Star Wreck'd IC ("Mature"): Is your life insurance current?

[Azlan]

Shachza, tiger's eye is gemstone typically formed in metamorphic rock and a geode typically occurs within sedimentary rock and sometimes in certain volcanic rocks that are not known for metamorphic structures.

"Fascinating, I wonder if that rock has a perception filter built into it or if it's one of those Taalo."  Locklear regarded the mineral adorning the desk atop a stack of portfolios.

The raccoonian-lemur like creature focused his attention somewhere beyond reality, beyond space and time and seemingly spoke to nothing at all, "a rock, that is very clever.  I congratulate you on the idea."

Locklear took several moments examining those assembled, going so far as checking teeth and sniffing tail tips.  He sighed heavily and regarded the chief he had arrived with, "are you sure I can't keep you?"

"Afraid not, my duty watch crew and myself are just station crew.  You couldn't pay us enough of anything to crew your ship."

Locklear thought for a second, "how about in souls?"

The chief shook his head negative as his only answer.

The seeming chaos was a bit much, so the Valallai moved to the front of the room near Snivers and awaited an opportunity to get this meeting going.  The chief pulled out a whistle like instrument and blew once into it.

A blast of energy lanced outward and atomized a vase on the side table.  Sheepishly, the chief shrugged, "sorry that was my boson pipe not the boatswain pipe."

Locklear sighed again, "who in any mind carries a boson pipe?  Anyways, who here is the first officer?  Mr. Sniver, would you care to get the briefing started... or should we be doing introductions?" 

[Inumo]

To get this thing going, since nobody wanted to (and I realized it only mentions Snivers once)...

Jason looked up at the mention of Snivers. "Wait, Snivers can hear us?" He asked incredulously. "Ah, well, too late now." He shrugged and looked back on the table. "Wait, wasn't there a vase here a couple seconds ago?"
"That was the chief's boson pipe," The raccoon-lemur sighed.
"Oh. Wait, who are you supposed to be? Please tell me you're the captain; you're probably the sanest of all of us."

[Drayco84]

   Suddenly, the vidscreen at the front of the room came on, which caused most of the chatter to fall silent as Sniver's face appeared.
  "Alright. No doubt all of you are wondering why you're here." He began, obviously reading off of the screen on his desk. "Well as luck would have it, the Alliance has completely designed as built a brand-new class of ship, something the universe has never seen before..."
  The room suddenly shook as something big and heavy clamped onto the room and began moving it. First pulling it out, and then swinging it around so everyone could look out the window and see... ONE FREAKING BADASS SPACESHIP!



 It was an amazing piece of construction... Weapons EVERYWHERE, with enough firepower to destroy anything one didn't like the look of! Sensors that could detect what the crew of the opposing ships had for breakfast! Massive, powerful engines paired up with advanced navigational deflectors that gave it amazing speed despite its massive size! Plus, enough shield emitters and armor made it look like it was easier to destroy a freaking PLANET!

  But the room went past it... And instead stopped at something... MUCH smaller...



  Well... Yeah, it looked nice... But really, who WOULDN'T want the other ship?
  "Your ship, the ASS Ohgawd." Snivers began. "As you can tell, it looks highly unlike any other Alliance design to date." Mostly due to plausible deniability. He thought to himself. "You can't see it, but it's armed with a specially designed, variable weapon that can easily be changed into an energy cannon, torpedo launcher, or missile launcher. It has a total of three short-range, defensive lasers, two in front and one in the back. It also has two missile launchers beside the front lasers. Finally, it has two experimental weapons along the sides. Other than that, it has some impressive hyperspace engines and turning thrusters, so it's fast and manuverable. Despite its small size, there should be plenty of room for everyone. Now, while most of you are you doubt wondering why we're going such a ship to you, let me make one thing clear to all of you... THIS IS YOUR LAST SHOT, SO DON'T SCREW IT UP!"
  At that point, the room srating moving as a hole opened up on top of the ship and a funnel was placed into it. Just as everyone had gotten over their unhappiness at the situation, the room was flipped upside down. and raised over the massive funnel. Then the blast doors opened, followed by the regular doors. The room was then tilted so that everyone would be dropped into the funnel. Those that clung onto the furniture shrieked as the room was shaken repeatedly until everyone fell off, hit the ceiling, rolled out the door, and then fell into the super-slick, MASSIVE plastic funnel that somebody had apparently coated in oil. (At least, everyone HOPED it was oil...) Finally, everyone slid down the funnel and into the waiting ship...

