[Art/Writing] Jairus: Merry Christmas

[Jairus]

You were afraid I wouldn't like that? Jeez, man, that was sublime.

Just out of curiosity, is this...

"And then what happened?!"

... what you were thinking when I ended Part 1?

The twist really made it feel real, both the outer story and the inner tale.

I kind of wanted part 1 to sound really overdone, like it was a big-time movie or a comic book or something, which is why I threw in all those little dramatic flares. I loved writing Johnny's line, though.

The bantering between the four friends made me giggle. And the last bit, in the head of Cor, gives a bit of insight into the character.

Did the banter sound natural? I don't want it to sound forced: these are people who have known each other for at least ten years or so. Also, what did you think about those four/five paragraphs telling exactly what really happened on that day? Did it make Corey sound better or worse? I mean, well, I don't know... which version sounds more awesome, if you will? For that matter, what do you think of him now that you've seen him in action and that we've seen him as he is when the book starts? (this is basically the prologue).

Bravo.

Again, thank you. But, no offense to you, I'm going to wait for a second opinion...

... crud, I just caught a typo or two... diving in! Thanks again for the comments!

EDIT: Six pages! Yes!

[Pagan]

It didn't sound forced to me, the banter between them. But then, I'm not the best critic. I'm liking Tarn more and more though, actually kissing Nick, she shameless, ain't she?
I think I actually like Corey a bit better. Looking at a character profile doesn't tell me who someone is, how they act does though. This might sound a little harsh, but in my head he's just a more serious Dan-clone. Once I've seen more and more of him, Corey should become his own person and have his own place in my mind. Again, I realize this sounds harsh, but I mean no insult by it. But really, who doesn't embellish a story, especially when surronded by a good crowd. If I only told the truth about my life-stories, no one would laugh. And that's just not fun.
Actually, that is the second thought I had. The first was "[bleeps] cut the story short!" The third was "Oh thank god, I don't have to wait awhole day for the next piece!"

So did he actually fight the undead knights and the Sariun and the chalice and rain-water stuff happen, is that what you meant by somethings don't need exageration?

[Jairus]

It didn't sound forced to me, the banter between them. But then, I'm not the best critic. I'm liking Tarn more and more though, actually kissing Nick, she shameless, ain't she?

She knows that Nick doesn't really like people touching him in a personal way, and you don't get much more personal than a kiss, do you? I think she might have a crush on him, though I don't know if the feelings are reciprocated.

I think I actually like Corey a bit better. Looking at a character profile doesn't tell me who someone is, how they act does though. This might sound a little harsh, but in my head he's just a more serious Dan-clone. Once I've seen more and more of him, Corey should become his own person and have his own place in my mind. Again, I realize this sounds harsh, but I mean no insult by it. But really, who doesn't embellish a story, especially when surronded by a good crowd. If I only told the truth about my life-stories, no one would laugh. And that's just not fun.

Well, in my mind Dan is basically classified with about fifty percent of all video game sword-wielding main characters, so I'm not offended. Besides, first impressions are important, and all you've seen him do is tell a story about one of his later adventures to a group of strangers and choke on some ale. It's worth noting that he doesn't always embellish his stories: a good deal of the time he tells them straight. But, come on, if you're telling an exciting story about your life to a six year old, you'd embellish it a little to. Every hero - even former heroes - likes to have admirers.

Actually, that is the second thought I had. The first was "[bleeps] cut the story short!" The third was "Oh thank god, I don't have to wait awhole day for the next piece!"

Well, I didn't have the second part written yet, aside from that interplay between Nick and Tarn, so I just decided to post what I had.

So did he actually fight the undead knights and the Sariun and the chalice and rain-water stuff happen, is that what you meant by somethings don't need exageration?

Yep.

Oh! And even though the ending of the tale was kinda truncated, it was interesting. I can definitly see the subversive style you were talking about.

Oy! You're not allowed to add something once I've responded to it! In all seriousness, it ends on a truncated note because I wasn't sure how to end it: given a little more time, I could probably add another page to it, but it's pretty long as it is. Besides, with a little work, this could become the prologue for the story of Terra, introducing six of our main characters (Ariel, Kyle, Francine, Cornelius, Tarn, and Nick... in order of age, of course) and kind of showcasing their relationships...

[Tapewolf]

That was a good read.  It certainly explains the Indiana Jones feel to the first chapter.
The flip-flopping between whether the story was real or not was a little aggravating to read at the time, though as Pagan says, it makes it feel more real, and that it was irritating is itself is a good sign because it means I got dragged into the story enough for me to care about it.

