Yes, you read that right. (http://www.slashfilm.com/2008/04/06/uwe-boll-will-quit-making-movies-with-one-million-signatures/) There's a petition going around (it's already topped 100,000 signatures) asking Uwe Boll to stop making the cinematic abortions he likes to call movies. The petition itself can be found here (http://www.petitiononline.com/RRH53888/petition.html).
Granted, I've never seen one, but from everything I've read, I'm glad I haven't. I think these movies might actually make people physically ill. And also, this is the guy that had challenged his critics to a boxing match in order to prove his movies are, in fact, good. (http://blog.wired.com/games/2006/09/uwe_boll_wins_b.html?entry_id=1552601)
i'm sure he will follow through
I've never heard of the dude or seen any of the movies named in the article, but I love the boxing match idea. That's just fantastically manly.
Quote from: rabid_fox on April 08, 2008, 06:37:23 PM
I've never heard of the dude or seen any of the movies named in the article, but I love the boxing match idea. That's just fantastically manly.
Not really he only challenged people that had no fighting skills. He was gonna challenge some guy on G4 but then found out the guy had studied Muai Thai Kickboxing and backed out.
Does this mean mike tyson can make as many Hel-begotten films as he darned well pleases?
you know I've never seen one either ...He's the guy that made the blood rain, movie and alone in the dark. correct.
who couldn't tell from the previews that they wouldn't suck?
EDIT:
If Blood RAYNE was so bad, how is it he managed to get funding for two sequels?
Quote from: GabrielsThoughts on April 09, 2008, 02:18:09 PM
If Blood RAYNE was so bad, how is it he managed to get funding for two sequels?
I've heard a few people saying that it was some kind of loophole, where people could write off large amounts of tax by 'investing' money into a known bad film. Supposedly they weren't liable for tax if/when the film tanked.
Time to clean up some trash. *signs the petition*
don't be too hasty. watch one of his movies with director commentary before passing judgment
Quote from: mew on April 09, 2008, 05:40:54 PM
don't be too hasty. watch one of his movies with director commentary before passing judgment
Umm yeah, it doesn't matter. He picks games that are popular then basically uses their title, a few popular characters from said game then basically writes a script that doesn't really have hardly anything to do with the game. No amount of decent commentary could make up for that.
Quote from: mew on April 09, 2008, 05:40:54 PM
don't be too hasty. watch one of his movies with director commentary before passing judgment
Oh, believe me, I'm not being hasty. I work at a video store, I've seen too much crap from him.
to me, really bad movies are only bad as long as you haven't learn to laugh of how bad it may be
All I can say is..Good riddens to bad rubish
coudlnt they put effort into making more of the fun kind of bad movie? like attack of the kilelr tomatoes and the newer one named shoot em up
Quote from: Jack McSlay on April 09, 2008, 09:04:42 PM
to me, really bad movies are only bad as long as you haven't learn to laugh of how bad it may be
In the case of Uwe Boll, unless you're an experienced fighter, he'll literally punch you in the teeth for laughing at his movies.
Quote from: Ryudo Lee on April 10, 2008, 09:11:29 AM
Quote from: Jack McSlay on April 09, 2008, 09:04:42 PM
to me, really bad movies are only bad as long as you haven't learn to laugh of how bad it may be
In the case of Uwe Boll, unless you're an experienced fighter, he'll literally punch you in the teeth for laughing at his movies.
BRING IT ON BEEEYATCH!!! I would SO whoop his butt!
No one fights better than a crazy ultra-right-wing Republican after filling on beer and NASCAR! >:O
*in which case Bill would be the champ!* :giggle
I have been living with the fear that Uwe Boll will make a Phoenix Wright movie.
Get those one million signatures, pronto, before my fear becomes reality. :<
~Keaton the Black Jackal
I like Uwe Boll because he makes people cry after ruining their video games "great storylines"
Quote from: BillBuckner on April 10, 2008, 10:21:15 AM
I like Uwe Boll because he makes people cry after ruining their video games "great storylines"
Maybe he should make a movie about the Pirates baseball team. It's about a game too, right? >:3
If it was about Dock Ellis and LSD i would totally watch that movie
ooh if Chuck Norris stared in Halo3 as master cheif...there is no way the movie would suck. because chuck would take control at the first sign of...
