distract Superman while you guys do that!" Kio turns small again, "Or maybe we could just trick him into a machine that separates his DNA from his body, making his body normal and useless. Then we can split the DNA so we can all have powers. I CALL FLYING!"
"Most of this has already been attempted." A woman says from a corner of the room, where she'd been pretty much silent. "The only weakness of his that we've learnt of so far is that kryptonite business, which, as said, there's a shortage of, and that Lois Lane. Kidnapping her will only drive him into attacking us an attempting a 'heroic rescue'" She stifles a laugh. "As will threatening her life. Killing her will have a similar effect, so we leave the girl out of it."
"Hm, I wonder how spell resistant he is. Not like he's had to face down that many magic users. Mostly its aliens with freaky powers, but nothing magical, like that Circe woman who changed her victims into loyal animals."
The gleam of a pair of shades comes from the mess of wires, along with a cheshire grin, "Coke Rommer, elemental shapeshifter, and all around genius inventor."
*CN brings up a manilla folder and unfolds it exposing it's contents on the table* I've done a little research, and havn't really come up with anything along the lines of weaknesses, but it seems the Super d00d has countless powers I'd never even heard of. However, it seems he's quite vulnerable to magic or 'super-science' as stated by Mr. Rammer, here. This could be in our favor.
"ROMMER, damn it, with an accent over the O. I have a few spellcaster associates, one is very good at evocation and healing, the other tends towards transmutation. You'd be surprised at how easily the unprotected person's flesh could be twisted and ripped, but that is for one of low fortitude and control over their body. While his constitution seems endless, his will seems easy to sway. A little mind control and he could become a puppet to experiment upon, or simply send into the nearest black hole."
(ooc: Rammer sounds so much better...)
*A charred, smoking delivery driver walks into the light at the center of the room.*
"I have an order for one million six hundred thousand and six point six nine eight five pizzas... where do you want them and who is paying for them? Five of them are made with the souls of the living, one with living babies and the rest are sausage and peperoni."
lucas looks around and points at the dilivery boy, bent elbowed and under handed. "w wh who are you and how the HELL did you get through that defence grid?"
oh and rOmmer just so ya know. i come from the bayou. the voodoo is at my disposal, and unlike other forms of magic its much easier to control, hurt, and kill, because its an unformed magic. more a bunch of superstitions and beliefs.
"Magic, eh? Damn. I'm not very good when it comes to that...." She muttered, but shook her head and looked back up. "I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Kate." She offers up to anyone listening.
She glances up at Coke. "Super-science, eh?"
"I say we drop a ton of kryptonite on his ass"
yo new guy pay attention, we aint got none!! if you were listening you would have picked up on that! *croc chucks his half eaten doughnut at the new guys forehead*
"hey now! that's a waste of a perfectly good Doughnut!" Kate reprimanded croc, brushing a bit of hair behind her ear.
"Even though somehow Jimmy Olsen could find it by the truckload." Coke comments, "Eh, he was as much of a dick as Superman himself."
Delivery person drops the several tons of pizza and bends down to "cut" a quarter of the light, as if he was piecing out a pizza. He reconsiders and instead cuts the light on the floor in half, holding up the effect as if the photons were a solid piece of matter.
"Do you know how much I can get for pure light in some dimensions? This will do as payment." He points to the solid air as if gesturing to something in particular, an interdimensional hall in actuality, "you should be able to find some kryptonite... well, about... Three doors down. Next delivery... Darkside... oh joy."
The delivery person disappears.
*rubs his head and walks away*
"I say, we invite him to supper and then...um...um...we...umm...GIVE HIM NO DESSERT!" Big Kio says, as he is dumb, but strong.
a clocked figuer walks in askinge "am i too late"
croc looks at the new people "no youre ot too late..."
croc was getting tired of going in circles.
oh by the way, azlan nice three doors down reference. havent listened to their songs in who knows how long...
"Okay, I got another idea! We take him! and then stick him in a room full of robotic girls! They should have poision gas~!" Big Kio says referring to Austin Powers.
Kate sighed, exasperated at Kio. "How old -are- you?" She asked.
sighs waiting for the next sugestion if any of theses people succed he would win in the end
"It worked on that Lobo fella, not sure about Superman. Any recollections of him passing through poison gases without harm? I remember he saved a guy from a gas chamber once, but he was in and out in less than a second."
CN shuffled through his stack of papers. "Well, I didn't see anything about poisonous gas, but I would assume that it's benine, if one of his weaknesses is specified as 'super-science.'"
thans ans almost anything kyption. form cyrstals to the suns radation.
