Unfortunately, said car did not have an engine, gas tank, or transmission box.
(OOG if we kill the character, the next person could always say "Un/Fortunately, this story wasn't about that character at all, it was about this character." I've seen that done in story games, before.)
Fortunately, his house was a two-minute walk from the bus station.
Unfortunately, there was a very deep, very wide canyon between him and the bus station.
(sorry, Techmaster. Back to the canyon it is.)
Fortunately, he had the skills of Evil Knevil, and jumped the canyon on a motorcycle.
EDIT: Raist, you idiot! Change your post back to the canyon!
Unfortunately, he missed the ramp on the other side.
Fortunately, there was a trampoline to catch him.
Unfortunately, the trampoline had a big hole in it.
Fortunately, he missed the hole.
Unfortunately, he hit the wall on his way back up.
Fortunately, there was a branch on the wall to grab hold of.
Unfortunately, it started to crack under his weight.
Fortunately, he had climbing gear to attach himself to the wall with.
Unfortunately, the gear was in the trunk of his car.
Fortunately there was still the trampoline to land on
Unfortunately, this time he didn't miss the hole.
Fortunately, the trampoline was in a swimming pool.
Unfortunately, Zak can't swim!
Fortunately, the pool was filled with scantily clad lifeguards with large breasts.
unfortunately they were all men.
fortuneately they all had hot sisters
Unfortunately, Zak is into animals. :U
fortunately they were all furries! :B
Unfortunately, they were all dead.
Fortunately, Zak leaves, because he still has to get to AC '07
Unfortunately, he has two broken legs and internal bleeding in the ass.
fortuneately there is a hot fur nurse presant
unfortunately, she learned medicine from Dr. Mengele.
Fortunately, Zak discovers mind over matter, heals himself, and gets to the bus stop.
Unfortunately, he's out of money to pay the fare.
Fortunately, he hitches a ride on a passing car.
Unfortunately, the driver happens to be an escaped convicted murderer. :cry
Fortunately, the conviction was bogus.
Unfortunately, the trigger happy swat team chasing him was not aware or did not care about how bogus it was especially when they nailed the car with their rocket launchers and assault cannons.
Unfortunately, the driver is still an axe- murder.
Fortunately, he fell out of the car before it exploded.
Unfortunately, that's some really jagged asphalt.
Fortunately, I saved a lot of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico.
Bill, don't be an asshat.
FORTUNATELY, he was able to roll enough to avoid any serious abrasions on said jaggy asphault.
Unfortunately, he rolled into oncomming traffic.
Fortunately they were all NASCAR drivers and crashed long before they could hit him.
Unfortunately, he got up and realized that he still needs to get a ride to AC '07
Fortunately, some friends of his drove up and offered him a lift.
Unfortunately rabid girl scouts arrived and ripped them to shreds for not buying cookies.
Fortunately, he was able to run fast enough to escape them.
Unfortunately He gained alot wounds and he was bleeding to death
Quote
Unfortunately He gained alot wounds and he was bleeding to death
From what? He got out of the car before it was blown to hell, he rolled enough to avoid getting to scapred up on the asphault, and he ran fast enough to escape the Girl Scouts Of Doom. *sigh* Oh well.
Fortunately, he had a first-aid kit and knew enough first aid to patch himself up and keep trudging to AC '07.
Unfortunately, he realised he was too late for AC07, and instead had to make it for AC08.
Well, if you insist...
Unfortunately, he was slowed down by the bandages and the limp.
Quote
Unfortunately, he realised he was too late for AC07, and instead had to make it for AC08.
Ummm,
Quote
I waited until AnthroCon was over before starting up this game. In fact, the premise of this game will be getting to said AC (just rewind the time for this game)
If we're gonna hit him with that, at least wait until he gets there. (Unfortunately, when he finally arrived, he found he was too late, and AC '07 was already over) He's still meandering around his hometown, trying to find a ride. I never thought you'd be the one to end this game prematurely, llearch.
Does anyone
else have an unfortunately for Zak?
Lemme try.
Unfortunately, he was getting blisters on his feet.
Fortunately the mighty Odin was present to lend him his godly strength assuming he could shout WOTAN!!!
unfortuneately it was just loki..
Fortunately, Loki wanted Zak to get to where he was going anyway as part of his evil scheme.
Unfortunately, while Zak was attempting to get to Anthrocon '07, that was, in fact, not where he was going.
Fortunately getting godly strength by calling "WOTAN!" is very helpful in ploughing through long lines.
Quote"It's going to look pretty good, then, isn't it," said War testily, "the One Horseman and Three Pedestrians of the Apocralypse."
Unfortunately, Zak suddenly realized he couldn't shout 'WOTAN' in the first place. He couldn't even mumble it quietly under his breath.
Fortunately, he found out he didn't even need Odin/Loki whoever the hell is going on here, and managed to walk by himself just to the city limits.
Unfortunately, he can't understand the natives thick Midwestern accents.
fortuneately he had a guide.
Unfortunately, neither he nor the guide seemed to realize that Pittsburgh wasn't in the Midwest, indicating that they were very lost.
Fortunately, the time/space continuum shifted and he found himself in Pennsylvania.
Unfortunately he ended up in Pencilsvania where everyone was a writing tool that was sharp and very pointy!
Fortunately the natives knew the way to Pittsburgh.
Unfortunately, the time/space shift caused him to completely miss AC '07.
Fortunately, the time/space carriage return got him to the hotel a day early.
(lol that's a good one)
Unfortunately, he didn't have the money to pay for the hotel room.
Fortunately, Bill Gates was around and happened to have some extra cash on him.
Unfortunately, Zak and Bill Gates never went anywhere near each other.
fortuneately bill dropped a 500$
Unfortunately, someone else picked it up first.
Fortunately, Zak saw the person picking up the $500.
Unfortuantely, it was a burly club bouncer.
fortuneately he wasn't very good at his job
Unfortunately, his buddy was.
Fortunately, Zak didn't need the money. He had a friend who owned a helicopter, and stopped by and gave (past tense, he's already in the chopper) Zak a lift.
unfortuneately zak was tired and his friend sped away from the hotel......that contained all his luggage in the lobby!
Fortunately, Zak's buddy thought ahead, and brought a new bag of stuff for Zak in the chopper.
Unfortuneately the chopper was on low gas and it crashed and killed the people in the building bellow them
Fortunately they were axe murdering nudist pedophile elvis impersonators. so it deserves a medal or something for killing them.
QuoteI withdrawal my previous statement as to having seen everything
unfortunately, the people were all immortals, meeting for the gathering and survived... they are very cross with Zak
fortuneately zaks friend and zak made it back to the hotel....
Unfortunately, Zak realized that he still hasn't even left his homecity, and he still has to at least get out in order to be on his way to AC '07.
Fortunately, zaks friend pulled some wires and got him a sweet new car.
Unfortunately it was made from cheap-o parts and breaks down as soon as Zak tries to drive off.
Fortunately, Zak had a motorcycle, in good condition. Getting it, he managed to ride out far enough to get on the highway and leave the city.
unfortuneately it was all a dream. it was now 8 am and he had to get going to be at AC
Fortunately, now in reality, he might actually make it if he leaves now!
Unfortunately, he's dead tired.
Fortunately, he had a can of energy drink, and gulped it down, restoring his energy. Ready to go!
Unfortunately he just discovered that he's violently allergic to some of the ingredients in that energy drink.
fortuneately he looked at his faverite picture :bunnycry and everything was well again. the magical effects of bunny love cures all.
Unfortunately, the bunny has an evil aura and it poisoned Zak's soul, therefore making HIM evil.
Fortunately, evil is cool!
Unfortunately, Zak started plotting world domination and the deaths of millions... which will most likely make him miss AC 07.
fortuneatelly a hot cop he knew was going to AC and haveing an evil aura would hinder any macing he could do. so he became good again.....or atleast neuteral
Unfortunately, plotting world domination had still made him short on cash for AC.
fortuneately "Liz" was there to bail him out.
Unfortunately (for Liz), this crates a paradox, as he is in the wrong dimension. A one-person rift opens up and anihilates Liz.
Fortunately, he left behind a substantial amount of gold while grabbing at the cliff in panic.