The only thing that left me feeling a bit dissatisfied was that Cornelius is a bit too close to Dan for comfort.  That is something that is liable to change as the story progresses, but for now the parallels are pretty obvious.

[Jairus]

That was a good read.  It certainly explains the Indiana Jones feel to the first chapter.

Well, most adventurers end up pulling a Jones story at some point in their life (and some of my characters who aren't adventurers). Plus, I guess that in a lot of ways Cornelius is like Indy: they're both somewhat cynical romantics, they're both genre-savvy heroes, and for both of them there's the possibility that their heroic side is just an act to cover-up how they really feels. Albeit, Indy tends to tune down his adventures when he's retelling them, but Corey's only a twenty-something while Indy was thirty or forty in the films... give Corey a few more years, and he'll start downplaying everything. "Neah, there were only a couple of zombies to worry about." Which might not be a good thing. I do know that by the time of the second story (the one where I know how it starts even though I don't know how this one ends), he's a world-weary cynic who barely even talks about his past, even with his friends.

The flip-flopping between whether the story was real or not was a little aggravating to read at the time, though as Pagan says, it makes it feel more real, and that it was irritating is itself is a good sign because it means I got dragged into the story enough for me to care about it.

Yeah, I will admit that was a little much. Of course, my original idea was that he was going to retell the story as it had really happened, so count your blessings while you can. Plus, if I had a best friend who was an adventurer, I'd probably tease him something terrible when he was telling his stories too. Any suggestions for that?

The only thing that left me feeling a bit dissatisfied was that Cornelius is a bit too close to Dan for comfort.  That is something that is liable to change as the story progresses, but for now the parallels are pretty obvious.

Hey, it's a first draft that I wrote with no notes in a couple of hours: I honestly wrote this whole thing as I was writing it out. It still needs some work... and this is meant to show us the characters as they are at the beginning of their adventures. You need to see the genre-savvy pirate captain, the governor's daughter who wants something different, and the blacksmith who would never dream of helping a pirate before you can show the captain doing something to help other people, the governor's daughter outright defying her father's wishes, and the blacksmith saving a pirate's life. You need to see the heroic braggart who doesn't play the hero anymore before he willingly steps into the role of a real hero for good, you need to see the timid nerd before he finally grows up and takes a stand for himself... well, I really can't reveal much else, now can I?

From a technical standpoint, any recommendations or things that you caught?

What, did no one catch the two references to Monty Python and the Holy Grail? I mean, they weren't much, but they're in there.

[Tapewolf]

From a technical standpoint, any recommendations or things that you caught?

None that I spotted, no.  I can go over it again if I have time.

What, did no one catch the two references to Monty Python and the Holy Grail? I mean, they weren't much, but they're in there.

Not one of my favourite films, so no.

[Jairus]

From a technical standpoint, any recommendations or things that you caught?

None that I spotted, no.  I can go over it again if I have time.

Okay, thanks. I want to improve whatever I can.

What, did no one catch the two references to Monty Python and the Holy Grail? I mean, they weren't much, but they're in there.

Not one of my favourite films, so no.

Ah, that's okay. They were kind of weird references. There was the mutated badger (a reference to the Trojan Badger Bedevere wanted to build after the Trojan Rabbit plan failed), Castle Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh's real name is Castle Stalker (original spelling Stalcair), the Chalice of Rebirth is kind of like the Holy Grail, and then the undead knights who did nothing but shout in a weird language and smack their helmets (the Frenchmen).

[Tapewolf]

Okay, it looks good to me.  The only question I have is this:
What kind of a thing is Cornelius?  I'm assuming he's a winged human rather than some kind of anthro creature, but it's not altogether clear.

[Jairus]

Okay, it looks good to me.  The only question I have is this:
What kind of a thing is Cornelius?  I'm assuming he's a winged human rather than some kind of anthro creature, but it's not altogether clear.

He's a Human. Sorry I didn't make it clearer, I kind of mentioned it in an earlier post. Cornelius is a human with what is believed to be a magical mutation (for example, the minor character Skaira (Dreksa's adopted son) has white hair because one or other of his parents worked with a lot of magic or were exposed to it). I've always had this kind of idea that natural magic in sufficient qualities acts like radiation, except instead of killing you it does funky things to your genes, which get passed on. Wyvern are the descendants of Saurians that spent a lot of time in high-magic areas. Adventurers and sorcerers and magical scientists spend so much time around magic that their kids sometimes are born with mutations, though they are rarely - if ever - dangerous to the parent or child (see Skaira's white hair): wings are rare, but they happen on occasional, though Corey is probably the only four-winged mutant. They also tend to be wizards, but that's a different story and slightly irregular. Sufficient qualities of magic can also screw with high technology, but no more than solar radiation does today (a little magical hardening of any computer does wonders). Wild magic does some weird stuff (to tell the truth, it's a bit of an homage to the Discworld, where more often than not wizards and wizardry are treated like nuclear physicists, with old spells and books being buried for thousands of years to let them lose their power safely and magic doing weird things when left alone).