"Look, magic isn't super science, though I've met people who have supposedly broken its working down to a science. The fact is, magic and science, such as technology, are two things that are capable of combination, and there is so much I don't think has been explored in what works and what doesn't. Has he ever faced the life draining powers of a necromancer?"
yes he has. just like when he faced the wail of a banshee. the proble is just when i think he's dead he coems back. the deathlike coma after dooms day was the coloest i can recall outsider of darkside
"Okay forget my idea...Maybe we should hypnotize him, make him think everyone that isn't a bad guy is a bad guy. And everyon that is is a good guy!" Big Kio, 30, syas. Little Kio is 6.
didn't wonder woman break the neck of the late person that took control of super man?
"Perhaps, but then again the people I have in mind aren't so easy to break. My alien friend as actually quite flexible, and would probably have Wonder Woman in her coils before miss bondage could even take out her lasso."
"okay next idea...We get people to diss him?" Big Kio asked, out of ideas.
looks a kio. "okay that one is starting to concern me. also he works together with some many others so we need to isolate him. hime like doomes day did. as flexable are you man is that still have plastic man and no one is sure how powerful that nut job is. you kill you probably need the melt him in th sun."
"we have so many ideas how about TESTING a few!" croc said growing more bored by the second.
i shall support the general vote but Croc has a point
I say we do what Croc says, but let's start by testing something messy on one of the less usefull people here. That would be nice, even if it in no way simulates an encounter with Superman. Croc... you and Coke Rommer are to set up some of this magic business. Feel free to use Kio in your demonstration.
Yes... this could be a good show... I'll expect something when we meet next week.
[cut forward to the next meeting (one week from now)]
So... Croc and Coke... how are you going to entertain me today?
"We could test that acid. You want it it PH 0 or PH 14, your choice."
"Hey, wait a minute! Why am I the test dummy?!" Big Kio asked finally.
"Weeding out the rejects, and this is the weed killer."
checks his list and Kio is not on it for today.
Quote from: Manawolf on September 03, 2006, 03:27:06 AM
"We could test that acid. You want it it PH 0 or PH 14, your choice."
They both sound good, but I would have expected you to have made the decision by now.
shakes his head and places his hand on his pole only to leave it be.
"Fine," Coke smashes the bottle against kio's head, "Happy?"
"This is all very entertaining, but we aren't really accomplishing anything, here," said CN with a grin on his face.
look. kyptionie , red solar radation, high end techonolgy and the enegry know as magie are ll higly effect alone. lets put them together
"Red Solar radiation only neutralizes his powers, we don't have kryptonite, and we're still figuring out which kind of magic to use."
it also drains him over time. his body is like a capacitor but tell me this. if he is no longer invulnerable how many ways are there to kill him?
croc points at kio "watch" he lights a small fire in a mini culdren he brought and throws in some of kio's fur, some greenish blue moss and a pice of skin from an older man.
and kio started to age rapidly before everyones eyes.
"ph0 would be an acid but ph 14 is a base.... as a man of science i thought you would have known that..."
"Trust me, either way it'll burn your skin off. Pure Water is ph7, and moving the farthest away from that number gets you a highly corrosive concoction."
the cloaked figure sighs checking his list again. "oddly enough i don't thin that super man ages past middle age as long as he's under a yellow sun and his people have and average life span under a red sun of over 800 years.
"you do not know the extent of my power...observe."
kio must have been in his hundres by now. "it keeps going till i SAY so. and if it ages them this fast...then eight hundred is nothing"
croc snuffed out the fire by placeing his hand on the opening of the culdren. he then emptied the pot and started a new fire this time he used a young womans skin. and kio started growing younger and started to grow boobs.
thats 800 under a red sun. under a yellow sun he could live billions of years. the yellow sun charges his and makes him invulnerable. this slows cell deterioration and speeds regeneration. he could likely go a little grey the remain that way as you advance him a billion years or more (this is the gold age super that that went through that. expilly in the three books that made up red son"
"I hope I'm not too late," a scientist says, walking through a side door. He had a white lab-coat, black-rimmed glasses, and a plethora of pens in his pockets. He was a lean, medium-tall man, with bright orange hair that was slightly spiked. He pushed up his glasses using his index finger and sat down in an empty seat. "I had a hard time checking my e-mail. So what's the latest plan?" he asked, folding his hands together, bringing them up to his chin, and leaning on his elbows against the table.