(OT: He then crash-landed on his own roof, still alive, so Crystal got out the extension ladder and a first-aid kit, but that's another story.)
unfortuneately zak is allergic to gold
Fortunately, Zak was just then robbed of all said gold. Wait, what? Fortunately? :erk lol.
unfortuneately he now needs more funding. thanks alot glitch.
Fortunately, a demonite appears and tells Zak he won the interdimensional lottery.
Unfortunately, it was just an interdimentional demonite joke.
fortuneately he was on that dimentions version of punk'd and was payed copiusly after beating the pulp out of the demonite.
Unfortunately, he realized it was getting late, and had only two more days before AC '07 started.
Fortunately, he had rocket skates. You heard me. ROCKET SKATES.
unfortuneately ACME you heard me ACME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
VERY fortunately, unlike most acme products, Zak managed to safely use the rocket skates to make it all the way out into the county about 1/8th of the way to AC '07.
unfortunately for zak only his feet made it. *ouch*
(emphasis on the 'safely', lucas :P )
(well the feet made it safely.)
*sigh* Fortunatly, an uber-cyborg scientist/medic was walking by, who gave Zak a ride all the way to his feet, then subsequently reattached them.
unfortuneately they were backwards.
Fortunately, so was the rest of him.
Unfortunately, his brain wasn't, making his brain now backwards.
Fortunately, it gave him a unique perspective on life.
Unfortunately, he lost several hours due to this, and has to get back on the road.
Fortunately, he has a substantial amount of cash and is right next to a bike store.
Unfortunately, the bike store only has bikes built for small children.
Fortunately, Zak could take chibi form!
Unfortunately, he was mobbed by fangirls immediately upon doing so.
Fortunately they got distracted by a passing hentai tentacle monster.
Ufortunately, Zak's chibi mode only lasted for a few more moments, and now he can't ride any of the kiddie bikes anymore.
fortuneately there was a car dealership near by
Unfortunately one of the fangirls picked his pocket
Fortunately, he was still allowed to take a test drive.
unfortuneately after so far it's grand theft auto
Fortunately he's smart enough to avoid commiting a crime.
Unfortunately, he became the victim of one when he got carjacked.
Fortunately, the carjacker was just Ashton Kutcher punking Zak.
Unfortunately, the whole situation caused the car to go out of control and smash into a nearby pole.
Fortunately, due to the carjack, Zak wasn't even in the car.
unfortuneately he was till in need of a ride.
Fortunately, a good Samaritan offered the distraught Zak a ride anywhere he wanted.
Unfortunately Zak was found an hour later in a ditch.
Fortunately, Zak was alive.
Unfortunately, his kidneys were missing.
Fortunately, Zak had his cell phone on him and dialed 911 and got the paramedics to be on their way.
unfortuneately only ink showed up. i belive he likes his tea with pain
Fortunately, rabid DMFA fans carried Ink off to AC, leaving Zak alone and safe.
Unfortunately, he's still in pain... and still waiting for those paramedics.
Fortunately, a priest of healing wanders by and performs a "Heal" spell, removing all injury from Zak.
Unfortunately, he realizes he's lost even more time to get to AC '07.
Fortunately, Zak's other car is a DeLorean Time Machine.
Unfortunately, the flux capacitor is busted.
Fortunately, this time machine is an organic one and uses weed. Zak lights up his hooka and we be jammin to the past.
Unfortunately, he is so stoned after the trip that he can't think straight for several hours.
Fortunately, thinking straight is not a prerequisite for Zak's task.
Unfortunately, Zak ended up at AC '97... missed the time by ten years, which is acceptable by TARDIS standards...
Fortunately, Zak cleared his head enough to re-target the time machine, and land himself in the correct time.
Unfortunately, he's right back where he started. Late.
Fortunately, he wasn't late when he started anyway, and drove down the road in his DeLorean (with the time machine off).
Unfortunately, DeLoreans are desperately slow, owing to a vastly underpowered engine combined with the heavy weight of the steel body panels.
fortuneately nitrus
Unfortunately nitrus+time machine=explosion :(
Fortunately, explosions are fun!
Unfortunately they hurt. Alot.
Fortunately, the power of the explosion propelled Zak to a hospital just fifteen minutes away from the convention center.
(OOG: Very fortunately, I finally read the first post fully and figured out how to do that smiley trick!)
Unfortunately it took him eight weeks to recooperate.
Forunately, the Space-Time Squad came and teleported him back to the past...again...
Unfortunately there were now three instances of him, causing a rift in the space-time continuum and sucking them all into an eclipse. There Zak fell victim to Dracula's pedophilia.
Fortunately, the current Zak escaped both the rift and Dracula.
Unfortunately, a squirrel with a knowledge of martial arts tries to kill him.
fortunately zack... kinda steps on it.
Unfortunately, that causes an entire army of martial art squirrels to go after him.
Fortunately a large rock falls and crushes the entire army and a certain Tai Kwon Doh chipmunk.
Unfortunately, the large rock was thrown by the Hulk who is currently on a rampage.
Fortunately, he's headed in the other direction.
unfortuneately it's because he farted.....and the hulk leaves hulk sized farts if ya know what i mean.
Fortunately because of all his accendents, he gots no nose no mo.
Unfortunately, it's made him hideously ugly.
Fortunately, he has a fursuit.
Unfortunately, he left the head at home.
Fortunately, he's right next to Michael's Craft Store.
Unfortunately, it's closed for remodeling for the next month.
Fortunately, there's a Jo-Ann Fabrics store in perfect condition about five minutes from the Michael's.
Unfortunately the entire mall is cordoned off as a set for another crappy Wayans Brothers movie.
Fortunately, It was a smash hit! FOR ONCE!
Unfortnately, Zak still needs to get back on his way, and doesn't have the time to see the movie.
Fortunately, K.I.T.T. from Knight Rider drives up and offers Zak a ride.
Unfortunately, it is actually KARR and it tries to kill Zak.
Fortunately, Canti comes by and blows KARR away with his Overdrive Technique.
Unfortunately, Zak gets hit with some of the splash damage.
Fortunately all it does is get his hair mussed.
Unfortunately his hair is crucial to his AC outfit.
fortuneately his totally fab friend fixes it for him. (newgrounds aura thing.......don't ask"
Unfortunately, by "fix" he means "shave it all off and buff your now bald head".
Fortunaltey, he has a wig with him. (His totally fab friend)
Unfortunately Its one of shattners old wigs
Fortunately it's not one of the possessed ones
unfortunately the animal rights activists spot the wig and mistake it for a nest of the legendary "Vadge Badger" ...to everyone else it just looks like it came out of an elephants rear.
Fortunately, a baby panda crosses the street at that exact moment, distracting the animal rights people as they rush over and save it.
Unfortunately, Zak still has a whole slew of problems that I can't even name all of, and not the least of which the sun is coming up which means he has only a day and a half to get to AC '07
Fortunately, he should make it in the nick of time, though only thanks to a giant wheel carved out of a granite cliff face by a bolt of lightning that has flaming grass caught in the hole in the middle that helped invent religion.
Unfortunally, he dosen't know how to use it.
fortuneately ACME....again
Unfortunately, this time he doesn't use his ACME products correctly, and does a Wile E. Coyote 'falling off the cliff' take.
fortunately he survived...and again found himself in a ditch.
Unfortunately, He found the seat of his pants ripped open and he was somewhat sodomized by fursuiters
Fortunately they stop after realizing Zak's wig is actually a tribbel.
Unfortunately, they were also Star Trek fans and started sodomizing the "tribble" while it's still on Zak's head.
Fortunately, he could take off the wig.
unfortunately, he was transformed into a gerbil by a fur suited wizard who saw him escape.
Fortunately, it wasn't gerbil hunting season. (When is it ever?)
((THE RABID NARUTO FAN IS BACK!))
Unfortunately, he gets attacked by a flying nurse squirrel weilding atomic muffins.
((*CoughCough*RJ*CoughCough*))
Fortunately, it was all just a horrible horrible dream and he wakes up (in a cold sweat)... and there's more than enough time to get to AC '07!
Unfortunately some terribly inconsiderate person has left him tied to the bed.
Naked.
Fortunately, it was the ride of his life, and it was a night he'll never forget (in a positive way). :D
(that was niiice, Ryudo ;) )
Unfortunately, he's still got the problem of being strapped down.
Fortunately, he's not actually in a hotel room.
Or, indeed, any other sort of room.
Unfortunately, he found out that he was in another dimension where 10% of the sentient population was human and the rest were actual furres...of which 50% were demonoid.
