[Fiction] I write things, you read them! (Updated 3/25/14)

[Yugo]

It's been so long since I've been here that I thought it might be better to start a new thread. (And my old writing would best be forgotten!) This is going to be fiction only, no poetry.

3/25/14: Night in Lindenton

Keaton asked that I write her a short story in her verse featuring the psychopathic as-GAK! I mean wonderful Halloween and his lieutenant Zaell. Comments welcome here and at Weasyl.

[Tapewolf]

Oh, so you wrote that!  I read the thing this morning.  It definitely had Sunblink written all over it :p

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Huh. I feel I should point out, Weasyl won't let me read that unless I register an account. Just so you know...

[Yugo]

Thoughts? What you liked the most/least? You always have a lot to say, so I want to hear what you think, Tape.

[Tapewolf]

Thoughts? What you liked the most/least? You always have a lot to say, so I want to hear what you think, Tape.

I enjoyed it.  It was well-written, dark but not overly so (with the possible exception of the description of the sacrifice).

[spoiler]I wasn't sure whether to be relieved or disappointed when the merc didn't kill him at the end.  I mean, he is the protagonist but nasty enough that killing him off wouldn't have been uncalled for.  It was an interesting moral dilemma.
[/spoiler]

In a lot of ways it reminded me of my own ongoing story about Jakob and Keaton's first meeting.  It captured the dark medieval feel quite well.

Except for the vinyl-bound book - that felt conspicuously out-of-place.

[Yugo]

Something that merits further revision then. I'm glad you liked it so much.