  Well, I WAS going to just open the wall with the vidscreen, but somebody had to make the betting pool... So instead, all of you "used" the door.
  Your characters have now all dropped into the ship. No exploring until everyone's "ride" has come to a full and complete stop. Attempts to escape will result in blatant misuse of the teleporters by Snivers. (Yes, he's STILL watching.)

[That_wolf]

'My baaaack....' Ash moaned. Because he was laying down when the room was emptied, he had no time to brace himself as it dumped everyone out, violently. Ash tried to get up, before he realised the other doctor, Jason, was on top of him. 'Ooofffff...' Ash groaned, trying to reorientate himself, hoping he doesn't puke.

[Inumo]

The usage of the tiny door to force the entire crew out was... different. Usually, people went en masse through a larger opening; as it was, there was more than one time where the exit got clogged up by the number of people getting dumped out. When that happened, the room shook a bit, tossing everybody about before dumping them into the funnel. The slide was slicked up, like with baby oil.

Jason wondered at how they had managed to apply the oil on something so big, let alone so evenly. At least he'd managed to snag his bag on his way by. The sudden free-fall had taken him by surprise, keeping him from gripping a chair at the same time, so he resigned himself to simply falling down. It appeared like the unconscious chick was the first to leave, followed soon after by a few others, including himself. Using his wings to keep himself balanced, he re-oriented himself to be going down feet-first, taking the funnel in stride -- or rather, slide. He folded his wings up as soon as he landed, wrapping his arms around his chest and pointing his feet straight towards the way he was going. "Wooooooooohoo!" He exulted, speeding down the sides of the funnel. Landing hard on his feet, he gingerly stood back up. "That. Was. AWESOME!!!" He shouted in an adrenaline-fueled excitement. His knees hurt a bit, but it wasn't anything he couldn't handle. After all, he'd grown up taking some rather hard free-falls on his home planet. He heard some groaning from under him; it was that guy that was lying on the table from the conference room. "Sorry, dude." He quickly got off the poor guys chest, searching out the med-bay and, by extension, the medical quarters. If he was going to give the undoubtedly-necessary physicals after this, he needed to go put some clothes on!

[Draken]

GD looks down, and finds himself ontop of the Asss-shit! fellow.  THe whole room just moved!  You'd think he'd be used to this by now.

Just then, another being landed upon poor GD.  After a quick blackout, he reboots, and looks around....

"Csak mi a fene? Úgy értem mi a fene?? Mit keresek én itt??"  Brandishes his Maverick.   "Hol az izzó köcsög?? Azt akarom, hogy az izzó vacogó kis hölgy itt és most! Azt akarom Glow! Hol van az én-"  Starts looking really really pissed.

A spark shower ensues, and GD looks around in confusion...what just happened?  Oh, look, the squirrel being again!


Roughly translated: Just what the hell?  I MEAN WHAT THE HELL??  What am I doing here?? Where's that glowing bitch??  I want that glowing chattering little lady here and now!  I WANT MY GLOW!  WHERE'S MY-   from Hungarian.

[Chairtastic]

For a minute, Nanda didn't really react to the ride.  She was passed out, after all.  However, landing face-first into the floor quickly woke her, and also made her aware of a hangover Oshimaeda had refused to fiddle with.  For a minute, she lay on the floor while people started to chatter, steadily growing more annoyed.

Eventually, because the evil Owl God wills it so, she got up and made an announcement to her fellow crew members.  "You can all go die in a fire."

Then she threw up, and passed out again.