Fotunately, a sage come up to him to guide him back home and to AC '07
unfortuneately this is where our story ends...zak being at AC and all.
time for a new tale.
Drake was a tiny lad and wished to meet santa. so one day he gathered up some warm clothes and walked out his front door.
THAT WASN'T THE END, YOU FOOL! SOMEONE COULD HAVE TURNED THAT INTO AN UNFORTUNATELY BY SAYING THE SAGE REALLY WORKED FOR THE DEMONITES!
... said the small pumpkin outside his door.
Unfortunately, Drake was out there to get pumpkin for pumpkin soup.
(( Er, tech, was the shouting -really- necessary? Sure, we could have gone on, but there's been 210 fortunately/unfortunately for AC responses already. Maybe it's time for a change... ))
(Ok ok, I'm sorry. Just acted out quickly. I was also tired at the time. Please accept my apologies, Lucas. I was out of line.)
fortuneately hus tummy full of soup Drake was now ready to find santa
Unfortunately, he didn't have a compass, so didn't know which way to go.
fortuneately guns&roses was there to point him in the right direction.... but not before rocking hardcore!
Unfortunately he bumped into the wolfman and looked at Drake like he was supper
Fortunally, the wolfman somehow walked into a bear trap.
Unfortunately, the bear trap was a Decepticon...
Fortunately, the deception was small, since bear traps aren't all that big.
Unfortunately, the deception's blaster was like the Noisy Cricket from Men in black.
fortuneately Drake was able to get away while reality sorted it's crap out.
Unfortunately, there were bear traps everywhere.
Forunately, they were only bear traps, not Decepticons.
Unfortunately, they were still bear traps, and he stepped in one.
Fortunately, the decepticon did too.
Unfortunately, it was one of those steel-jaw traps that really freakin' hurts.
Fortunately, he was able to find the release latch and free himself.
Unfortunately, he now has a mangled leg.
Fortunately, the autobots arrived when they noticed the decepticon, and Ratchet offered Zak a ride to the hospital.
unfortuneately due to a mixed up chart and a incomptent doc he is diagnosed as dead.
Fortunately, he's still arguing with the doc over that.
Unfortunately, by winning the argument, he's been diagnosed as "undead".
Fortunately, the doc was a moron and they got a new one for him to argue with.
Unfortunately, the doctor was Ink...
Fortunately, He has a nice pair of twins to mess with! :P
Unfortunately, Ink threatens to change his status from undead back to dead (only really dead this time).
fortuneately being so cute and asking really nice he finally got his leg repaired....now if only he could be on his way to santa
unfortunately the leg was surgically attached to a Pomeranian
Fortunately it's a nice Pomeranian.
Unfortunately, the Pomeranian appears to be a juicy snack to that jackal that just wandered in.
Fortunately, appearances can be deceiving.
Unfortunately, that's not how it is in this particular case, that Jackal is quite real, very hungry and has an appetite for Pomeranian.
Fortunately, the Pomeranian was a ninja and kicked the jackal's butt out of the room.
Unfortunately, Zak still needs to get to the con, and now he has to somehow explain to his fellow nerds why he has a Pomeranian for a leg.
Unfortunately for BlackAngel, the story of Zak ended a page ago. The new story is about a young boy named Drake who wants to find Santa.
Fortunately, now that I've realized that, the story can get back on track.
Unfortunately for Drake, he still has a Pomeranian for a leg, and it's getting dark out.
fortunately there's a lamp post near his house and the Pomeranian guides him to it...after making a brief pitstop...
*insert watering the plants sound*
Unfortunately for me Drake has soiled the potted plants of a Miss Mumzy of Captial Road..And she has her shotgun
Fortunately, she's a really bad shot.
Unfortuneately she doesn't have to be
Fortunally, he has magic with him.
unfortuneately that's the name of his new leg.
Fortunately, the new leg enables him to get away from the gun toting lady.
Unfortunantly, Drake falls in a large ditch shortly after he started running.
Fortunately, the ditch was full of pillows.
Unfortunantly, the pillows were filled with bricks.
fortunately drake is immune to pain
unfortunantly, this immunity is short-lived.
Fortunantly, magic could climb out of any ditch.
Unfortunately, the rest of him can't, so he's missing a leg again.
Fortunately, the shots fly above and miss him while being in the ditch.
Unfortunately, they didn't miss magic... so now he's without a leg and the leg he used to have now has holes in it.
Fortunantly, Magic has an abnormal healing speed, so Magic ended up healed two seconds later.
Unfortunately magic decided that Drake was a dead and decided to start his own magical adventure.
Fortunately, Drake is not dead, so we'll have to save magic's story for another day.
Unfortunantly, he dies of a heart attack minutes later.
Fortunately, it was magic that died, not Drake.
Unfortunantly, The hauntings of Magic ghost looms into his mind torrmenting him forever....
Fortunately, he can ignore that fairly easily.
Unfortunately, he's still stuck in a ditch, without a leg, he's still gotta figure out how to meet Santa, and there's a gun toting lady up there. What a predicament!
Fortunately the gun-toting lady offers to help him get out of the ditch.
Unfortunately, the reason she's helping is because she's is a pedophile... :yuck
Fortunately, Drake isn't female enough for her tastes.
Unfortunately, she knows just how to solve that minor biological inconvenience.
fortuneately drake is very perswaysive, and she let's him go one to find santa
Unfortunately, he's running out of time, and now his leg is useless again.
Fortunately a wandering genetics engineer and medical genius wanders by and clones Drake a new leg and attaches it for free! He can now continue on his quest.
unfortuneately it's on backwards and now it's one step forward one step back.
Fortunately, that's how opposites attract.
Unfortunately, his leg has a limit for how long it can last.
Fortunately, it's longer than he needs it.
Unfortunately, with it being on backwards, he can't make any progress.
Fortunately, he finds an abandoned Segway. Those things can balance ANYONE.
Unfortunately, it's busted. There's a reason it was abandoned after all.
fortuneately by the shi arr happened to be crusein around in their ship and helped josh out by fixing it.
Unfortunately, they left him with one huge bill and demanded payment up front.
luckily it's the shi arr were talking about. josh fought them off with his new super powerful segway.
Unfortunately, that made absolutely no sense.
Fortunately, it didn't have to, and Drake can go on his merry way towards Santa.
After all, does going to visit Santa make sense? of course not. :-]
Unfortunately, Drake comes to a realization: Santa lives at the north pole, and Drake lives significantly south of the north pole... and all he has is one backwards leg and a segway. How will he ever get to the north pole?
Fortunately, Drake has a friend who is a pilot.
Unfortunately, that friend is currently on the other side of the world.
fortunately, Drake learns that Santa is in Las Vegas for the summer. Gambling away the saint Nicholas fortune, so that he can buy toys for all the children of the world on Christmas, and hang out at the Star Trek experience dressed as a Klingon.
unfortuneately santa entered the neuteral zone.
Quote from: lucas marcone on August 09, 2007, 07:55:15 PM
unfortuneately santa entered the neuteral zone.
*wince* I do not think that means what you think it means.
Fortunately, Santa didn't get neutered, but instead got directions to the Neutral Zone.
Unfortunately, he was directed to the Neutral Zone that was depicted in the television show... several lightyears away from earth.
fortuneately there was a bird of prey nearby
for any nontrekkies out there the bird of prey is s klingon war ship.
Unfortunately the bird of prey was Sam, the American Bald Eagle.
Fortunately, Sam was able to help Santa get back to Las Vegas (on earth) so that he could continue to gamble away his fortune.
Unfortunately, Santa's lost half his toy money on those cursed slot machines.
Fortunately, he won it back on the next bet.
Unfortunately, he was imprisoned for cheating.
Fortunately, he made bail. Go Mrs. Claus!
Unfortunately the bailbondsman Jack Frost helped out as well
Fortunately, Santa and Mrs. Claus got away and made it safely back to the north pole without incident.
unfortunately, there is now a warrant for Santa's arrest, and all American children including Drake will no longer receive the benefit of Santa's gifts.
Fortunately, Drake hasn't been intending to wait for Christmas (kinda the whole reason Drake's looking for him, isn't it?)
Unfortunately, Drake forgot which direction he should be heading.
Fortunately, he suddenly remembered! Santa lives at the north pole!