Incidentally, exposure to massive amounts of energy might just have given birth to the ancestors of the Angel and Demon races, and by extension the Lazerai race, though what that means for Corey is unknown...

Anthri (my term for anthropomorphic animals and also for all humanoids: in this case, number 1) do not exist on Terra outside of stories and mythology. It's kind of hidden in one of my other posts... ah, here it is. It's under the "Wyvern" entry.

Hope this helps a bit.

[Tapewolf]

So, it's handled in the backstory?  I did not read those.  There has been a glut of worldbuilding articles in the Tower recently, and to be frank, I haven't been reading them.
I highly doubt I'm the only one, so it would be a really good idea if you folded the critical information into the story itself (something I wasn't too hot at with Future History, since it was originally intended to be read after Chronicles).

[Jairus]

So, it's handled in the backstory?  I did not read those.  There has been a glut of worldbuilding articles in the Tower recently, and to be frank, I haven't been reading them.
I highly doubt I'm the only one, so it would be a really good idea if you folded the critical information into the story itself (something I wasn't too hot at with Future History, since it was originally intended to be read after Chronicles).

Well, this is either A) a first draft short story or B) the prologue to a book where all of the important stuff gets mentioned eventually. But, yeah, I should mention somewhere that Corey is basically a winged human. I'll work on it.

Hm, I don't think I'll do a big thing tonight. I don't think I could get another nine pages or so out tonight. Maybe this weekend.

[Jairus]

Okay, I lied. I got nothing done today, because writing that whole thing yesterday seems to have temporarily drained me of my creativity: hopefully it'll be back on Friday, cause I'll basically have all day free to write something.

Now, the question I have for my three/four followers it: what should I do next? I'm currently working on a little thing that is a lot more independent of the main story, and is set when Nick is about eighteen and has only been in his house for about six months or so and has a few of his gadgets and inventions up and running. Here's a taste:

It was two in the morning in the Cidney house, and the house's sole resident wasn't asleep yet. In fact, eighteen-year-old Nicodemus Cidney was currently in his kitchen, nursing a mug of tea and wearing only his PJs and a robe. He was also writing something out on a pad of paper, but that wasn't all that unusual.
   He had been sitting there for three hours now, and there was a stack of paper covered in notes and hastily drawn diagrams and a handful of concept sketches set next to him, his glasses lying forgotten next to the stack. Even now, he tore off another sheet of paper and got to work on the one behind it, drawing what looked like a dramatically-updated version of a medieval knight's helmet. The pad had once had a hundred sheets on it, and was now down to about seventy sheets, and at the rate he was going it was going to be a long night -
      "Got it."
   - never mind.

Now, I'm just asking if I should try and finish it Friday, or do some more world-building stuff? You know, what do you guys want? I don't think anything will get up tomorrow, since I'm going to be spending the afternoon and evening out at dinner with family, but definitely something Friday.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Sole occupant, not soul.


Other than that, I went through and read your other story. I think you were trying to squeeze too much into too little space, in the second half, myself.

I could go into details, but it's a minor niggle; most of it was fairly good, and certainly your grasp of the language is fairly good. This is important for writing, and something that many fans tend to miss...

[Jairus]

Sole occupant, not soul.

Fixed, thanks for pointing it out.

Other than that, I went through and read your other story. I think you were trying to squeeze too much into too little space, in the second half, myself.

I know, it felt like that too. I'll probably end up working on it over the weekend... you know, when I should be doing homework or writing another story. I definitely want to finish this new one though: I think that techmaster-glitch and Pagan will be interested, since it's about the night that Nick designed the Roland's first prototype...

I could go into details, but it's a minor niggle; most of it was fairly good, and certainly your grasp of the language is fairly good. This is important for writing, and something that many fans tend to miss...

Thanks. Again, though, first draft, so it'll get cleaned up a bit.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Figured it might be. ;-]

[Jairus]

Figured it might be. ;-]

Hey, I wrote this thing while I was writing it. All I knew when I sat down to get started was that part one was going to read like some kind of action movie or overblown manga/anime fight scene, while part two was going to deconstruct that story and then tell the real story and also introduce six of the main characters (Corey, Nick, Tarn, Ariel, Franny, and Kyle). Part two is about a page longer than part one since I had to fit a bit in. I didn't outline it or anything. Come to think of it, that's how most of my actual writing works: I only have a general idea of where it's going to go, and I just see where it takes me. Which is not to say that I don't know the plot already, just that I don't know the specifics. Sometimes I surprise myself: originally I had no idea that Tarn would kiss Nick, until I got to that point and realized that that is exactly what she would do in that situation.

