This I have decided.
edit note: Paperwooooooooork! *claw-hand*
Take your time sweety and rock hard :kirby
Only if you're ready, Amber.
Only do it if you can handle it. I just went through the death of a friend (canoeing accident), and it was hard updating my webcomic. Take your time, Amber, we'll understand if you need more time, especially with the gravity of your loss. Just remember, we love you. <3
Oh trust me, I was ready to update on Wednesday. (When I get stressed, the comic doubles as a release from worrying) While I am severely unhappy and depressed in some regards, the main reason I had to put the comic on hold was sheer paperwork hassle.
Quick rundown:
Of the kids my father raised, I was his only biological one. My sister and my step sister are both from different dads. Meaning that since he passed on, I am at the time the only blood-relative that can be tracked down. Meaning that the permission to cremate, the rights to his belongings, and all the various documentations fell into my lap. Did you know it costs around $1300 to cremate someone in Florida? I just recently did.
Not to mention there has been an issue that the landlady told the hospital that her and my dad were married and he had no family. And now she currently is holding onto his stuff and not letting my step-sister and her mom near it. She has claimed that she will hand it over to me...but I dont really know if taking a trip for a highly used van and some tools is worth it.
This is, of course, also because if I sign anything and it turns out my dad has any outsanding debts...they could fall right onto me. And with me dealing with immigration as is...the last thing I really want/need is a large debt hitting me out of the blue.
Ignoring that, there has been the issue that my dad wished to be cremated and have his ashes scattered on the beach. So lets just say that once he gets his service, visitation hours are over. It has been pretty much decided that I wont be able to make that. Financially, emotionally, and just all in all physically impossible to do within less than a weeks time.
Honestly...I am let down...but I am far from crushed. Which sounds terrible, and I feel bad that it does. But when it all boils down to it...I have to realize this: I tried really hard to find my dad after Katrina hit, and got nothing. For over three years I was not sure if he was alive or dead. Then less than 24 hours after he did die, someone from his side of things contacted me. It was apparently really easy to find me so I can only wonder if he just didnt try in all those years he was missing.
In some ways, it is kind of hard to truly mourn...not to mention I havent even had TIME to sit and really think about it since everyone is somewhat counting on me.
I loved my dad...but I sadly and honestly cannot tell if I will miss him because I have missed him for so long already and in a way...its like he has been dead for three years already.
Man that sounds morbid and depressing.
Quote from: Amber Williams on April 27, 2008, 01:06:51 AM
Man that sounds morbid and depressing.
I dunno, I think that's pretty normal, actually. Like when my grandpa died it was pretty much a non-even to me, because he'd already been in the hospital and non-really-there mentally for so long that it wasn't much of a change. In your case, even more so.
In any case, I certainly hope the paperwork doesn't drive you to the point that you'd want to add someone else's funeral to the list...
Glad to hear you're ok, though. As far as things go, at least.
Quote from: Amber Williams on April 27, 2008, 01:06:51 AM
Oh trust me, I was ready to update on Wednesday. (When I get stressed, the comic doubles as a release from worrying) While I am severely unhappy and depressed in some regards, the main reason I had to put the comic on hold was sheer paperwork hassle.
Quick rundown:
Of the kids my father raised, I was his only biological one. My sister and my step sister are both from different dads. Meaning that since he passed on, I am at the time the only blood-relative that can be tracked down. Meaning that the permission to cremate, the rights to his belongings, and all the various documentations fell into my lap. Did you know it costs around $1300 to cremate someone in Florida? I just recently did.
Not to mention there has been an issue that the landlady told the hospital that her and my dad were married and he had no family. And now she currently is holding onto his stuff and not letting my step-sister and her mom near it. She has claimed that she will hand it over to me...but I dont really know if taking a trip for a highly used van and some tools is worth it.
This is, of course, also because if I sign anything and it turns out my dad has any outsanding debts...they could fall right onto me. And with me dealing with immigration as is...the last thing I really want/need is a large debt hitting me out of the blue.
Ignoring that, there has been the issue that my dad wished to be cremated and have his ashes scattered on the beach. So lets just say that once he gets his service, visitation hours are over. It has been pretty much decided that I wont be able to make that. Financially, emotionally, and just all in all physically impossible to do within less than a weeks time.
Honestly...I am let down...but I am far from crushed. Which sounds terrible, and I feel bad that it does. But when it all boils down to it...I have to realize this: I tried really hard to find my dad after Katrina hit, and got nothing. For over three years I was not sure if he was alive or dead. Then less than 24 hours after he did die, someone from his side of things contacted me. It was apparently really easy to find me so I can only wonder if he just didnt try in all those years he was missing.
In some ways, it is kind of hard to truly mourn...not to mention I havent even had TIME to sit and really think about it since everyone is somewhat counting on me.
I loved my dad...but I sadly and honestly cannot tell if I will miss him because I have missed him for so long already and in a way...its like he has been dead for three years already.
Man that sounds morbid and depressing.
not really, i can really understand you in this regard, i looked after my grandmother whilst she had cancer treatment, after 9 months or so, she did die, and i was the one who first found out, to be honest i wasn't nearly as upset as i'd thought i'd be, because it felt like i had already said goodbye to her long ago. So i know how you feel, i really do. :hug
Quote from: Amber Williams on April 27, 2008, 01:06:51 AM
I loved my dad...but I sadly and honestly cannot tell if I will miss him because I have missed him for so long already and in a way...its like he has been dead for three years already.
