The Clockwork Mansion

The Grand Hallway => The Outer Fortress => Topic started by: Brunhidden on May 14, 2008, 09:51:39 AM

Title: No jedi is safe....
Post by: Brunhidden on May 14, 2008, 09:51:39 AM
Some of you may know that in Brittan its legal to list your religion as 'jedi knight', and a few of you may know that almost a full one percent of all britts list jedi as their religion on census polls.

what some of you may not know is that they're in danger!

it seems a man, not a member of the church, dressed up as darth vader, using a garbage bag for a cape, and then proceeded to beat the tar out of a jedi master who lead a congregation of 70 jedi. the beating was accidentally caught on tape with a camera some of the younger knights set up to videotape themselves in lightsabre duels, which is a good thing as the man in question does not remember beating anyone, having consumed the better part of a 2.5 gallon box of wine beforehand



wheres yoda when you need him?
Title: Re: No jedi is safe....
Post by: Jigsaw Forte on May 14, 2008, 11:07:09 AM
What, no source?

Use the source, Luke!
Title: Re: No jedi is safe....
Post by: Darkmoon on May 14, 2008, 02:03:57 PM
Seriously. Reference: 0/10.
Title: Re: No jedi is safe....
Post by: bill on May 14, 2008, 03:24:41 PM
cool news man
Title: Re: No jedi is safe....
Post by: Zina on May 14, 2008, 04:07:30 PM
Requesting video of said event.
Title: Re: No jedi is safe....
Post by: Joe3210 on May 14, 2008, 05:50:47 PM
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,355268,00.html
or
http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/europe/05/13/britain.vader.ap/
or
www.google.com :B

Quote
HOLYHEAD, Wales —  A man who dressed up as Darth Vader, wearing a garbage bag for a cape, and assaulted the founders of a group calling itself the Jedi church was given a suspended sentence Tuesday.

Arwel Wynne Hughes, 27, attacked Jedi church founder Barney Jones — aka Master Jonba Hehol — with a metal crutch, hitting him on the head, prosecutors told Holyhead Magistrates' Court.

He also whacked Jones' 18-year-old cousin, Michael Jones — known as Master Mormi Hehol — bruising his thigh in the March 25 incident, prosecutors said.

The two cousins and Barney Jones' brother, Daniel, set up the Church of Jediism, Anglesey order, last year. Jedi is the faith followed by some of the central characters in the "Star Wars" films.

The group, which claims about 30 members, says on its Web site that it uses "insight and knowledge" from the films as "a guide to living a better and more worthwhile life."

"We all love the films and what they stand for. Obviously some people are going to laugh about it," the Wales on Sunday newspaper quoted Barney Jones as saying last month. "But a lot of people do take it seriously."

Unfortunately for Hughes, his March attack was recorded on a video camera that the cousins had set up to film themselves in a light saber battle.

"Darth Vader! Jedis!" Hughes shouted as he approached.

Hughes claimed he couldn't remember the incident, having drunk the better part of a 2 1/2-gallon box of wine beforehand.

"He knows his behavior was wrong and didn't want it to happen but he has no recollection of it," said Hughes' lawyer, Frances Jones.

District Judge Andrew Shaw sentenced Hughes to two months in jail but suspended the sentence for one year. He also ordered Hughes to pay $195 to each of his victims and $117 in court costs.

In the 2001 United Kingdom census, 390,000 — 0.7 percent of the population — listed Jedi as their religion.

I couldn't find the video.  I'll try again in a few days.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9LHjL5EvfKs
Title: Re: No jedi is safe....
Post by: llearch n'n'daCorna on May 14, 2008, 06:22:35 PM
Obviously these masters weren't very strong in the Force, were they, if they didn't see this coming...


;-]
Title: Re: No jedi is safe....
Post by: techmaster-glitch on May 14, 2008, 06:27:03 PM
"Blind we are, if attack of this drunk Vader-wannabe, we could not see."
"I think it is time to inform the British Parliament that our ability to use Force never existed, and that we have been voting under a made-up religion."
"If informed the Parliament is, multiply, the drunk Vader-wannabes will."
:)
Title: Re: No jedi is safe....
Post by: Alondro on May 14, 2008, 07:01:21 PM
Well duh.

The Jedi in the newer films were pretty stupid and shortsighted, if you ask me.  :P
Title: Re: No jedi is safe....
Post by: techmaster-glitch on May 14, 2008, 07:23:22 PM
Quote from: Alondro on May 14, 2008, 07:01:21 PM
Well duh.

The Jedi in the newer films were pretty stupid and shortsighted, if you ask me.  :P
I remember hearing a theory that, at the time, they were suffering from Conservation of Ninjitsu (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ConservationOfNinjitsu) with the Force, because they had a whole Order looking after the entire Republic, while the Sith was made up of a single mastermind plus Expendable minions (http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/241489). Thus, the soon-to-be-Emperor had power enough to mask all of his activities, and even his very true identity at point-blank range.
Title: Re: No jedi is safe....
Post by: Brunhidden on May 14, 2008, 08:17:58 PM
Quote from: Jigsaw Forte on May 14, 2008, 11:07:09 AM
What, no source?

Use the source, Luke!

apologies, i usually dont list sources because immediately thereafter someone tries to discredit them, or make fun of me reading a newspaper

if you really must know i read this on the Wii news channel





what really is icing on the cake is that vader was beating the man with crutches, thats just ludicrous
Title: Re: No jedi is safe....
Post by: rabid_fox on May 15, 2008, 03:37:51 AM

Bloody Welsh.
Title: Re: No jedi is safe....
Post by: llearch n'n'daCorna on May 15, 2008, 03:39:26 AM
The question is, whose crutches?

If his own, sure. If someone else's, that's another matter entirely.
Title: Re: No jedi is safe....
Post by: Turnsky on May 15, 2008, 06:09:27 AM
Quote from: llearch n'n'daCorna on May 14, 2008, 06:22:35 PM
Obviously these masters weren't very strong in the Force, were they, if they didn't see this coming...


;-]

their lack of faith was disturbing.