[techmaster-glitch]

So laaaate...Finally had time to actually sit down and read the last tech post. I like the Shell bots. Swarmbuilders FTW!

But sadly, I still do not have the time to actually read the new storieeeees ...so sorry

[Jairus]

So laaaate...Finally had time to actually sit down and read the last tech post. I like the Shell bots. Swarmbuilders FTW!

I thought you would like that. One little thing I forgot to mention is that the Shells each have a personal AI similar in scale to the one that runs Nick's lab. They're based on an AI that his sister developed for a video game, and they can learn and grow from their experiences. They're not a true Turing-class AI, but they each have their own little foibles and tricks. One of the robots even decided that it was female. Her original code was Edward (fifth of the six), but she goes by Edwina or "Ed" now. Hm, why did that jog a memory for some reason? The first robot is called Al, by the way.
By the way, did you catch this little mention hidden in one of my recent posts:

I definitely want to finish this new one though: I think that techmaster-glitch and Pagan will be interested, since it's about the night that Nick designed the Roland's first prototype...

Hehehe...

But sadly, I still do not have the time to actually read the new storieeeees ...so sorry

No worries, don't have to hurt yourself or anything. But everyone should have a good cry now and then.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

... So there's six edwards?

Ed, Edd, and Eddie, anyone?

[Jairus]

... So there's six edwards?

Ed, Edd, and Eddie, anyone?

A, B, C, D, E, F. Al, Ben, Chad, Drew, Ed (the girl), and Frank. Short, easy to remember and say, and in alphabetical order. Nick has stretched their names out to Albert, Benjamin, Charlie, Andrew, Edward/Edwina, and Francis, but he never calls them that, and to be frank they don't enjoy answering to them.

Okay, hopefully I should get my rear in gear and actually write something today, but if I don't get the story written I at least have an idea for three pieces of technology (for once, not invented by Nick), called Ward, Robe, and Armor.

EDIT: wow, over a 1000 page views? That does a lot for my fragile ego. Just kidding.

[Jairus]

Okay, I can't get this bloody story written out, and the stuff with the Ward, Robe, and Armor isn't going well, but I'm going to post something today! Race/species profiles, two of 'em! Short, simple, and sweet, because no representative of either of these two races shows up on Terra - and if they do, they're not important. These will also provide just a teeny-tiny bit of breeding information, so Pagan, you can pretend that Fluffy is reading these out loud if you want. Changelings and Demigods, here we go!

Changelings are the resultant offspring of the breeding of a Faerie with a mortal being (I say being, but really almost any interracial breeding will create a Changeling)(they're also technically a Fusion rather than a Hybrid, but Hybrid describes them pretty well). They are technically immortal, immune to the cold iron weakness of their Faerie cousins, extremely magical, stunningly beautiful, and have a tendency for being loners and stuck-up gits. They do have a justification for being so, though: being immortal, Changeling (and other immortal beings) have to face the aging and death of any mortal friends they have. Changeling tend to only have mortal friends when they are very young, when the experience of losing their first set of friends tends to be extremely traumatic and affects them for the remainder of their existence. Changeling - like Faerie - can also choose when they would like to die, so some Changeling after a few tens of thousand years choose to live with a group of friends, maybe start a family and adopt some orphans, and then die at the same time as their friends start dying off. Alternatively, they can hang out with other immortals, which leads into them being perceived of as haughty and stuck-up by other races who don't fully understand their existence. In terms of their appearance, Changeling basically look like the most gloriously beautiful members of their species, in fact so beautiful that you can tell them apart from normal members of their species that way: they just don't "fit" properly, but you have to practice for a little bit before you can recognize the uncanny valley feeling that you get when you watch them. They can be any species, though the Changeling abilities tend to override any magical powers or abilities of that nature, and it takes a little more effort on the part of the resultant Changeling to use their species gifts. They can also breed with basically anything, and the child will be a Changeling as well, though the matter of species comes down to hybrid genetics, and I'm still working on those: there are no half-Changelings. Changeling can also be killed via normal means, but it takes a lot more effort to kill them and they're still tremendously powerful mages. They all have magic, but it's more of a general magical ability than any genuine wizardry or something of that nature. When they use their magic, they tend to manifest a Faerie-like set of wings, but they aren't useful for flying and are more like magical energy projections or after-images than anything. Tolkein's elves would be classified as Changeling Humans.

