2019-06-03 Aces

[killpurakat]

So... love today's little exploration of Aces for Pride month. As an Ace myself, I always like seeing a bit of representation.

My only qualm is that Abel's shirt does not exist AND IT SHOULD. Can you please maybe make that design into a shirt, Amber? Maybe with a mini-Abel on it (or on the back)?

(And for those saying to just Google it and plenty of places sell those shirts, no, they don't. They sell shirts saying "I've got an ACE up my sleeve (It's me I'm ACE and I'm in these sleeves)", which really isn't the same. Abel's is nicer and catchier.)

[LoneHowler]

I want that shirt too

[Drakkenmensch]

Abel is a hand full of all aces, but he's not cheating at the game. <3

[Raskahn]

*delurks*

Abel has been an example of how I've experienced at least some part of the past 10 or so years, mostly alone by choice (but in no way regretting that decision) and surrounded by an air of mystery for most others.
You don't have to be made of stone i.m.o. but, when your basic reaction to relations, love and intimacy is "Mêh, I'll pass." it eventually starts a long process of self reflection and discovering what makes you happy in life if not all these text book examples.

Current times seem to be obsessed with sticking labels on yourself and avoiding putting them on others but here's hoping it will at least provide some clarity and solice for some in helping them to lead a happy and content life, whatever box you tick    

[Jasonrevall]

Oh hey look sometimes life is sunshine and cookies. Abel is just so friggin cute I love his outfit. Also I know someone who'd love a shirt like that lol I wonder if it can be made or if it exists?

[Akisohida]

Thank you for Abel, Amber.

As an Asexual, I had it hard up until 2016:
Many of you know I was homeless in 2016; I was fleeing physical and emotional abuse at the hands of someone I trusted and moved in with. That troglodyte did not believe I was autistic, for one, and the other sticking point was my being Asexual.
He would frequently point out my lack of a girlfriend or boyfriend and say my not wanting one was an 'excuse' because I was ugly, or stupid, or lazy, or not successful. That NORMAL people wanted to date. NORMAL people wanted to have sex. 'That (Asexual) is just a fad word' and 'There's no such thing'.
Keep in mind, this is the same man who:
1) Refused to believe 'Half-Brother' is a thing (It's a full brother or a STEP brother! - The troglodyte) 
2) Refused to believe 'anesthesiologist' is a real job. That my going to one for my chest was further proof that I was stupid, because I had gotten tricked into going to a quack.
3) Left a permanent gouge over my right eye when he belted me when I argued that breathing into a paper bag is NOT as effective as having an inhailor, because he did not want me spending money on something for me that he could otherwise spend on his video games.

So yeah, he's pretty damn stupid. And he is 56 or 57 as of now. So being young was no excuse. I met him when he was 49.

The rambling point is thus: Thank you for Abel, and making him be normal, and showing that Asexuality IS normal.
And thank you for a webcomic I have loved to read for years, as well.

[JamesCray]

Another Ace thanking you for Abel, Amber. I also have to concur with several others in this thread that I want that shirt, and I don't even usually wear T-shirts outside the house!

[Akktari]

Another ace joining in. I've pretty much come to terms that that is what I am. And it was my husband who suggested I look into it. My doctor doesn't believe me though and wants us to see a sex therapist.

I love Abel! 

[Sofox]

I really don't talk about my sexuality, partly because I haven't figured it out.... but in the spirit of pride month and because one of my fav DMFA characters is in the spotlight, I have to admit that I think "asexuality" hits pretty close to the mark for me. It took me a long time to realise that most people have a strong desire to have sex with certain people and that motivates their actions. It's not like I can't be attracted to some people, or have something akin to a "crush", but I never imagine the sexual element because for me I'm not even sure how that would link into it or improve anything. I want to get to know people for their company, connection, humour, conversation and generally good time.

Of course, it's not purely that simple, and I'm not ruling out relationships or sex itself, but hey; sometimes you've got to call a spade a spade!

[Raskahn]

sometimes you've got to call a spade a spade!

Heh, I see what you did there...