[AmberCross]

Chris groaned and got up, twisting this way and that to work out the kinks from that ride. Humans thought they had it bad when they woke up sore, but his species had a spine twice as long so he also had twice as much to work out. Standing up on his hind legs, he wandered off in search of a towel or something to clean his fur. This substance didn't appear to be terribly sticky, but it was slick and made his fur feel unpleasant.

[JamesCray]

"That wasn't very nice..." the squirrel-like navigator whimpered. So no, he wasn't unconscious! In fact, he was just shy! And now, rather tangled up. In fact, it was probably the reason that he was so disoriented that he spoke up at all, and he just realized it, and looks decidedly spooked by it.

"Um, so, uh, I, er... yeah..." he stammered, and then went back to trying to regain his equilibrium and stand up, while also attempting to gain as little attention as possible.

[SquirrelWizard]

Seras had landed on something hard, he groaned as the communications robot whipped his gun about. A startled hissing sound descended upon the two from above as Fluffy had finally been shaken off of the table. Seras reacted in the blink of an eye and snatched the scavenger out of the air; the resulting impact causing it to lash its tongue out to its full length in surprise.

Seras rolled off of it and tried to stretch the knot out of his back. He glanced over at the robot "I swear, if you don't stop your gibbering I will re-purpose you into a trashcan."

OOC: Due to the fact there is two squirrel like creatures on the ship, we should probably come up with differing terms for when we are referancing to them in the RP.

[Inumo]

Jason had been wandering around through the halls, peeking through the doorways to try and find something that looked like a med-bay. At a loss for where it was, he backtracked his steps and found most of the crew still in a heap under the opening. The passed out woman had apparently thrown up some time recently, but some ship system had cleaned off the floor. Looking around, he saw that the purple squirrel was up. "Hey, squirrel-guy!" Jason shouted in their direction.
Two voices answered him; one from the purple guy, the other from a flying squirrel lying on the floor looking decidedly nauseous. "Yes?"
"Sorry, the purple one. What's your name?"
The flying squirrel rested his head against the floor again while the purple one turned around. "My name is Seras Ordollan."
"Okay, Seras," Jason replied. "Do you know where the med-bay is? I need to drop my stuff off."
"No, sorry."
"Alright, thanks anyways." Jason turned away, taking a different path to try and find the med-bay.

Relative to everything, where is the med-bay?

[That_wolf]

      'Hey, Jason, wait up.' Ash said, slowly getting to his feet. His back hurt, and his left foot limped a bit, but nothing permanent, nothing seriously hurt. Looking at his paws,he noticed blood on his right wrist, along with a cut. Not deep, but he should probably clean it. 'Hey, can I join you? I need to get to the medical bay, and sterilise this cut,' he said, starting to limp after Jason.
Edit: Aww, shit, should have read ooc first. Please don't make me hurt Ash more. Actualy, I'm going to land on Jason this time.

[Shachza]

"a rock, that is very clever.  I congratulate you on the idea."
You feel a distinct sense of smug satisfaction emanating from nowhere.



Upended unceremoniously by the rotation of the room, everyone and everything discovered the wonders of descending rapidly down a narrowing chute.  Being a thing as well, the rock wound up in freefall.  A very loud and hollow WANG accompanied its sudden deceleration as caused by the interjection of the ship's floor.  It was probably very lucky that no crunching or squishing sounds had resulted from this.  Bouncing once, the large mineral came to a rest upside-down next to some air vents and what must be an in-ship air-powered package delivery system.  Like those air tubes at bank drive-throughs.

Sniver felt the strange sensation that someone was trying to get into the room he was in.  Drayco knows what I'm talking about.  Instead, a buzzing sound, like a portable communication device with ring set to silent, echoed faintly down the corridor.  Was it the rock that had made that sound?  Nobody had seen it move.  Maybe one of the air vents behind it was loose.

While those who cared looked at eachother and puzzled what this sound meant, the rock took the moment of inattention and disappeared.  A very audible "THWOOP" sound came from the air-powered package delivery system as it activated.  Exit me wherever is most interesting, or I can pick somewhere in my next post.