Unfortunately, he cannot figure out which way north is.
fortuneately useing the earths magnetic feild some water and a bit of wire drake was able to make a compass
Unfortunately he did this middle of a growing rabidstream of water and went down a waterfall
Fortunately, he grabbed a tree branch while falling.
unfortunately the tree branch had a rusty fishing hook in it and when the branch snapped under the weight of Drake's Segway. Drake soon found the hook lodged in his ding-a-ling.
fortuneately....wait...um ow? fortuneately it was a minor flesh wond and a band-aid will fix it right up.
Unfortunately, he lost his compass.
Fortunately, he had seen which way it was pointing before it was swept away, and remembered the direction.
Unfortunately the way is blocked by a gaping chasm that stretches for miles in either direction.
Fortunately, there was a sturdy bridge providing safe egress across said chasm.
unfortuneately it was an imagineary bridge.
fortunately, as drake was falling toward his death in the chasim, a transdimensional portal opened and drake soon discovered he made a soft landing on a dining table in the faerie realm of pan's labrynth...
Unfortunately, he is now completely lost with no idea how to get to Santa.
fortunately one of Santa's over worked migrant worker elves is working at a vinyard in pan's labyrinth.
Unfortunately, this elf hates Santa, and refuses to discuss anything about him.
fortuneately we were wrong it's the labrynth from well....labrynth and david bowe playing the goblin king jumps out and forces the elf to talk.
Unfortunately he's forced to talk about David Bowie, not Santa.
Fortunately, Drake will get the opportunity to talk with the elf about Santa...as soon as he wins a "walk-off" against male supermodel "Derick Zoolander." and with that backwards leg, and a positive attitude Drake was certain he could magically pull the underwear through his body.
Unfortunately he loses the walk-off.
Fortunately, Drake's fans made Derick "disappear" and "encouraged" the judges to reverse their decision so Drake won by redecision and default at the same time.
unfortuneately david bowie,now aware of santa's secret local, is already back at his castle and drake must treverse the labrynth to find him.
Fortunately, Drake saw the movie and read the manga so he knows exactly where he's going and what he's supposed to do.
Unfortunately David Bowie got tired of all the people knowing exactly where to go and what to do, so he rearranged everything.
fortuneately drake is always up for an adventure.
Unfortunately, he just got another slice to deal with.
Fortunately, it's a slice of pie.
Unfortunately, Its made with the purple berries...They taste like..burning...
fortuneately they're burning with love....drake can taste it because he is secretly an incubus
Unfortunately, David Bowie hates cubi and sends all his forces out to kill Drake.
Fortunately drake finally decides to capitalize on his recently discovered cubi heritage, and transforms into David Bowie...ordering all who serve him to take him to Santa.
Unfortunately Bowie's minions see through the disguise.
Fortunately, Zedd comes along and help him out of this sticky pickle even its a problem any cubi could handled no problem
unfortuneately it's a problem NO cubi could handle....not even...*gasp* ANIZ!
Fortunately all the cubi-ness, Labyrinth references and cameos were a momentary mental breakdown and Drake snaps out of it. He continues on his journey with newfound purpose.
unfortuneately it gave him turrets syndrome
Fortunately, this is in no way related to Tourette Syndrome.
Unfortunately, it's worse.
fortuneately it made a handy turret grow out of his chest
Unfortunately, It just shoots bubbles and needs to be dipped in soapy water in every reload
Fortunately, the bubbles explode.
Unfortunately, they explode waaay too close to Drake.
Fortunately, they just explode with soap and water.
Unfortunately, both the soap and the water are toxic, and highly flammable when combined... like now.
Fortunately, Drake is able to get away from the flammable stuff without even getting singed.
Unfortunately, It causes a forest fire and the fire comes at him like a giant flame wall not even stopping once for anything
Fortunately, Smokey the Bear comes outta nowhere and stops the forest fire. He then reminds Drake that only he can stop forest fires and then runs off, leaving Drake all nice and safe for the time being.
Unfortunately, he still has the problem of being some crazy mutant with a cannon growing out of his chest.
Fortunately, He's a superhero with a cannon in his chest!
Unfortunately, The overuse of the cannon and futher mutations made him grow funtionable and jiggly lady breast..Try finding a top!
Quote from: Zedd on August 20, 2007, 10:08:45 PM
Fortunately, He's a superhero with a cannon in his chest!
Unfortunately, The overuse of the cannon and futher mutations made him grow funtionable and jiggly lady breast..Try finding a top!
OOG: Unfortunately, Zedd has broken a rule, resulting in his second line to become null and void >:3
Quote from: techmaster-glitch on July 16, 2007, 02:15:06 PM
Rules: Pretty much here to state the obvious, but also to warn dumbass n00bs.
-When you post, it must be the oppostite of what the person right above you posted. So if someone, say, posted a fortunately, you really want to post an unfortunatly, but someone beats you to it, tough luck. Go with the flow or not at all.
-No killing the character, obviously.
-For that matter, do NOT make a fortunately/unfortunately that stops the game and makes it impossible for someone else to post. If you do, I will make sure an admin smites you and removes your post so it can be mocked in teh A.M.
-No multiposting. That means, do not post a fortunately and an unfortunatly in the same post just because you want to. You get one line, and that's it. Kinda like the Next Word Game. (though you can occasionally get away with technically posting more than one word in that game, it will NOT be tolerated here)
-This one is more for amusing asthetics than for purpose. You don't reeeealy have to follow it, but it would be cool if you did. Everytime you post, change your message icon (right under the subject bar, for those of you that don't know) If you're posting a fortunately, change it to a Smiley. If you're posting an unfortuantely, chnage it to a Sad.
I think that's just about it for the excessive rules. Now to start the game!
Fortunately, The overuse of the cannon and futher mutations made him grow funtionable and jiggly lady breast..Try finding a top!
*whistles innocently*
Unfortunately, due to further mutations and a lack of control over his Cubi heratige, Drake's body transforms into a giant, purple, big breasted, vixen-taur, with a big fluffy tail... and she will remain stuck that way until she meets Santa Claws, the perverted furry Santa who lives in the south pole.
Fortunately, Drake likes the new form just as it is.
unfortuneately so does the creepy guy standing nexto him who just watched him go from normal boy with a backwards leg to big boobied purple vixentaur. RUN DRAKE RUN!
Fortunately drake realises that the creepy guy was Lucas Marcone
Unfortunately that makes it worse.
fortuneately im willing to over look those comments.
Unfortunately, Drake isn't. ;-]
Fortunately, Drake has better things to do and leaves the creepy guy behind.
Unfortunately, the creepy guy named Lucas starts following Drake with a very perverted grin on his face... D:
Fortunately, Drake is able to outrun him, now that he's got four legs.
Unfortunately, Lucas is on a motorcycle, and catches up easily.
fortuneately lucas isn't the name of the creep guy....it's michael jackson
Unfortunately, Im sick of tired of wacko jacko jokes so it really is just a crazy pervert realted to Herbert the old ephebophile from Family Guy
fortuneately the boobs make drake look older than he is and the creepy pedo guy looses interest
unfortunately, Santa Claws (the perverted Furry Santa from the south pole) has developed an unhealthy interest in Drake.
Fortunately, he's too far away to be a threat.
Unfortunately, Drake is heading right for him.
fortuneately the boobs make him walk funny makeing him take longer to get there
Unfortunately, They keep growing in size cause hes now lactating
Fortunately, whatever it was that changed him into this shape has finally worn off and Drake turns back to normal, and realizes that he has to go to the North Pole, and so he changes directions.
Unfortunately, it was the wrong direction.
Fortunately he still has that compass and it points him in the right direction.
Unfortunately, the way is blocked, and the closest pass to continue in the right direction is many days travel away.
Fortunately, the people who blocked the path set up a shuttle bus for those who need to continue, free of charge!
Unfortunately, It was full of smelly,wrinkly old people!
fortunately, Drake soon realized that the people on the bus were nudists, and he was quite fortunate because Drake was naked from the waist down. He noticed the draft immediately after his body was restored to normal, as transforming into a quadruped earlier destroyed his pants.
unfortuneately it didn't destroy the fleas
fortunately the fleas were from krypton, and could be killed with kryptonite.
Unfortunately no one had any kryptonite on hand.
fortuneately he knew a black market dealer
Unfortunately, that dealer is in Cuba.
fortuneately he was from chile and is now in brazil so it's on the way.