Demigods are the resultant hybrids of a god and a mortal being mating. Really, there's not much else to say. Physically attractive (damn near perfect) and imbued with a fair amount of divine magic and powers, Demigods are also really really rare. Why? Because gods aren't physical beings (spiritual/magical), and thus don't technically have all of the parts. The pairs can only result under special circumstances (like, say, a really horny leader of the gods assaulting a woman in the form of a swan or a bull - and thus having the parts) can result in a demigod. Paradoxically, their rarity means that they show up in stories more often: destiny is really attracted to Hybrids (Destiny itself might deserve a topic: let's just say it's part of the force of wild magic like Faeries and Gods, and it's even closer to the true root of wild magic than either), so they just turn up proportionally really often. The child of a Demigod is not a demigod, but just a normal being: if they want a Demigod for a kid, they'd better have sex with another god (back off Zeus). Demigods have divine abilities that they all share (good looks, physical power, long life), but their other abilities (and their forms) are so diverse that you can't list them. They rarely have actual magical powers.

Okay. Questions. Ask them. Please...

[Jairus]

Okay, "The Covenant War" is basically the "high-fantasy" idea that's been bouncing around in my head for a long time. Terra's story (man do I need a name for that story: any suggestions?) is more of a video game fantasy, if you will. This story is nowhere near as developed as the story unfolding on Terra... okay, that's a lie. Um, let me try to explain.

The story of Terra (and no, it will not be Terra Tales or Tales of Terra or The Chronicles of Terra) is not developed. I have the characters, I know the "rules," I know things that will be revealed about the characters in due time, I know how their next story begins (and who doesn't make it that far...), and I know a few of the situations that they're going to go through, and I also know the big plot running behind it all... but I haven't got the story itself written. Whereas with this one, it's almost the opposite. The big plot's firmly written out in my head, the twists are there, the political intrigue among the Imperial family is planned out, the mythology and stories behind it all, and I still have the rules, and I even have an idea of what's going to happen to the world in a few millennia... but it's the characters who are not yet ready to go out. I already know how a bunch of my characters work, and I can get into their heads and see how they'd think. Tarn kissing Nick was totally unplanned on my part, but when I got to that section it just popped up in my mind and I knew that it's what she would do. Every time I try to write technobabble for Nick to say, I tone it down because I know that he'd never talk like that. The only times I can write Cornelius as the overblown heroic Dan-like character are when he's around people who aren't his friends or he doesn't know well, because he's a lot more mellow around his friends or alone. On the other, hand, there's only like two or three characters on Belenus who I understand to that degree, and one of them doesn't count. You should consider these real notes, rather than the fully formed ideas that drive Terra that I called notes. This is a completely different universe from Terra (literally!), so try not to mix them up.

   The world is called Belenus (temporary, will probably change). It has four major land masses, and two major oceans, commonly called the Great Sea and the Inner Sea: the land masses are in a rough ring around the Inner Sea. The vaguely crescent largest one is roughly half-again the size of the next largest, and is called the Continent of Gwyteg: Gwyteg is divided into Northern and Southern halves by a narrower section referred to as the Salem Region, and is the southwestern-most of the four. The next largest is the Olwech Continent, and is basically opposite Gwyteg. It is less elongated than Gwyteg as well, and is more plateau-like than the mountains of Gwyteg. South of both of these are the continents of Arben and Gwalses, which are roughly the same size. Arben is a mixture of mountains and plains, while Gwalses is almost completely made of almost uninhabitable mountains. In addition to this, there are a number of large and small islands scattered in archipelagoes and chains around the continents, but the largest one is the Kare Chain near the middle of the Great Sea. The largest island in the Central Sea is simply called the Gate.
   Northern Gwyteg is ruled by the Empire of Dein, while Southern Gwyteg is ruled by the Meridian Republic. The empire has a senate whose members are elected by the individual provinces that they govern in order to keep the Imperial Family in check: so far, they have done a fairly good job. The Meridian Republic is ruled by a parliament with a system similar to Dein's, though they are governed by a Prime Representative elected by the parliament themselves. The Salem region is divided into a number of kingdoms, the most famous - and important of which - is Garlon, ruled from the city of Gar Salem. The rulers of the various Salem kingdoms (commonly referred to as the Salem Confederation) are the descendants of the King Martongis, the ancient ruler of the whole of Gwyteg, and as such are very rarely at odds with one another. Though Olwech tends to stay out of Gwyteg affairs (and really isn't a major player in the story), it is divided into a number of smaller nations that more or less get along, and have a central government called the Olwech League that has no real power outside of keeping the peace. Neither Arben or Gwalses has a real central government, though Arben constituent city-states are currently working on uniting into a single government: they have not yet decided on a name. Olwech is still a loose collection of city-states, however. The island chains tend to either be ruled by the nation closest to them or have their own forms of government. Most of the archipelagoes of the Great Sea are either uninhabited or completely run themselves: the most famous is probably the Carbaireos chain, which is essentially ruled by pirates and smugglers. The Kare Chain is uninhabited by anyone, in part due to its remoteness and partly due to tradition. Gate is not ruled and is currently abandoned, and during the time of King Martongis was treated as neutral ground between the various states that existed in that era.