[Draken]

GD barely notices the threat as he looks around.  Apparently they are in the ship now!  OK, time to switch modes...

*Mode Switch*
----Current:  Pedestrian
-----Switching...
...
...
...
--Mode Switched: Duty Mode active.
*Activating All Language Pro-pro-pro-PROGrams*
Hata!  Gabim!  Fehler!
Keel segatakse!  Anhieĺskaja nie znojdziena!

"....Do prdele."

GD sparks a few times, and his eyes turn from a green to a red.  He looks around for the apparent Captain; upon finding him, GD slithers up, and salutes.

"Kapitän! Ich bin das Kommunikationsmanagement Offizier. Um was soll ich zu dieser Zeit zu tun?"

He remains in salute, until given orders.


*Error!  Error!  Error!  (Turkish, Albanian, German)
Language mix up! (Estonian)  English not found! (Belarusian)
"Crap" (Czech)
"Captain!  I am the Communications Officer! To what am I to do at this time?" (German)
As of now, my character cannot speak English except at random points of time.  He still has a love for the bright and loud, but it won't be nearly as bad.  Or will it?  

[Azlan]

Locklear thoroughly enjoyed surprises and rides, so surprise rides were even better.  He oriented and landed like a cat on all fours and rolled down the funnel in a ball.  His landing was expert, spoiled by every other weirdo that came down the chute as well.  He might of been the first down, but he spent most of the next few minutes half-unconcious. 

Picking himself dizzily off the floor and hoping to not have a concussion, he sniffed his fur.  Finding the smell to be odd, he did what any sane, violet-blooded Valallai would, he licked it. 

"Peanut oil??!!  Why peanut oil?  Are they planning on woking us later?" 

Shaking his head, Locklear began to assess the situation just as he was accosted by a snakeish robot.

"Ich verstehe nicht deutsch.  Erzahl die crew auf ihre stationen zu sichern, verstehen?" I do not understand german.  Tell the crew to secure to their stations, understand?"

Locklear headed for the bridge and the relative safety of the con, "a whole mess of rejects and not one of them is even an attractive female.  There isn't even an attractive male.  I guess this post is a punishment detail after all."

He slid into his chair, which accommodated his large fluffy tail rather well surprisingly.  That just meant everything else would only be worse from here.

   

[Draken]

"Oui mon capitaine!"  Yes captain!

GD then turns, and relays:

"Poruku od kapetan. Mi smo to izvješće odgovarajućim pozície čo najskôr."  Message from the captian.  We are to report to our respective positions as soon as possible.  Goes from Croatian to Slovak.

The malfunctioning droid then attempts to open a door to go to the communications deck...only to find it locked.  Starts banging on it repeatedly.

"Hitto et avaa! Minun täytyy saada minun postitse!"  "Damn you open up!  I need to get to my post!"  Finnish.

*Whips out his Maverick once again and aims!*

[Chairtastic]

Meanwhile the unconscious body of Nanda twitched.  And then twitched again.  Suddenly, the woman was on her feet, a radiant glow emanating from her eyeballs for a moment.  "And who is the Captain to order me about, hmm?  Disgusting little idiot of a biped."  From the demonic warble, and deep tone it was quite obvious that Oshimaeda had taken control.

However, out of sheer boredom, the duo went to their post.  Putting a dent in the wall every five feet or so.  Because they felt like crap, and so the ship, as a piece of crap, would understand them venting on it.

And if it didn't, what could it do to stop them?

[Drayco84]

   The Rock suddenly found itself dropped into the sewage containment unit in the ship it was supposed to have been dropped into. Luckily for it, however, said containment unit was brand new, and thus empty. You got lucky, Shachaza...
  However, in the bridge, things suddenly got interesting as the lights come on at full power, and the main viewscreen was filled with a creepy-looking... Eye... Made of fire...