Unfortunately, the fleas seam to be causing drake to grow a healthy layer of fur...pink fur.
fortuneately he just delusional from the blood loss
Unfortunately, that means he's lost a whole F-ing lot of blood.
Fortunately the fleas are holding onto it for him.
unfortunately spontaneously becoming a catgirl, is cause for alarm when one of the passengers starts to question the physics behind Drake and his backwards leg.
fortuneately he isnt becomeing a catgirl....just a frog girl
Unfortunately, He has a strange taste for bugs bigger than his ego
Fortunately, that means he can eat any bug he wants.
Unfortunately the fleas give Drake gas, and cause his body to transform into something else.
Fortunately, it just makes him turn back to his normal self, with his leg set the right way this time.
Unfortunately, he's still nowhere near the North Pole.
fortuneately he still has enough gass to get him halfway there :P
Unfortunately, he has no vehicle for that gas to power.
Fortunately, he can make good time walking while he's trying to thumb a ride.
unfortuneately FURRY SANTA offered him a ride and a drink of a weird green drink.
fortunately, Drake thinks the green tea tastes weird and decides not to take the ride.
unfortuneately he dosen't have to, seeing as the green tea had a cemical in it that turned drake into a very curvy poodlemonkey. furry santa likes poodlemonkies.
Fortunately, poodlemonkeys are very quick and agile, so Drake easily escapes Furry Santa's pervy grip.
Unfortunately, he escaped right over the edge of a cliff.
Fortunately, this story isn't really about Drake. It's really about Harvey, the South American ninja who is on a quest to get revenge for the death of his best friend who was killed by a rival ninja clan based in Argentina.
Unfortunately, Ryudo is just reading the synopsis of the latest 4Kids mangling of a decent anime series. Drake is still falling off the cliff.
Fortunately, he's still a poodlemonkey, meaning he has a prehensile tail, so he uses that and both hands to grab a sturdy branch protruding from the cliff's edge.
unfortuneately his new set of boobs add more interia and momentum makeing it hard for him to hold on
Fortunately, since that made no sense, Drake was able to climb back up.
unfortunately Drake noticed a snake getting ready to strike at the top of wherever he fell from.
fortuneately it was just a downed powerline
Unfortunatly, the powerline was sitting in gasoline.
Fortunately, the line wasn't energized.
Unfortunately, the gasoline fumes were getting to him.
fortunately Santa came down and rescued him...
Unfortunately, It was south pole santa and they went down at his place and have friendly warm freaky jungle love!
fortunately Drake escaped, and the layers of poodlemonkey fur protected him/her from the elements.
Unfortunately, now he's at the South Pole and about as far away from the real Santa as one can get.
fortunately Drake befriends one of the lonely south pole elves.
Unfortunately the elf is only after that freaky jungle love.
fortuneately it's a girl elf.
unfortunately Drake isn't interested in her.
fortuneately (for her) he dosn't have to be
unfortunately Furry Santa' had discovered them...in the throws of passion.
fortunately drake and the elf girl hop a plane to new mexico. pretty convinient the south pole has an air port.
Unfortunately, the plane runs out of fuel and crashes into the ocean. Luckily Drake survives, but is now afloat in the middle of the ocean.
fortuneately the elf girl didn't and is now a meat raft for drake
Unfortunately, her corpse is making quite a stink.
fortunately, the elf girl's corpse appears to attract dolphins.
unfortunetely the dolphins hate drake with a passion
Fortunately, the smell confuses the dolphins into helping him.
Unfortunately the smell also attracts several schools of hungry Drake-eating sharks.
fortuneately the smell waers off!
Unfortunately it is because the elf girl has become undead and tries to impale Drake with a Dolphin.
Fortunately, the dolphin see this and try to stop her while Drake tries to escape.
Unfortunately, he still has the sharks to contend with.
fortunately an immortal reindeer with a big shiny nose happens to be on his summer vacation and spots a poor poodle monkey defending his/herself from a swarm of giant man eating sharks... and a bunch of undead dolphins.
Unfortunately, that reindeer can't do anything about it... this reindeer has an unnatural fear of sharks and poodle monkeys.
fortunately he has a rocketlauncher
Unfortunately, It only shoots snot rockets and fart bombs
Fortunately, the sharks and dolphins are easily grossed out.
unfortunately so is drake
Fortunately, from all the time he's spent it the ocean, the poodle monkey transformation runs out, so the reindeer dosen't fear him no mo.
unfortunately drake is a deerophobe.
fortunately, he is unafraid as in his desperation his mind is unable to cope with the idea that a reindeer could fly, and so he mistakes the reindeer for a giant squirrel... a giant flying squirrel with a big glowing red nose named Rudolfo (because Rudolf is lame)
Unfortunately, he thinks he's too heavy for the squirrel, and that they'll do what the titanic *coughandonmytestonmathcough* did. Crash and sunk.
fortunately Drake was to desperate to care and latched on to Rudolfo and was carried off to the north pole.
Unfortunately, it's rather cold there, and since Drake had just been swimming, he now has little drops of ice clinging to his fur.
fortunately the reason Drake has fur is because his body transformed into a Pomeranian...who looks exactly like magic.
Unfortunately, now he's frozen since pomeranian fur with ice in it is not a good insulator.
fortunately north pole Santa Thaws him out.
unfortunately it really south pole furry santa. and rudolpho is actually skeezy the undead reindeer bitch.
fortunately Skeezy's heart started beating again and she rescued Drake and whisked him off to the north pole...the real north pole, you know the wild frontier with hookers and beer.
unfortunately they don't have red lights for air planes
Fortunately they have green ones instead.
Unfortunately, the reindeer has an eye condition where he cannot see the color green.
fortunately Skeezy still has the ability to perceive light.
Unfortunately, Drakes water breaks like there was a flash flood
Fortunately, the reindeer was able to land safely.
Unfortunatly, Drake ended up in a snowbank five miles away for some reason.
fortunately snow is a good insulateor
Unfortunatly for Drakes kin are evil little hell spawns that bite hard
fortunately nobody understands the ramblings of the crazy Zedd person, and Drake landed safely with Skeezy in one of Santa's forced labor camps.
Unfortunately, he is then mobbed by elves for money, food and candy.
fortunately drake finnaly sees santa.
there once was a girl in canada named delilah she had a lover in peru too bad her dad did not like him. she now has to get daddy on her side and her lover to canada.
fortunately he's a likeable fellow
Unfortunately, due to distance and money problems, he can't visit and show her dad what a likable fellow he is.
fortunately for Delilah the boy she fell in love with with online hooked up with a terrorist organization peaceful group of Muslim freedom fighters on their way to American Canadian Soil.
unfortuneately george bush
Fortunately impeachment! :D
Unfortunately Dick Cheney. D:
Fortunately, all the confusion this is causing has made a great window of opportunity for Delilah to get her boy into Canada.
Unfortunately where all stuck on a inline flight movie to see "The Man"
Fortunatly, the power went out in the plane, so they didn't need to whatch it.
Unfortunately, planes need power to fly. :B
Fortunately, they don't need power to fly -down-.
unfortuneately flying down is just another term for falling in style.
Fortunately the hydraulics still work, so the plane can glide.
Unfortunately, it's a modern jet, and has all the gliding capability of a brick.
A very large, heavy brick.
fortunately skeezy the undead reindeer saw that the plane was in trouble.
unfortunately she has her own issues to deal with.
fortunately the plane had parashuctes
Unfortunately there were only enough for the flight crew. And there they go.
Fortunately, Ted Striker was on the plane.
Unfortunately, he still had his drinking problem to contend with.
Fortunately AA was on the line.
Unfortunately American Atheist was too busy in las vegas helping signing autographs
Fortunately, Alcholics Anonymous was actually on the phone with him.
unfortunately the plane landed during this call.
Fortunately, the plane landed in canada. Now the boy can go and see Delilah!
Unfortunately, the plane was still pilotless and powerless when it landed, so it was more like crashing.
Fortunately, they can still sue.
Unfortunately their attorney is Lionel Hutz.
Fortunately, the airline has no jurisdiction in Canada so the passengers on the plane win by default.
unfortunately the only passenger who survived was Delilah's Bo, and the 200billion dollar settlement was in Canadian dollars. making it 23 cents on the dollar less than American currency.