   The primary races are humans, elves and dwarves (my versions), though Changelings are not unknown and there are a number of other races that play major parts in the story: eventually I might talk about them. Wizards are almost completely unknown, with sorcery ruling the scene: witches are also rare, and warlocks are unknown.

   As for the term "The Covenant War..." Martongis wielded two swords in his life, one called Oath Keeper and the other called Covenant. It was with Covenant that he united the war-torn Gwyteg continent, and it was under Covenant that he launched an era of peace. Covenant was hidden shortly after his death, with only his descendants carrying the knowledge of where it had been hidden. Whoever wields Covenant will be able to unite the people of Gwyteg - or at least the Salem region - in battle. And considering that under the current Empress, the Empire has continued an era of expansion started by the prior Emperor, whoever wields Covenant can potentially end a war... or win one. Everyone wants it, though surprisingly most people don't care about Martongis' original sword Oath Keeper.

   As for Martongis himself... he is believed to have been descended of the last wizard Annwyn, a wizard so powerful that he froze the sun in the sky and even stopped the fighting between the gods that so ravished the land. Martongis was descended of a line of people called the Children of Annwyn, believed to have been the descendants of the Wizard Annwyn who mysteriously vanished five thousand years ago (a little more than four thousand years ago in the time of Martongis, so in the present it's been five thousand years - or more - since Annwyn walked Belenus). As such, the current rulers of the Salem Kingdoms have among their titles Child of Annwyn, and indeed it is said that only a Child of Annwyn can unite the world and bring everlasting peace...

   Okay, there are my preliminary notes for this high-fantasy of mine. And yes, Annwyn the Wizard has the same name as Annwyn Ydraigoch. Is there a connection? Maybe...

Hmm, I should do some more geography for Terra. Probably a good idea.

Okay, questions? Comments? Clarifications?

[Jairus]

This is a rough rough rough outline for the ten main heroes of the Covenant Wars. Yes, ten. They need ten. It's destiny. It's some ancient prophecy about needing nine and one. Stupid prophecy/parallels. Anyway, these aren't done, and are nowhere near done, but I'll expand them with proper entries when I get to that point. Sometime soon. Maybe.

Lady Eleanor "Ellie" za Valien-Randall Garlongis
   Crown Princess of Garlon and - following the last period of Imperial expansion and the deaths of her husband Lord Vincent Korinsogis and her father King Kayo Garlongis - the last living descendant of King Martongis, and therefore she is believed to be the last Child of Annwyn. Since the war's end and her kingdom's conquering four years ago, she has disappeared into the ranks of Bastion, the terrorist group fighting the Empire's power. She wishes to use the image of Covenant to free her kingdom and the other nations from the Empire's control. In battle, she wields a sword, as well healing and force magic through sorcery.

Kiyoshi "Kiyo" Ilzakar
   A man with a mysterious past. Born of Sakura Kiyoshi from the conquered island nation of Jin, he learned many of her ninja skills of assassination and infiltration. At some point, he abandoned whatever he was doing with his life and took up piracy. Unlike most of his colleagues, he holds himself up to very rigid standards, and is very much a gentleman: he also has no real hatred towards the Empire, and in fact has a sort of detachment from the whole thing. For some reason, no matter what clothes he wears, his right arm is always completely obscured by his gloves and a long sleeve. In battle, he wields a combination of semiautomatic gun and ninja sword, as well as a few varieties of martial arts. He also has a dashing smile and a handshake like steel.

Vart'elu'moeja "Telum"
   A Changeling from the Fae Kingdom, Telum is a several-thousand year old male who left the kingdom for unknown reasons about ten years ago. He has since teamed up with Kiyo and Calvin as a sort of pirating team, and the three have been fairly successful over the years. Aside from his Changeling general magical abilities, Telum also uses a combination of bow and saber in battle.

