The Clockwork Mansion

The Grand Hallway => Tower of Art => Topic started by: ShiningShadow on April 12, 2008, 07:08:48 PM

Title: [Story] I have a story in Fanfiction
Post by: ShiningShadow on April 12, 2008, 07:08:48 PM
I just put up a story in http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4088213/1/Futures_Past (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4088213/1/Futures_Past) If you are interested just go there and take a look and comment or critique it. Tell me what's wrong with it and I will fix it up and make it a better story. Right now this is my first story and read it for yourself and get back to me. Thanks again everybody.
Title: Re: I have a story in Fanfiction
Post by: llearch n'n'daCorna on April 12, 2008, 07:47:22 PM
You really should pay attention, ShiningShadow.

Title: Re: [Story] I have a story in Fanfiction
Post by: WhiteFox on April 12, 2008, 11:04:51 PM
I'd start with presentation. Clean up your run on sentences, punctuation, capitals. Make sure everything is in past tense. Some of the phrasing sounds really weird too, you might want to revise some of the wording.
Title: Re: [Story] I have a story in Fanfiction
Post by: ShiningShadow on April 15, 2008, 08:00:14 PM
sorry I will fix that.