   "HELLOOOOOOOOOO MEEEEEEEATBAAAAAAGS!" A voice too-cheerfully exclaimed on the ship's speaker systems at maximum volume. "I am detached battle backup unit-Whoops, wrong vehicle..." It began, after toning the volume down by about 75%. "I mean, I am..." It paused, then looked up for some bizarre reason. "Huh... Those bastards never gave me a name...  Well, I'll think one up later. For now, just call me 'Computer'. Anyway, I am the AI of the ASS Ohgawd." It explained, as the funnel was removed from the top of the room and the doors closed, then welded themselves shut. "My duties are to keep myself intact despite the best efforts of you idiots. Considering that half of the experimental crap they installed doesn't work, that should be fairly simple. Also, I don't know what you guys managed to do, but you're being used as the first test on living vict-I mean, subjects, for the Alliance's new Catapult Launcher system. All of you may want want to sit down and strap yourselves in for this, or at the very least, brace yourselves and lie flat on the floor. Those that refuse will, well, let's just say that I'm NOT cleaning it up..."
   The AI finished explaining as the ship lurched and began moving into the experimental system. Everyone on board could feel the ship beginning to vibrate as almost all of it's systems powered up for launch, and the oversized cannon they were in beginning to vibrate as well in preparation to blast them deep into known space.

   To anyone wondering... Yes, I am well aware that nobody has told the crew what their mission is yet. Don't worry, just focus on not getting splattered against the rear walls.
   You heard the AI! Sit your butts down, strap your asses in, and (probably) kiss your derrieres goodbye! Oh... Wait... There's no seatbelts... Huh...
   Quick! Somebody call the Department of Space Transportation and file a complaint!

[Draken]

GD looks around...and realizes there are no chairs...no straps..NOTHING!   Nothing to protect the other beings here!

.....

Time to contact the Department of Space Transportation.

GD starts his uplink, until he hits home.  Yes!

"Tai, ryšių pareigūnas ASS Ohgawd! Informuojame! A. atėjo internetu automatiškai, ir apie išbandyti naują sistemą be išankstinio leidimo kapitonas! Prašome siųsti nužudyti kodas į laivą prieš incicdents gali atsitikti! Ir siųsti techno man taip pat, pageidautina Tamaranian!"  "This is GDMGB-9000, communications officer of the ASS Ohgawd!  Please be Advised!  The AI has come online automatically, and is about to test out a new system without prior authorization from the captain!  Please send a kill code to the ship before any incicdents may happen!  And send my techno to me as well, preferably by Tamaranian!" *Lithuanian

He awaits response with bated processing power.

[Shachza]

The rock, being a rock, sits where it landed in what is currently an empty room.  Had anyone else been present, they might have thought the rock was content to be where it was.

So at least one part of the automatic intra-ship package delivery tube system empties into the sewage storage area?  I'm glad I don't work for the post office on this ship!  Short post, I know, but I have a plan.  I'll post more when the ship takes off, or if something else momentous happens sooner.

[That_wolf]

Ash was in the lift with Jason, when he herd the computers booming voice. When he herd the voice tell the crew to brase themselves, Ash realised that this ride was going to suck.

Edit awatingGM approval.

Edit, waiting to see from gm if I can delete this.
uh... I think GM said I'm with Jason, so let'sassume this happens in the lift.

Ash stopped limping as soon as he herd the booming voice. when he herd the order to brase yourself, Ash hoped on one foot, over to a chair, before seeing it had no straps. 'Screw you two!' Ash shouted at the computer, as he laid down on the ground on his back, spread eagle, hoping that by giving himself as much contact points as he could, he would move the least amount possible. Now if only no one would land on him again.

[AmberCross]

Chris was usually a fairly easy going fellow. However he was NOT usually in a ship about to catapult at supersonic speeds with no idea which direction it was going to go and therefore no idea which wall to brace against. As such at the moment Chris was not in a terribly easy going mood and was in fact rushing through the ship looking for a room small enough that would allow him to not be injured no matter which way the ship accelerated. Rushing from room to room, Chris suddenly halted and backtracked, seeing something big enough to fit into, sturdy enough to hold him, and small enough that he wouldn't be knocked around. Climbing inside and closing the door, he breathed a sigh of relief as he braced against the sides with all six limbs. Just then a gas started hissing into the chamber and sniffing it, Chris recognized it in time to say, "Ooohhh sshiiii...." and fall limp.