Hobessu "Calvin" to Karuben
   A member of the rare Aneshrii race, the tigress Calvin happened to travel to Carbaireos Chain in search of adventure, where she met Kiyo and Telum. She has proven to be a capable ship's mechanic, and her immense physical strength and abilities make her invaluable in a fight (more than a few barroom brawls have been ended by her). In battle, she wields a pair of gauntlets and her own physical strength, though she is also known to use heavy firepower on occasion. She is also unaware that "Calvin" is not a girl's name, or if she does no she doesn't give a damn.

Sir Aaren mor Dukai
   A knight of the conquered kingdom of Anelene, Aaren migrated to Korinso and served in the army there before being captured soon after the last war ended. He is a talented and wise leader, and his squads had a tendency of coming back in better condition than other units. He is also willing to use new tactics and technology in his style, as is evidenced by his willingness to use firearms in addition to melee weapons. Though he has been out of action for the last four years, his loyalty to the kingdoms of Salem has not faltered. In battle, he uses two kinds of weapons. The first is a katana that he picked up in Jin a long time ago, and the second is a combination of different firearms (the sniper rifle in particular was his favorite during the war).

Bium Dro Den "Den"
   A dwarven adventurer, Den retired about twenty years ago from the business. He has since started up Den's Den, one of the more famous taverns in Gar Salem. Though he has no children to call his own, he considers the four teenagers who currently live with him to be his family. He is a firm but fair man, who is a bit traditional in his ways. His anger at the Empire is a little less focused than most of the others, but it is there nonetheless. In battle, he uses lances and spears, as well as wind and earth magic.

Viana Clyne
   The oldest of Den's adopted children, Viana is also the most mature and responsible, which probably explains why she acts very much like a mother - or at least an aunt to the two surviving children. She has devoted most of her spare time to the study of sorcery, and is an extremely powerful mage. While she has no real love lost for the Empire, she deeply cares for her home and will do a lot to protect it from harm. In battle, she wields a magical staff and a wide variety of magical skills.

Artelie Bium
   A girl who lost her family at a very young age, Artelie was taken in by the Noel family, before they died during a disease outbreak in the city. She and Taph and Treyl were the only survivors, and shortly afterwards were taken in by Den. Her experiences with the war - specifically the loss of her "big sister" Taph - have changed her, and she seems to have lost a lot of hope for the future. While she has no real combat style yet, Den has been training her with staffs and other pole arm weapons - though she might learn some new weapon skills as time goes on - as well as a certain amount of Nature-aligned Magic.

Treyl Noel
   The younger brother of Taph Noel, Treyl holds a great deal of resentment towards both the empire and the kingdom for the loss of his older sister (the only family he had left) and the loss of his nation's sovereignty following its surrender. As such, he wants nothing to do with either the rebellion against the empire or the empire itself. He cares deeply for what family he has left, but at the same time wishes to run as far away as he can from the war and anything related to it, though he has yet to figure out how he's going to do that. In battle, he wields a sword and dagger combo, and over the course of the story he picks up some magical skills.

Dreksa Stargazer
   A mysterious swordsman who doesn't talk about his past, Dreksa showed up the day of an attack by Bastion against an Imperial Prince, and shortly thereafter is drawn into the fight. He has demonstrated a vast array of martial and magical skills, and seems to be taking Viana under his wing as an unofficial apprentice. He truly has no side in the war, and from the way he acts it's almost as if he didn't even know there was a war going on: he even goes so far as to disarm or stun his opponents whenever he can, rather than kill them. He carries two swords (a black one called Stigmata and a silver one with blood-red highlights that he does not state a name for), and tends to wear a dark overcoat. In battle, he uses Stigmata and a wide array of magical skills, though he seems to prefer physical combat.

Okay, next agenda is to fix these up.

Okay. Questions? Comments? Clarifications? Concerns? WTFs?

[Ren Gaulen]

Nice, nice.. You clearly spent some time developing the characters, they all seem quite interesting. "Calvin" just cracked me up, and so did Aaren "Mordekhai" mor Dukai. Dreksa sounds a bit like Vash the Stampade, but that's not a bad thing. Also, Kiyo - a pirate-ninja? Neat.

[Jairus]

Nice, nice.. You clearly spent some time developing the characters, they all seem quite interesting. "Calvin" just cracked me up, and so did Aaren "Mordekhai" mor Dukai.

Well, to be blunt, Aaren is based on an old character of mine called "Aaron Mordecai Levi." Consider this Aaren an expy of that Aaron as he would be at the end of his story, plus five or so years of imprisonment. Really, though, you didn't catch the reference to a certain swordsman hidden in his first name?

Dreksa sounds a bit like Vash the Stampade, but that's not a bad thing.

Hm, I've never watched Trigun, so I wouldn't know. Dreksa is meant to be a mystery, especially since this story is his first appearance, meaning that all the stuff in his profile (a few pages back in this thread), wouldn't have been released.