Fortunately, that's still a lot of money... and more than enough for cab fare to Delilah's house.
Unfortunately, the cab driver didn't speak English very well, and took him to the wrong address.
Fortunately it was only a two minute jog to get to the right place.
Unfortunately, He was found with chicken pox
Fortunately Chicken Pox is actually a very nice fellow.
Unfortunately, he was found with the disease, not the person.
Fortunately, he hadn't actually contracted it, he just had it... in a jar.
unfortunately he was shipped back home because they convicted him of infecting people with a contagious disease.
Fortunately he knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a pilot.
Unfortunately, that pilot just got his pilot license... five minutes ago.
Fortunately he's Eddie Rickenbacker (or however you spell his name), the American Ace of Aces, as he went through a time portal to the future and learned how to fly modern planes.
Unfortunately for Eddie, he gets a case of future shock and goes ballistic as soon as he's put in a plane.
fortunately Juan can walk. that's what we're calling him now
Unfortunately, Delilah's dad has some names for him that can't be repeated in polite company.
fortunately he never keeps polite company.
Unfortunately, doing so brings down on him the wrath of his wife, and Delilah.
Fortunately everyone lived cause of minor burns and a pool full of skittles
unfortunately, reality set in and they were all part of a governmet experiment to see if marshmallows land butter side down.
Fortunately, the experiment was a success, and they were all given a bonus for their participation.
Unfortunately, It was the runners up prize so they get free lessons on nude skydiving with the eldery
Fortunately, that's not what Juan and Delilah are here for!
unfortunately that's all they're going to get.
There once was a man from Nantucket named Steve who was fortunate enough to be the first civilian launched into space with an income lower than $25,000 usd per year.
Unfortunately, he's afraid of heights.
Fortunately, he gets to go to space.
Unfortunately, he's staying there.
Fortunately, he likes space ever since he was a little kitten.
Unfortunately, They dont have the icecream he likes
Fortunately he's somewhat of a scientist, and found a way to synthesize his own.
unfortuneately he has to use his own urine to do so.
Fortunately, when in space, astronauts already drink their own pee... and sweat...and bathwater... after it's been recycled!
(While astronauts can usually pack enough food to last them long enough to either go back to Earth or wait for another supply shuttle, water is too big, heavy, and dense to be transported in large enough quantities to last any meaningful length of time on it's own. Because it's obviously logistically impossible to continuously shuttle supplies up to any human in space, scientists had to come up with a way to make sure th astronauts always had their water when they needed it. For all long-term space missions, waste collection and recycling systems were designed to operate at near-100% efficiency. So yes, they do drink their own urine. Sounds disgusting? Think again. The recycled water on a spaceship or space station is usually cleaner and more pure than any bottled water ;))
Unfortunately, He woke up in a public pool when someone said the word "Doodie!"
Fortunately, that meant he was back on Earth and had discovered a rift for instant transportation back to space, which he patented to make millions.
Unfortunately he was sued by a patent troll firm and never got a cent.
Fortunately, two weeks later a detective uncovered scandal and corruption in the firm, and Steve got his patent and his rift back!
Unfortunately, that detective wasn't cheap, and while he does have the patent and the rift, he has none of the money.
Fortunately, that doesn't bother Steve much, because Steve already has a well-paying job to have the money to go on a space trip in the first place.
unfortunately that means he's a man whore.
Fortunately, he's very well respected.
Unfortunately it was respect as a rearward operating, livestock colon cleanser.
Fortunately, he's very good at what he does.
unfortunately he's not very good at anything else.
Fortunately, he's still got his portal, and goes back to the space station.
Unfortunately, there's a bunch of huge fat gay guys in the station, since anyone can just walk through the portal.
Fortunately, in zero-gravity their mass is really easy to push around, and he shoves them all into the airlock and ejects them >:3
Unfortunately, their mass was a balancing factor in the space station and now that they are gone, the orbit decays rapidly.
Fortunately, the station has strategically placed rocket-boosters for this very situation, and four redundant backups.
Unfortunately, they were built by the lowest bidder. The primaries fail and the four backups implode.
Fortunately, the primary actually blew up, which launched the station back into it's proper orbit, completely by accident!
Unfortunately when the backups implode, it sends the station hurtling into deep space.
Fortunately, the escape pod is functioning properly.
Unfortunately, it escaped 30 minutes ago.
Fortunately, He has all the dark chocolate he wants!
Unfortunately, dark chocolate won't do you much good when you're spiraling out of control into deep space.
Fortunately, this is going to be an adventure for him as he struggles to survive in deep space!
(OOG: Please, no one end this one now. I'm gonna have fun with this one :))
Unfortuneately the murder of all those fat guys means the space police are after him. GO MIHOSHI GO!
Fortunately Course the old jedi hand wave works all the time on stupid space patrol
Unfortunately, this is the Clever Space Patrol.
Fortunately, they weren't clever enough to believe his story... that he's actually a hologram and that the real him is hiding on the dark side of the sun. AND THEY WENT AWAY!
unfortunately being on the dark side of the sun gives him a tan.
Fortunately he was able to hijacks one of the patrol ships before they left.
Unfortunately, he ramms into a space cow. Hehehe, moo.
Fortunately, the Space Cow enjoys it.
.. or is that Unfortunately? It's a little difficult to tell - after all, the Space Cow thinks it's fortunate...
Unfortunately, he receives a space bill for the damages, approximately 1.2 Billion space credits.
Fortunately, They had good terms and the bill was mainly one earth US dollar bill so the space cow and him team up as new lovers
Unfortunately, there were too many differences between them, so they split up.
Fortunately, he met someone new.
Unfortunately, it was a life-force sucking space vampire... and she was hungry
fortunately, she left him when some mad scientists in outer space 'transfurred' his brain into the body of a (insert cute furry space animal here...no tribbles, or mows.)
Unfortunately, that cute, furry space animal was a Furby. :<
Fortunately, he can repeat everything that was told to him.
unfortunately he's givin to a mime
Fortunately, he's a really good mime and most people will be able to tell what he's trying to show.
Unfortunately, the mime is in Ankh-Morpork.
Fortunately, he decides that he no longer needs the furby and sends it back to earth.
Unfortunately he wound up in the most isolated part of the Gobi desert.
Fortunately, he remembered that he was still wearing his rocket boots.
unfortunately Mihoshi shows up again to take them away.
Fortunately, Mihoshi takes him along as well.
unfortunately Ryoko shows up and beats the snot out of both of them because Mihoshi couldn't land her cruiser right again, this time at the expense of Ryoko's room.
Fortunately that 14 year old anime fangirl lost her journal full of crappy fanfics, so we never have to hear about Mihoshi or Ryoko again.
Unfortunately, our guy is still a freakin' furby.
Fortunately, he managed to find someone who could restore him to normal.
Unfortunately, that person requires the sacrifice of a virgin soul.
Fortunately, there's a virgin nearby.
Unfortunately, 'nearby' is relative, and said virgin is actually on Mars. Makes you wish you never got off the space station. :P
Fortunately, they go through the portal Earthside, and the other side is for some reason tied to the station.
Unfortunately, that's just waiting for someone to go through it and instigate "Knee Deep In The Dead" ....
fortunately noone get's the reference
Unfortunately, it gets explained to everyone that the reference is to Doom.
Fortunately, Tech Jansen appears from a temporal rift to lead all the survivors to safety... and is immediately killed by another Tech Jansen, who traveled through time to warn them about the other Tech Jansen, who was leading them to their deaths, and that Tech Jansen is killed by another , and so on until a thousand Tech Jansen's show up.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQPwrokE6fU
Unfortunately, the copyright police wipe all traces of Jansen and DOOM, leaving our hero stuck at his original quandary.
Fortunately, they also reverted him from his furby form, so now he's normal again!
Unfortunately, normal is relative to the being's perspective. He is now a bland, normal, human male of no distinguishing characteristics, talents, abilities or powers.
Fortunately, he is now so normal that he is actually abnormally normal.
He becomes a celebrity - as "The World's Most Normal Man".
Unfortunately his 15 minutes are already up.
Fortunately, He kept his rebate for a sundae at Dairy Queen!
Unfortunately, he discovers that he's lactose intolerant.