From [Wikipedia] (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uwe_boll):
Retort
Uwe Boll has released a video stating that he is "the only genius in the whole f**king [movie] business" and that other directors such as Michael Bay and Eli Roth are "f**king retards". He promises that his upcoming film Postal will be "way better than all that social-critic George Clooney bullsh*t that you get every f**king weekend." He has also expressed hopes that somebody will start a Pro-Uwe Boll petition, which he is sure will hit a million signatures.
No idea who the guy is (Which is why I wiki'd him), but that was funny.
Quote from: bill on April 10, 2008, 10:21:15 AM
I like Uwe Boll because he makes people cry after ruining their video games "great storylines"
Some of them really
do have great storylines. There's a reason the
Metal Gear fans were horrified at the prospect of Uwe Boll getting his hands on the franchise.
I haven't played most of the games he's adapted, but I do know that while
Alone in the Dark didn't have the most epic of plotlines... well, just read this excerpt from an article by two guys who wrote a script for it, and subsequently got Boll-ized.
QuoteIt was a mess. We knew we were in a terrible situation, and had written a script that was only going to confuse this poor guy. He kept asking us why the character in our script "Alone in the Dark," Edward Carnby, didn't have any special powers to battle monsters. We explained that the story revolved around suspense and a believable detective, based off the game. He replied by telling us he wanted to blatantly rip-off characters, as well as the tone of the films "Blade" and "The Crow." Here are some actual quotes from e-mails directly from the cinematic mastermind Uwe Boll himself in 2002:
Edward is not mysterious and does business as usual – which destroys his entire heroism – his entire reputation built up by the game, would be DESTROYED by this film. Edward has to be mysterious like in THE CROW and BLADE, he has to have special abilities and weapons and no normal BACKSTORY!!!
What isn't much use are grave things: the dialogue, Edward's Character and the story per se. IT IS GOOD THAT H IS NOT A SUPERNATURAL SUPERHERO - BUT HE CANNOT BE ALSO TOO NORMAL - HE IS A LONELY HERO.
You don't have big screenplay experience and after my bad experience on House Of Dead, I need a Top Script now. Your first script wasn't that. I want to be scared, intelligent, not boring, packed and surprising at the end.
He wanted us to add "big gun battles" and "car chases." You know, all the things that make horror movies scary, particularly movies that revolve around suspense. We kept arguing with him about how to actually tell a scary story, as it became apparent he had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. A big point of contention was the monsters; he wanted tons of big, slimy, dog-looking CG monsters all over the story, while we kept repeating it was far scarier to keep them in the dark - hey, what do you know, kinda like the title - and build suspense. We tried to use the (at the time) recent film "Signs" to explain this to him, but everything seemed to bounce right off the guy. Boll then went off on a rant that should rank as one of the most confusing arguments ever in history.
WE MUST KNOW A LITTLE MORE ABOUT ALL THIS . LOOK in SIGNS THE AUDIENCE KNOWS THAT THE ALIENS WANTS TO DESTROY - SO HE AUDIENCE IS AFRAID. LIKE WHT YOU SAY ABOUT OSAMA BIN LADEN: WE DONT KNOW A LOT - BUT WE ARE FRAID - BECAUSE OF 11.9. - SO WITHOUT ANY INFORMATIONS ABOUT THE ALIENS WE ALL FEEL NOTHING - WE ARE ALL CONFUSED BUT LETS SAY YOU NEVER WOULD HAVE SHOWED AN ALIEN IN SIGN - IT WOULD BE A DESASTER - NOBODY WOULD TAKE IT SERIOUS!!
EDIT: My mistake. I was thinking of a game more along the lines of
House of the Dead, which he also butchered. Apparently,
Alone in the Dark actually does have a great story. Maybe I should play it sometime.