"Hey! I don't want to be a girl! Turn me back!" Kio says.
the cloaked figure groans. "your not a gain you're 214 years old and getting older while that acid tries to over come your regeneration to dissolve your flesh and bones. or was that the strong base?" starts to wonder if kio is kin to block buster or Grundy.
"I TOLD YOU, IT DOESN'T MATTER. Acids and bases will be just as dissolvant if they are strong enough. They make oven cleaners out of basic chemicals weaker than this. You also get an interesting, though unpredictable and volatile, reaction if you mix them."
Smashes other vial against Kio's head.
the cloaked figuer shruged. "i was just curious. i know my basice chemistery as well you know"
croc was in the middle of turning kio back when an elbow knocked over his cauldren putting out the fire. this put kio in the middle of the transition.
"sorry kid im out of my ingredents looks like youll have to stay that way till my supplier can get ahold of some more."
groans. "at this rate i'll bee 1,000 years before any of thers people come close the the goal"
Feeling ignored, the scientist pulled out a small scroll with all sorts of plans written on it. He looked over the sheet, making himself at home by folding his legs and pulling out a pen from behind his ear. Making changes in his plans was a crucial step in making the plans' chances of success higher.
As the alkaline and acidic chemicals mixed, a bright light flash and an explosion exuded from Kio. Coke pulls from himself from the resulting rubble, and looks onward while the smoke clears.
"Well, he can be anything from vaporized to an ooze (possibly still alive). Hard to tell, I never mixed those two before."
The scientist's glasses rattled with the explosion. He looked up from what he was doing, but only shook his head in disapproval. "Pftt....Why not just use cellulose nitrate, nitroglycerin, and nitroglycol and be done with him?" he muttered to himself. "At least that would put the poor slob out of misery...," he said under his breath, still reviewing his carefully formatted plans.
the cloaked figure sighs "thats may work though i don't think he was slated to die this day" he is standing unruffled as is expected for even a full force punch form superman has failed to faze let alone budge him though it caused massive damages to the plantion they were on. still he could not act directly against the man or Stael until his time came to pass over,
"If you aren't going to contribute, then move along. This is the conference for the elimination of the man of Superdickery, not his fanclub."
i can make sugers evne find itmes but i am not allows to harm his phyisils untl he is already dead. thats what i think that red sunlasn would word well. if you mank his mortla that any thing can kill him. i know that strengst and weaksnesm of most beings and that would be god is too anoying wiht his action to be premeins with his reckles aciosn. reveing tims for godness skasn is he out of his mind?
*shakes his head and pull a second scroll with weaksin od the mornon of steel". lets see gold kyption makes him mortlan and supposed not be undone. yeah right as if.. there must be some way to keep his dead. wait that could work! are this any telepoters here?
"Eww..I'm alll oozzzyyyy!" Kio said, sounding totally differnt.
"well that was fun but maybe we should try these ideas on the man of steel himself. and atleast three of us should stay behind incase nothing works and he throws us in jail to bust us out again."
The scientist finally stood up after careful review of his plans. "I think I may have the solution, gentlemen," he said with a cocky grin on his face. He unravelled the scroll a bit more, showing huge schematic schemes and plans-a-plenty. He picked the scroll up by one end and cleared his throat.
"Now, we have all seen what weakens the man o' steel, but we have never really combined all of those elements. In order to complete this plan, we'll require many contributers to the cause. If you think you're all willing and ready to retrieve or bring in a few strange powers or items, then this plan could very well be that of Superman's destruction...."
i can reterinve the most dangerous items even if they lie in the heart of a star.
The scientist closed his eyes and considered everything he needed to complete his plan. Even if all of the materials were collected, there'd be a lot of work in building such a device. Everyone would either lose interest or rebel by then.
"Hmmm....," he pondered, taking his seat again. "Does anyone else in this faculty have any more ideas? I'm curious to find out just what you all think is an appropriate way to finally rid ourselves of this nuisance."
i say we need to lure him into a trap spring red solar radiation laps on him and then drown him, gut him and behead hims after that you can stuff his body full of Kryptonite and throw him in a black hole for all i care.
but if thats too complex then you could, if you have a teleporter, send his to qawd and attack him there were the anti monitor bend the rules of physics as you know them remember the anti monitor nearly beat him to death in his youth.
"Don't tell me we're trying an 'attack from all angles at once' plan? Those always backfire. You got to go with one or two things that work and stick with them."
nods i know but those are two serpate ideals that may work. you know what saves superman a lot? his friends if we are going to send him to the after life he must be serpated form them as well. i remember his reaction of the mosn when it was steel turn to die.