[The One Guy]

...I guess since everyone's speaking up about themselves, I might as well throw myself in.  I'm not asexual by any means, but what I am is aromantic.  I've never been in a relationship, or fallen in love, or even had a crush on anyone; I just don't seem capable of romantic attraction.  I do feel kind of awkward bringing this up, though, not because I'm afraid to admit it, but because I don't really consider it part of my identity in the same way that many do, and I can't really relate to the struggles of the LGBT community; I just came to realize one day that yeah, I guess that label does describe me, and then continued on with my life.  But I figured I might as well bring it up here just to put it out there.

[Drakkenmensch]

Several of my friends just discovered this week that they were asexual and that it's perfectly normal, seeing them relieved that they were in fact NOT broken was a big happy moment for us all! Thank you Abel for shining a spotlight on aces who need more love.

[Xaphan]

So, I made an account just to ask this question...
Abel's shirt has the ace of spades on it.
Traditionally, spades is used for aromantic aces, whereas the ace of hearts is romantic aces*.
Aromantic does fit his character, I think, but given that Abel is currently trying out a relationship with a certain inventor**, and given aro had a separate page today... was this intentional?

*Presumably, diamonds are for aces who are really into shiny things, and clubs is probably something to do with thruples.
**I forget which one, possibly Tony Stark?

[Grey Wolf]

So, I made an account just to ask this question...
Abel's shirt has the ace of spades on it.
Traditionally, spades is used for aromantic aces, whereas the ace of hearts is romantic aces*.
Aromantic does fit his character, I think, but given that Abel is currently trying out a relationship with a certain inventor**, and given aro had a separate page today... was this intentional?

*Presumably, diamonds are for aces who are really into shiny things, and clubs is probably something to do with thruples.
**I forget which one, possibly Tony Stark?

Spade is also kind of the "default" ace symbol. You can (and people often do, especially during ace visibility week) break it up into subtypes!
I think clubs is questioning?

You're one of us! If you want to be

[killpurakat]

So, I made an account just to ask this question...
Abel's shirt has the ace of spades on it.
Traditionally, spades is used for aromantic aces, whereas the ace of hearts is romantic aces*.
Aromantic does fit his character, I think, but given that Abel is currently trying out a relationship with a certain inventor**, and given aro had a separate page today... was this intentional?

*Presumably, diamonds are for aces who are really into shiny things, and clubs is probably something to do with thruples.
**I forget which one, possibly Tony Stark?

I've been in the ace community for awhile and never heard of the spade only being for ace aros and the heart being for aces of other romanticisms. The spade just means aces. Not that it can't have evolved over the years, but keeping things simple seems to work better than trying to put a bunch of symbolism into common shapes (new comers can get confused and feel very unwelcome if the inside lingo is too complex).

In most card sets, the hearts, diamonds, and clubs *may* have a big symbol, but also might not. But usually, the spade is always a big front and center thing, and if you say "Ace," the spade is the card referred to (in drawings and such; like, seriously, unless another suit is mentioned, it is ALWAYS the Ace of Spades) because it is iconic outside of sexualities and romanticisms. And hearts, diamonds, and clubs all have other meanings separate from sexualities (hearts are universal love, diamonds are just a parallelogram, and clubs look like shamrocks/clovers so they usually mean Irish, and the Irish don't like people stepping on their territory... just ask the British ).

Even when you put the ace flag on the other symbols, they can be interpreted to just be ace pride, not anything more specific, so Abel having a spade on his shirt just means he's an Ace. And we actually don't know his romanticism anyway, since he kind of just decided to try things with Jyrras (who still doesn't know what he is), and then got flattened by a dragon and hasn't been seen since and now I'm sad and worried for him all over again... 

[killpurakat]

Just realized that people here might be interested in the "Aces Wild" comics on Deviantart by Sally Vinter. Lots of good stuff in there about aces and the ace community and all.

Here's a link to the gallery just for the "Aces Wild" comic (but reverse order, because... Deviantart):
https://www.deviantart.com/sallyvinter/gallery/63329389/Aces-Wild

[Amber Williams]

I admit it wasn't until about 4 hours after posting the comic did I learn there was a symbolism for the card suits, so in this case Abel's shirt is just to imply Ace and nothing regarding his romantic nature.  Also because using the shape like hearts or diamonds would more likely consider someone to read it as "There's a heart/diamond up these sleeves" where as the spade tends to register to the average bean as an ace symbol.

But, it is something neat to have learned.