Games I wouldn't mind Boll making movies out if:
Redneck Rampage
Deer Hunter
Tetris (wait... I may retract this one!)
Super Mario Bros
Diablo (but not Diablo II, which actually has a sort of a story line to ruin)
Quote from: Reese Tora on April 10, 2008, 11:33:00 PM
Games I wouldn't mind Boll making movies out if:
Redneck Rampage
Deer Hunter
Tetris (wait... I may retract this one!)
Super Mario Bros
Diablo (but not Diablo II, which actually has a sort of a story line to ruin)
redneck rampage the movie, that would make me happy. i dont care how bad they do it, thats how its supposed to be
How about Rampage - the original one?
How about Pong?
:B
This reminds me of that skit on Robot Chicken about the Chutes and Ladders movie, Hungry Hungry Hippos, and so on. I'm sure he'd be the one to do em. >.>
Carmageddon IMO
Quote from: Kenji on April 11, 2008, 11:59:01 AM
This reminds me of that skit on Robot Chicken about the Chutes and Ladders movie, Hungry Hungry Hippos, and so on. I'm sure he'd be the one to do em. >.>
And I am going to be Ladders they say
I bet Uwe Boll is actually anti-videogame and makes these movies to try and anger fans against the series so that way they'll stop playing. D:
Quote from: Kenji on April 11, 2008, 03:33:31 PM
I bet Uwe Boll is actually anti-videogame and makes these movies to try and anger fans against the series so that way they'll stop playing. D:
or maybe he's a complete piece of... work
http://www.gucomics.com/comic/?cdate=20080410
Quote from: Reese Tora on April 11, 2008, 11:01:42 PM
Quote from: Kenji on April 11, 2008, 03:33:31 PM
I bet Uwe Boll is actually anti-videogame and makes these movies to try and anger fans against the series so that way they'll stop playing. D:
or maybe he's a complete piece of... work
http://www.gucomics.com/comic/?cdate=20080410
He feigns annoying ignorance so people will leave him alone. Like Cheese and Fred Fredburger from those now ruined cartoons. >_>
Quote from: bill on April 11, 2008, 12:50:16 PM
Carmageddon IMO
O hai! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_Race_2000)
190000... hmm almost 20%
Quote from: Reese Tora on April 11, 2008, 11:01:42 PM
or maybe he's a complete piece of... work
http://www.gucomics.com/comic/?cdate=20080410
He seems rather like a delusional asshole to me.
~Keaton the Black Jackal
http://www.wowinsider.com/2008/04/21/blizzard-to-boll-thanks-but-no-thanks/
The quote which was bandied about on Slashdot was: "We will not sell the movie rights, not to you.... especially not to you."
Did anyone realize he has a doctorate in literature? Doesn't say much about the value of a degree, does it? :B
That explains why he wants everyone to sound like they're reading off a script....
What's with all the Uwe Boll hate? I mean, sure, the guy is a gigantic pretentious douche... but I will swear by the fact that Blood Rayne is the best Worst movie in the history of ever.
Seriously, get some friends over, drink some Whiskey and proceed to bash the crap out of it.
It's magical.
Uwe Boll owns, I drink the tears of video game fan rage
Quote from: bill on April 22, 2008, 08:47:05 PM
Uwe Boll owns, I drink the tears of video game fan rage
You like NASCAR!! Your opinion counts for nothing, I say! >:O
PS: I didn't even know most of his movies were video games, cuz I don't play video games. The movies just suck. In every possible way, they suck. They're as bad as most of the Sci-Fi channel original movies. "Snakehead Terror" anyone? :S
Sci-Fi originals own fyi
Ok I watched a half hour of Blood Rayne on Sci Fi. I dropped in on the movie during the second half. From what I've seen the movie seems to suffer from information glut.
Everything that could pass as common knowledge or that which is mundane is explained needlessly and things that really should be explained aren't. It's almost as if the writer or director feels their audience is stupid...whichever one is responsible should be to blame.
I'm sure everyone would agree, it's the director. When he was directing Alone In The Dark, he scolded his writers for not including enough explosions and car chases.