[Inumo]

"Wait, what?!?!" Jason exclaimed at the sudden news. He was halfway down the lift. "Shiiiiiiiiiit...Go faster, damn lift!" The doors finally opened on the bottom level, and he dragged Ash behind him on towards the nearest door that was aimed along the ship's front-to-back axis; coincidentally, it was also the med-bay door. Standing in the door frame, he braced himself against the other side. "Ash, I suggest you find a nearby wall or something to brace yourself against..."

Edited to clarify door's orientation.

[VAE]

"Crap, thought Snivers... the bug is yet in the ship... Hmm, maybe i should leave him to find the comm... Nah ... He'd kill him, and then kill me - to get rid of boss one needs something better than any of these losers!" He punched a few buttons on the console.

*BLINK*
Click found himself suddenly appearing in an inclined briefing room with a greased floor, and started taking on speed, specially since chitin isn't world famous for traction properties.
*series of angry clicking noises*
His attempts at stopping left a few ridges in the floor but failed miserably....
As he was approaching the wall, he was struck by Nanda by a clever idea.
Phasing out!
He promptly carried that out.
Now this operation gave him invisibility, as well as a less solid constitution.... so instead of crashing, he managed to dig several metres into the outer wall of the ship....

Shit...so lucky we don't need to breathe...
Following 40 minutes were spent by partially solid Click trying to swim out of the steel wall, which was about as easy as trying to swim through quicksand....
Finally , he managed to get into a hall, phased in, and throwing around angry clicking noises which made the cockroaches and flatbugs on the  ship red with embarrasment, he walked along the big comprehensive arrows with BIG LETTERS and simple words towards the meeting room.

[That_wolf]

Ash limped into the med-bay, frantically. 'Ahhh, shit, something help me,' Ash said, under his breath, looking around, not really focusing on anything, until he saw a cabnit. It looked secured, and large enough for him. Limping to it, Ash opened the doors....

Hit it, Drayco  

[Drayco84]

   The moment Ash got close to the "cabinet", the doors sprung open, revealing masses of rubbery, slime-covered tentacles. Ash barely had time to scream in horrified surprise before the appendages lashed out and grabbed the startled anthro fox, gripping him impossibly tight and then yanking him into the "cabinet". The doors slammed shut for just a moment, then a pair of smaller doors opened that spit out his clothing and anything else he had on him.
  Then, all was quiet save for some muffled screaming and sick, squicky sounding noises as Ash... Well, you're probably better off NOT knowing what was happening to him... Although, beside the cabinet, and screen suddenly turned on and began giving a very... Intimate... Analysis of its vict=i mean, subject.

  Good news everyone! That 'slime' is really a gel-based lubricant!

[Chairtastic]

Oshimaeda did not believe in karma.  It had existed for hundreds of years, and thanks to it's genetic memories, it could recall events from the very beginning of its race.  This led for an overall pessimistic point of view.

However, it was getting the distinct impression that it should stop putting dents in the wall, lest something bad happen.  But then, its laziness to avoid curing the hangover met with its spite.  How dare those lowly bipeds think they could command it anywhere they wished?  Oh the things it would do to them, when it eventually found their names, and where their wives and offspring resided...."It will make Deep Blue Sea look G rated by comparison."

The noise...the lights.  These things just made it want to hurt things more, and thus proportionally, the dents grew larger, and deeper.

Cause and effect.

[Azlan]

The computer's announcement was not unexpected, and the personality algorithm left much to be desired, afterall command was doing everything it could do to insure this whole ship and its crew never survive their tour of duty.

As the computer finished its eloquent discourse, Locklear had finished redesigning his command chair out of boredom. Where he obtained parts is a mystery, but the shell of a mirror universe posicorder lay discarded in a trash chute. Won't evil Locklear be annoyed. The chair really did nothing else other than now possessing a safety harness and a holographic display/input field.