...the hard way.
fortunately, it is Sunday, and dairy queen doesn't open until 11:00am.
unfortunately the military finds him first and force him to be the first man to undergo cryogenics resulting in his awakeinging in a time where america is ruled my buisnesses and are slaves to tv and advertisement strewnabout everywhere. kudos to anyone who gets the refrence
Fortunately, he gets a bad case of future shock and is subsequently unaffected by the powers of tv and advertisements.
unfortunately that didn't stop him from buying lots of useless techno junk.
fortunately he needed it.
Unfortunately Apanmans arch rival and main badguy Baikinman(Germ man) came along and broke in and stole all the cool junk he needed to play some hot beats
fortunately it was all a dream and he really woke up on the planet of amazons after being shot into space in order for the militarty to hide a failed project. (thanks bush)
Unfortunately, the Amazons see him as a threat and ready their weapons.
Fortunately, he's too sexy for his own good and they decide instead of shooting him to death, he'll be put to death by snoo-snoo.
Unfortunately, he's still being put to death.
:grin :dface :grin :dface... :grin
(I was thinking of how to incorporate snoo-snoo into this, as well.)
Fortunately, it's still by snoo-snoo.
Unfortunately, he's told that he's going to get snoo-snoo'd by the large women... then the petite women... then the beautiful women... then the large women again... which will make him die of a crushed pelvis. :woot
fortunately the large women are still looking for the small green man.
Unfortunately, They never found him or any trace of the squishy alien wuss
fortunately that left more amazons for our space hero
unfortunately, the death... remember the being put to death part... snoo-snoo or not... it is still death!
Fortunatly, an army appears and the amazons must defend themselves, rather than snoo-snoo.
unfortunately they chain him up for later
Fortunately, he happens to be an ameteur escape artist and is able to get out of the chains and get away.
Unfortunately, being amateur, he leaves one of the chains attached...
Fortunately, it's not connected to anything but him, so he's still able to get away.
Unfortunately the chain's so heavy, "away" is only about 10 feet from his previous spot before he's discovered.
fortunately he realizes less gravity! now if he could only stop watching space amazon boobs in less than earth gravity.
Unfortunately he's too mezmerized by the boobs to do much of anything else.
Fortunately, There was a giant astroid that killed all the amazons so he could contuine his journey
Unfortunately, he's too heartbroken by the loss of the Amazon boobies to do anything right now.
fortunately he found the strenth to push on when he heard about the new amazons gone wild dvds
Unfortunately, Amazon tribes have recently started accepting Pre-op transgenders.
fortunately.....look do you reallllllly want me to go there?
Unfortunately... yes. Yes he does.
Fortunately, we're going to move swiftly onto a totally different subject, and he gets picked up by a tribe of pygmy elephants.
Unfortunately, they're pink so he thinks they're figments of his imagination... and that he might be drunk.
Fortunately, they manage to persuade him otherwise.
Unfortunately, as a result -he- manages to get -them- drunk.
fortunately they offer him a ride the the land of hot girls and fun gadgets
Unfortunately, by "hot girls" they mean "female lavamen" and by "fun gadgets" they mean... well... you don't wanna know what they mean by that.
Fortunately, lavaMEN can't be female (or male, apparently), so they decide to let the guy go.
Unfortunately, he's stuck on the planet of lavamen.
Fortunately, He has plenty of water to hose them down with coolness making them turn into stiff molten rock!
Unfortunately, the hose has too many leaks in it.
Fortunately, that causes it to spray more, making it's job better.
Unfortunately, we've switched his current brand of water with new and improved gasoline... let's see if he notices.
Fortunately he does notice and runs for dear life.
Unfortunately, he doesn't run fast enough.
fortunately he is rescued by a malfunctioning transporter beam aboard the Starship Enterprise...leaving one version of him on the surface to face a horrifying death, and another one safely aboard the starship sipping off a frappichino.
Unfortunately, the one sipping off a frappichino is the evil version.
fortunately, the good one survives and escapes the planet surface completely unharmed with super metrosexual powers he gained from the crab people... but he's totally not gay.
unfortunately no one cares.
Fortunately we can declare this entire arc a dream, a horrible horrible dream, and start over from scratch.
unfortunately we find that the dreamer is Daniel Ti Fiona, warrior for hire, One who fell unconscious as a result of Dark Pegasus blowing farts in his face. Dan is helplessly chained to a wall, and awaits freedom.
Fortunately, a rescue party was just about to arrive.
Unfortunately, it was arriving at the wrong place.
Fortunately there were still people there to be rescued.
Unfortunately, that means that Daniel is now helplessly subject to anything Dark Pegasus wants to do to him...
Fortunately Dan only has to sit through three dyslexic poetry readings, a reading of all seven Harry Potter books (or equivalent) and a rendition of kitty-cat rodeo ...all preformed by Dark Pegasus as he plucked individual hairs out of Dan's body with tweezers over the course of six very painful weeks.
Thankfully help is still on the way.
Unfortunately, that's all still really &$@%ing bad!
Fortunately, Dark Pegasus was a kind jailer as on his birthday he gives all prisoners their fill of ale. After chugging several goblets of ale Dan discovered a spork hidden in a bowl dragon tail stew.
Unfortunately, it's flimsy and half melted and practically useless.
Fortunately(?), many things in life are, so he manages to make it suffice.
Unfortunately it breaks before he can do anything useful with it.
fortunately the part of the spork that didn't break was sharp and pointy...
Unfortunately, it's now stuck in his thigh... ouch.
Fortunately, he didn't need that thigh anyways.
*biff it*
Optional:
Nobody really likes that much poultry anyway.
Unfortunately, he does need that piece of spork... and it's really stuck.
Fortunately, I was there to help him out in his crisis of need even if he doesnt say thanks to me much
Unfortunately you were in no mood to help him out on this particular occasion.
fortunately Zedd was entertained as Dan hopped around like a hairless yowler monkey in his loincloth.
Unfortunately, the guards weren't amused and hauled them both off to a prison cell.
Fortunately, It had free basic cable!
Unfortunately it had no television set.
Fortunately dan was able to pull the offending piece of spork from his leg in time to stabe one of the guards and make a break for it...leaving Zedd behind to have his way with the other guard, a small roo rat sized guard who looks almost exactly like jyrras.
Unfortunately, that IS Jyrras, and now he's got Zedd staring him down like he's lunch...
Fortunately, I do him a favor and swallow down his sarrow he's built up through the years
Unfortunately, Charline shows up to cause more misery to the horribly overabused roo-rat :[ D:
Fortunately, in the confusion that Charline causes, Dan is able to save Jyrras and get them both to safety.
Unfortunately, Charline follows them.
Fortunately, Zedd distracts her long enough for Dan and Jy to lose her.
unfortunately, as a result Jyrras has now developed a man crush on Dan.
Fortunately, they have already had that little talk so Jy is able to repress those feelings... at least until they're completely out of harms way.
unfortunately the guard he stabbed was Merlitz in disguise and now the tigerman is now very pissed ...with the flaming wings and everything.
Fortunately, Dan's incubi powers instinctively kick in and they have an epic battle, but find themselves evenly matched... so they decide to settle things with a game of poker.
Unfortunately, everyone has one too any drinks and the game become strip poker...then Aaryanna shows up and finds her boyfriend, Merlitz, playing it...
Fortunately she decides to join the game.
unfortunately, this gives Dark Pegasus the opportunity he was waiting for to possess daniel with his ghostly powers of evil.
Fortunately, Dan's cubi powers come to the rescue again and block Dark Pegasus at every turn.
Unfortunately, this still means we now have two unstable drunk cubi, an unstable drunk fire mage, and an unstable drunk supergenius roo-rat all playing strip poker. Just try saying this situation isn't going to explode like a powder keg any second >:3
Fortunately everyone's enjoying the game right now.
Unfortunately, Dark Pegasus decides to possess Jy instead.
Fortunately, Jyrras--and the others--are so inebrated that it's absolutely pointless.
Unfortunately, Dark Pegasus is persistant.
Fortunately he's now too drunk and too smitten with Aaryanna's boobs to possess anyone.
unfortunately being a ghost, even an inebriated one, Dark Pegasus still manages to posses ... DEATH BRINGER.
Fortunately, Jy (even in his drunken state) is able to extract Dark Pegasus from Deebs.
Unfortunately the spirit of Dark Pegasus now possesses Jyrrass, and they are stuck that way...as in the way Judas is attached to eve... Jyrrass starts dressing up as Blood Rayne and goes on a killing rampage that would make Aniz, Kria, and Drip proud every time time the Roo Rat's blood is spilled.