I should probably put this on the forum for those not in the know.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/UweBoll
Basically I should point out that the main reason is that he is being bankrolled by German producers into making "Springtime for Hitler"'s. That said the German tax code was recently tightened to prevent this sort of crap form happening in the first place. So really. It's pretty much a moot point.
Edit: Never mind. According to wikipedia this is still legal for him.
... according to tvtropes it's still legal. It's just illegal in the US as of 2006.
Quote from: GabrielsThoughts on April 26, 2008, 11:51:39 PM
Ok I watched a half hour of Blood Rayne on Sci Fi. I dropped in on the movie during the second half. From what I've seen the movie seems to suffer from information glut.
Everything that could pass as common knowledge or that which is mundane is explained needlessly and things that really should be explained aren't. It's almost as if the writer or director feels their audience is stupid...whichever one is responsible should be to blame.
Apparently, Alone in the Dark suffers from that, too, with an opening text purported to be longer than your average TV miniseries.
It can't help that he's making video game movies. Video games and movies just never seem to mix well.
Quote from: Alondro on April 23, 2008, 09:29:26 AM
They're as bad as most of the Sci-Fi channel original movies. "Snakehead Terror" anyone? :S
Actually, Sci-Fi made House of the Dead 2, and it was much better than Boll's original flick.
....
Sniffing a can of effluent and painting your house with the resultant snot is better than Boll's flicks. What's your point?
Yes! Mod-war coming up! D-moon vs 'I-Learch' (the one-eyed lurching box creature)!
With special guest fighter: Uwe Boll!
Ticket Master: $4,000 per seat. >:3
Quote from: llearch n'n'daCorna on May 06, 2008, 12:26:49 PM
....
Sniffing a can of effluent and painting your house with the resultant snot is better than Boll's flicks. What's your point?
this sounds better than a lot of things though
I don't understand the argument. Sci-Fi original movies are the best things ever. Did you see the one about the rock monster? It was a monster made out of rocks! Amazing.
Quote from: Alondro on May 06, 2008, 02:04:19 PM
Yes! Mod-war coming up! D-moon vs 'I-Learch' (the one-eyed lurching box creature)!
With special guest fighter: Uwe Boll!
Ticket Master: $4,000 per seat. >:3
There goes my next year of college tuition.
Quote from: Zina on May 06, 2008, 04:05:01 PM
I don't understand the argument. Sci-Fi original movies are the best things ever. Did you see the one about the rock monster? It was a monster made out of rocks! Amazing.
it almost makes up for them cutting MST3K
wait no it doesn't
Nothing will EVER make up for that....
Well, okay Zombie Jesus dancing on a pogo-stick/DDR machine is a good start, but it still won't cut it.
Quote from: llearch n'n'daCorna on May 06, 2008, 12:26:49 PM
....
Sniffing a can of effluent and painting your house with the resultant snot is better than Boll's flicks. What's your point?
I'm just making a counter argument to the comment that Sci-Fi movies suck MORE than Uwe Boll movies. That is just untrue, and to say so it to disparage the amount of work that goes into those fine pieces of cinema (not to mention the fact that it makes Uwe Boll movies sound far more impressive than they really are).
Point.
Thinking back, there's the old B-movie sci fi stuff I watched when I were younger; I'm thinking of Damnation Alley, actually, in which the book was excellent and the movie fun, but almost completely unrelated to said book... and very second-rate.
The art of making unreal look real has improved a lot since then, though.
Stride Gum has upped the ante with 1,000,000 packs of gum. If the petition reaches 1,000,000 they will give each signatory a free pack of gum.
I'm not even kidding.
http://www.prnewswire.com/cgi-bin/stories.pl?ACCT=104&STORY=/www/story/05-07-2008/0004808311&EDATE=
http://www.joystiq.com/2008/05/07/stride-gum-pitching-in-to-stop-uwe-boll/
I'm fine with Uwe Boll making more movies. Nobody has to watch them seriously. And beside, he's providing fuel for future incarnations of Mystery Science Theater 3000 (and you know there will be.....), and I just can't help but admire that.