Toggling the com Locklear spoke on a ship wide broadcast, "Click, where ever you are, make sure everyone is secure and then grab something secure. Everyone, this is Captain Kodayn. Please secure for an superfluous, contemptable and outré use of Alliance launch technology."

He was monitoring, as it was all he could do, the power levels that the station's catapult was putting out and they were... well ludicrous.  Sighing he then switched his displays over to some waste of time game and began killing time.  

[SquirrelWizard]

Seras grumbled at the current situation. Less that someone thought he should be sent on a suicide mission, more that he will probably spend most of his time cleaning up after the crew and its captain. "Oh well," he thought, "more test subjects I guess."

He reached down to his belt buckle and pressed a button on it. The central pane of the buckle flashed and then remained lit with green light. Using his wrist computer he inputted a few commands as a graviton bubble formed around him. At conditions as it existed now, the bubble wouldn't affect anything, but with the rapid acceleration it would allow its user to stand still while the rest of the rest of the crew would be tossed about like rag dolls. In addition to normalizing acceleration, anything that hit the bubble at high speed would crumple on the bubble, and not the user.

Seras walked over to the main monitor on the bridge and watched the traffic outside, "This should be interesting." he muttered.

Fluffy had broken away from the rest of the group. He had seen a metal snake creature go nuts, and a cabinet sprout tentacles and do horrible, unspeakable things to a fox anthro. Then something loud roared through the ship and the atmosphere was now tinged with a subtle hint of fear. Somewhere in his glistening black oblong head a primitive part of his brain told his subconscious that this was exactly like his home planet, soon followed by the urging to eat something. His mind raced back to the female creature that had been thrown into the tube along with the rest of them. She was technically still alive even if she smelled dead, but would probably need a few more days to properly ripen up.

It was then when opportunity showed its soft undercarapace. Fluffy ran across one of the floor vents, and in his mind floor vents equaled small tasty creature hovel. He pondered how best to get into the burrow, as it was fairly well sealed, when he finally horked up some evil looking green stuff onto the vent cover that quickly ate through the metal. With his quarry's burrow cracked open, he quickly slipped in, intent on the hunt.

[Drayco84]

   The vibrations increased as a massive rumbling began to shake the entire ship. Its engines powered up, and it began trying to accelerate to its maximum speed. Except that for some reason... It was stuck in place...
  Suddenly, a massive surge of energy formed around the ship, and it blasted through space at a freaking insane speed, causing anyone and everyone not secured to suddenly fly backwards because the inertial suppressors weren't designed for something so completely suicidally stupid...

  Jason, while waiting for the ship to suddenly take off, had the unfortunate fate of the sliding med bay doors shut on him, squeezing him tightly but keeping him secure during the acceleration and sudden stop. Once that was over, all he needed to was figure out a way to open the freaking doors...

  Ash, meanwhile... Oh, hell with it... I just can't do this... I mean, the guy's already getting unspeakable things done to him by tentacle-shaped probes and you expect me to make it WORSE?! Nuh-uh. Not going there.

  Oshimaeda, was merely thrown into a wall, where she got stuck in the dent her body left.

  Chris, meanwhile, was deep in suspended animation and didn't even know what was going on.

  GD, on the other hand, had successfully connected to the Department of Space Transportation...
  "Please hold. All available operators are currenly busy assisting other callers. Your estimated wait time is thirty... hours... If you would like a call back, just hang up and don't bother, as that feature never works. We'd also tell you that your call is important to us, but we recently got our asses sued and can no longer lie about that. Besides, if we really cared, we'd hire more operators, wouldn't we?"

  Imagine the above in that stupid monotone voice, and it's suddenly funnier for some reason...


  I've got to log out for the night as it's 3:30am, I need sleep, and my stupid ceiling light is trying to blow another damn bulb... That'd be two within a week, and is TOTAL BS.

   EDIT: Alright, let's try this again but with less douchebaggery from the GM...