Fortunately that was all just a drunken rant from Dark Pegasus instead of really happening since he's still too drunk to take possession of anyone or anything.
Unfortunately, he's done ranting now...
Fortunately he's too preoccupied with Aaryanna's boobs to possess anyone or anything.
unfortunatly for Dark Pegasus anyways Aaryanna sees him and and put's his soul in a plastic bottle and burns it with a flamethrower.
Fortunately she's quite alright with the others admiring her boobs.
Unfortunately, I dont cause I have my reasons and I get sick and loose my buzz thanks to Aaryanna.
Fortunately, (for the others) Lorenda walks in after just waking up and is annoyed by Zedd, and eats him like she did those salesmen... >:3 >:3 >:3
unfortunately those sales men come back to haunt lorenda and her mother forever
Fortunately, I burst from Lorendas ribcage and leave the game and letting the DMFA cast deal with their own problems
unfortunately this game must make way for a new unfortunate/Fortunate thread, because threads usually wrap themselves up by the 25th page.
Fortunately, I'll start the new one once a mod decides to do something with this one :)
Unfortunately, the mods are waiting for page 30, or 900 posts. :-P
Fortunately, that means we can keep going with this one.
Unfortunately, Everyone spent their freetime riding the Vomit Comet rollercoaster
Fortunately, everyone went to ride the Smooth Moves rollercoaster after that.
Unfortunately we only have time for one more story so let's get the ball rolling.
There was once a girl who bought a Squirrel costume from...."Spells R Us", and I believe that is unfortunate enough for the next poster.
fortunatly i really can't think of a witty remark :cry
Unfortunately, I can.
Fortunately, I've come to the rescue. It seems that the squirrel costume had a spell woven into it that allowed the wearer to become a squirrel, and change back at will.
Unfortunately, that meant only when Wil Wheaton was in the room...
Fortunately the truth is she can turn into a boy as long as she is in the presence of anyone else.
unfortunately for me i have no idea who wil wheaton is so I'm just going to leave it at poop
Fortunately Wilford Brimley comes along with everyone so people can understand Quaker Oatmeal is the best,Liberty medical helps you with all you diabeetus needs,and gives you copies of Cocoon 1 & 2, and Ewoks:The Battle for Endor with his autographing!
Unfortunately, none of that has anything to do with the girl in the squirrel costume... which she abandons for something more appropriate... like a police officer's uniform.
Fortunately, it's a police uniform of the Erossus Knights (http://www.dominic-deegan.com/view.php?date=2004-05-17). ;-]
Unfortunately, she mistakenly takes the male counterpart of those uniforms.
Fortunately, it wasn't really a mistake.
Unfortunately, she couldn't buy it because it was a floor model.
Fortunately she was able to buy the female model of the costume, but for all the trouble she had getting it on, all it accomplishes is making her look like a Naughty Squirrel wannabe...like Mab dressed in a kinky leather and lace number from victoria's Secret...
Unfortunately, now no one's going to be able to look at Mab without picturing her in that...
Fortunately that's not really an unfortunately. >:3
Unfortunately... that's very very true.
Fortunately, we can now move on with the story, and start talking about how the girl in the Squirrel Costume is getting on.
Unfortunately, she's not getting on very well. The other costume she bought doesn't fit.
Fortunately, she still has the original Squirrel Costume.
unfortunately since she's now fused with the squirrel costume that isn't helping...all she can think about is nuts.
Fortunately, she likes nuts.
unfortunatly the girl in the squirrel costum got married with a guy in a magical squirrel costum had ten children all wearing squirrel costums and they all lived happily ever after
fortunately that means I get to pick the next story...again.
Spells R' Us is a magical store which specializes in turning people into furries or big breasted hotties. Fortunately Steve walked out of the store unharmed.
Unfortunately, he's being followed by an employee hellbent on turning him into a big breasted hottie.
Fortunately Steve loses the employee in the parking lot outside, when a huge meteorite crashes into the taco bell across the street, creating a giant mutant burrito that wishes to destroy the city.
Unfortunately, he runs into another one, only this one is hellbent on turning him into a furry.
Fortunately the burrito hellbent on turning him into a furry doesn't want to destroy the city.
Unfortunately, it -does- manage to turn him into a furry.
Fortunately, it's only temporary.
(Burrito? WTF?)
Unfortunately, "temporary" is a vague concept that, in this case, stretches to, oh, a couple of thousand years.
Fortunately, in this case, it's 15 minutes.
unfortunately after the 15 minutes he then becomes a female furry, and Steve still has to take down the mutant burritos.
fortunately after fifteen minutes of hiding he not only becomes a girl but the mostly forgotten sailor moon
Unfortunately it's the day Sailor moon got her powers from Luna...and she hasn't shaved her legs in a week making her furry.
Fortunately, The best way of defeating the monster mexican meal is by consuming it
unfortunately the burrito is the size of a car. and Sailor moon would have to physically n hinge her jaw like this :U in order to consume 1/10 of the burrito.
Fortunately, they've got a world-class competetive eater who's more than willing to take the challenge of eating thos giant burrito.
Unfortunately, said world-class competitor fails.
fortunately poof ten other world class eating machines come
Unfortunately upon sight of the giant mutant burritos, they all suddenly decide to go into retirement.
fortunately they often lie to their wives and or husbands and are really playing the stock market...
Unfortunately, that does nothing to stop the burritos.
fortunately Sailor Moon is there with the rest of the planet crew ...and Pluto who isn't named after a planet. It's fortunate that defending love and justice works up a mighty apatite, and if they work together and believe in themselves they may just be able to defeat the mutant space Burrito's.
as you can see the sailor scouts have started to unhinge their jaws, there they all are standing in a row...
:U sailor Venus :U sailor Mercury :U Sailor Moooooon and the rest :U :U :U :U :U :U
Unfortunately, eating mutant burritos isn't going to do nice things to their digestive systems.
fortunately what goes in the front end isn't as bad as what comes out the back end.
unfortunatly the waste of the burritos become radio active and mutate three monkeys into pirate monkeys who spend their time downloading anime on bitlord
fortunately the only part of what just happened that made any sense was the radioactive waste of the burrito's turned the sailor scouts poop into monkeys who liked downloading pirated anime from bitlord. however, bitlord is very angry at the monkeys and sends his evil minions of doom to destroy them.
unfortunately salor moons anal dwelling butt monkeys have made a truce with the bitlord in hopes that the magical mushroom combine forces could be shoomped into space by the evil mega bopper
Fortunately, this is all just one really wierd commercial for Spells 'R' Us, which is being watched by Steve's brother Paul, who decides to go check it out.
unfortunately paul isn't going to be paul much longer if he goes over there.
Fortunately, he gets turned into a Yeti, and the difference really isn't all that noticeable. If the room is dark. And nobody has any sense of smell. And is wearing headphones with loud music playing on them. And nobody minds the occasional bludgeoning by a large, hairy, smelly, semimystical creature.
Unfortunately, there is a grue behind him.
Fortunately, he knows how to get away.
Unfortunately, it's the grue that knows how to get away.
Fortunately for Paul, the grue gets away without eating Paul.
Unfortunately the grue is, or was his girlfriend Meridith.
Fortunately the reason he broke up with her was because she was a money-sucking leech.
unfortunately she still used a chainsaw to cut his furniture in half, burned his clothesm and keyed his car...and that was all within the last 5 minutes.
Fortunately, that was all the stuff she bought him.
unfortunately he was still using it.
Fortunately, while she was busy destroying all the things she bought him, he was able to get away without her noticing, and get over to Spells 'R' Us... maybe they had spells that worked on grues.
unfortunately he found an ugly hag hell bent on turning him into a carmel coated sand worm.
Fortunately, the hag is blind as a bat and ends up trying to cast that spell on a fire hydrant.
Unfortunately, it worked, and now the carmel coated sand worm is after him as well.
... at least it's not a caramel coated sand worm. Those are -serious- trouble...
Fortunately, he is able to get away and made it to Spells R Us.
Unfortunately, so did the sand worm.
Fortunately, the sand worm is just there as a customer.
Unfortunately, so is Paul... so now they're both being targeted by bored employees.
fortunately the sand worm is turned in to a big breasted woman named Sandy.
Unfortunately, she's friends with Spongebob.