Man that sounds morbid and depressing.
Well, my grandmother was kind of like that. As with Cameron, she wasn't really there at the end so it was rather like she'd already died by the time the end came.
My mother on the other hand... while I knew she was very sick, she'd bounced back before and when she suddenly died in the night it was a tremendous blow to us all.
So yeah, there are far more morbid things...
That debt thing could wind up being huge. Look into that if at all possible before signing anything.
Amber, the only problem you should have with debt is that any assets your father has will have to go towards his outstanding debt (leaving you with nothing to inherit), not that you will actually be held responsible for them. That doesn't mean you shouldn't continue to look into it, because different states might have different laws, but it shouldn't be a problem.
What you may need to worry about is having to retain an attorney if you plan on claiming your father's possessions, especially if he didn't leave a will. When there's no will and no surviving spouse, the state will seize the estate.
This sort of thing is fairly common, but I am very confident that it'll all work out in your favor eventually.
-Seth
There really is no estate to seize. From what I have been told by several sources, my dad lived alone in a rented room that an elderly lady would rent out to various folks. The only things he has that are of "worth" would be an old van and some tools...everything else was lost in Katrina and it sounds like he never really bothered to start over.
Apparently he had a life insurance policy...that only had $100 invested in it.
Which is the reason I am being cautious in regards to outsanding debts because honestly...from what it sounds like my dad had absolutely no income and even if the government did liquidate everything he has, they likely wont be getting more than $200 from it all.
Geez, that sounds pretty much like what'll happen when my parents die. All they have is debt.
Illegals who know how to play the system make out better than citizens these days. :/
Nevertheless, make sure you have an attorney with you when it comes to put ink to paper.
Preferably one that also has a black belt. :mwaha
You might try seeing if there is an American Consulate in the city where you are. (I'm not sure if you are in a major city or not. Handling these types of situations is a major responsibility of the consulates.) As far as picking up items in Florida, I would imagine that you could sign a power of attorney limited to picking up your father's effects and send it to your relatives. The landlady may be worried about legal liability if she hands it to somebody else. Or somebody may be trying to get you to assume some debts.
The only other advice is to take it easy and not place additional strain on yourself. You have my condolences with regard to your situation.
I'm not quite sure what else to say.
meowch... I wish I could do more than sit here...
it's times like these that i really want to go to law school... anyways i hope you feel okay, i pretty much know how you feel, three of my grandparents have died in the past ten years, i never knew them much so it didn't hit as hard as i thought it would. really the best advice that i can give is to not think too much about it, it gets too depressing.
anyways i hope you start to have some good luck in your life for once, and personally i can wait a few days before the next comic.
Take your time with this.
Glad to hear you're getting back in the swing of things, still be sure that updating is something you want to do not something you feel obligated to. We're more then willing to wait, and those that aren't can blow. Not much else to say that others didn't beat me to so hope things work out for ya.
My grandmother on my mother's side died almost 3 months ago...
My aunt is still dealing with the inheritance paperwork.
Laws anymore are only made to make lawyers richer.
KILL THE LAWYER!!! :mob
My paternal grandmother passed peacefully in October, just a month from celebrating her (and my brother's) birthday. Maternal grandmother is still with us at 95, busy crocheting rag rugs for all her great grandchildren. Both grandfathers are gone several years ago.
Yeah I hate funnerals :grave too. I've had relitives die... they suck
Sorry to hear about your loss, Amber.
I lost my father recently too... Accidental overdose...
They didn't find him for a week... :/
It came as a shock to us all... But I can probably count the number of tears I shed on one hand...
I decided that, "Well, He's gone... He wouldn't want me crying my eyes out over him"
My mother was devastated though... I kind of became the rock that my family had to lean on for support...
Hopefully, everything will turn out for the best.
Good luck to you, And yes, paperwork IS the new style of haunting.
I think the comic will be a good distraction from everything. :)
Have some fun to take you mind off everything for a time. ;)
We are all hear for you :mowhappy
Take your time. My grate uncle had died over spring vacation.
I was divested but I talked it out with my friends and I was ok after that.
Just remember talking to others is the best Medicine for something like this.
My father has been gradually weakening for several years. I just came back from his funeral (about 2,000 miles from my home) a couple of days ago. God bless my mother, who cared for him up to the end. Married more than 60 years. I'll be flying out to visit her again in about a month. You do what you can with what you've got.
He'd served in the military, so she's got a flag from his coffin on the mantel. His sons and daughters were given little eagle-with-American-flag statues that had been attached to the corners of dad's coffin. On the bottom of my statue, there's a sticker that says "Made in China". That kind of took the honor right out of it for me.
I didn't tell my mother about that sticker. I don't think she'd want to know.
My, that avatar looks familiar, Uncle Attic Rat. Gosh, I'm sorry to hear about your father. I buried mine in 1989 and it still affects me. Please accept my condolences.
Amber, there's not much long-distance folks can do beyond offering positive thoughts, prayers, and good wishes. However, if there's something concrete that you would find helpful, please say so.
-Old Wolf