Also, Kiyo - a pirate-ninja? Neat.

It gets even better: that right arm of his that's always hidden? It's a magitek prosthetic. Put two-and-two-and-two together. Heeheeheeheehee.
Also, to tell the truth, he doesn't talk about his past, so Kiyoshi Ilzakar isn't his real name.

Trivia fact: Viana and Treyl are the predecessors in my mind to Francine and Cornelius. These could be considered their earliest versions.

Okay, next for the Covenant Wars: secondary characters. Hopefully.

[Ren Gaulen]

Really, though, you didn't catch the reference to a certain swordsman hidden in his first name?

Oh, you mean Aaren/Auron? I got it, just forgot to mention.

[Jairus]

Really, though, you didn't catch the reference to a certain swordsman hidden in his first name?

Oh, you mean Aaren/Auron? I got it, just forgot to mention.

Eh, not what I had in mind, but we'll go with it.

[Jairus]

Okay, so no secondary characters for the "Covenant War" tonight. Instead, how about some... TECHNOLOGY?

Basically everything on Belenus is driven by clockwork, magitek, or pure magic. Some cities/cultures use steam and diesel power, but most of the nations/cities (especially the ones the story deals with) basically use magic to power everything. A lot of larger skyships have a back-up steam-based generator to run more high-energy systems. Diesel power in particular is a rather new addition to the power supply family, and is mainly used on really big installations that need a lot of power right now. There are a handful of oil refineries in existence, but they're fairly scattered and tend to be controlled by the larger nations. The Empire currently has the largest amount of oil refineries and controls a few of the major oil fields. Part of the reason that magitek advanced so quickly is the natural presence of low-grade sorcerer's crystals (a sort of unrefined naturally-occurring sorcerer's stone that once drained of power shatters and is rendered unusable) which made it fairly easy to design machinery that worked on generating power collected magical energy. It was the creation of synthetic magical condensing arrays that consigned fossil fuel engines to use by only the most energy-intensive devices. Albeit, these magic-collection arrays are not exactly something that can be carried around easily (the smallest is about the size of a really large backpack), so you have to have a system to spread the power around. The technology of their world is starting to come somewhat more in line with ours, but this is a recent thing for them.

They also have a sort of magitek computer set-up. These are actually fairly common, and are installed in basically ever skycraft and most installations. They are a little too expensive for most citizens to own (and a little large), so most computers are in government or public hands (like for libraries). They're actually a sort of Babbage-style difference engine thing, but taken to the next level of tech: computers of the present day even have primitive circuitry and vacuum tubes, so they're approaching the level of ENIAC, except more portable. Skycraft need these engines in order to function, given the complexity of their power cores, lift rings, control services, and all of the things necessary to run even a fighter skycraft: larger skycraft may require several large computer engines in order to function properly. Magitek prostheses (like the one Kiyo has to replace his arm), are basically clockwork driven with a few extra components to convert neural patterns into a usable format. Doctor Rafe has designed what is essentially a clockwork magitek laptop, though it has no internal power source and is really more of a portable desktop computer. All of this is really only possible through magic: strictly speaking, none of their tech is really at our level.

Weapons tech: Guns are somewhere between Revolutionary War/American Civil War/pre-World War I tech; we're talking real schizo-style tech here. Most firearms use gunpowder or some explosive to drive them, though there are a handful of magnetic-driven rail launchers being installed on certain Imperial vessels. Most handheld weapons are multi-shot affairs designed similarly to revolvers (so a semi-automatic rifle has a large revolver cylinder rather than a bottom-loading cartridge), but a handful of prototype and high-end weapons use a cartridge-like system. There are no handheld automatic weapons as of yet: what few weapons exist are too large to be transported by hand, and as such are mounted on vehicles. In addition, the only truly automatic weapon in use is a large Rotary Auto-Cannon or RAC, designed by Doctor Rafe of the Royal Imperial Research and Design Institute. This is essentially a gatling gun that is mounted on Imperial Gunboats as anti-personnel weaponry, though as Gunboat gunners are discovering it does work as an anti-skycraft weapon. Most heavy ship weapons are single shot guns, ranging from smaller semi-automatic cannons designed for anti-fighter warfare to large anti-ship cannons, though most of these are fed by some kind of ammo loading system like a belt or hopper. There are also what are essentially magitek beam cannons, though these are massive inefficient things that only a handful of ships can properly use: however, they are typically designed as turrets to get the most use possible out of them. Missiles also exist, some of the more advanced and recent versions even incorporating primitive computer engine brains to give them some auto-tracking capabilities. Some older missile-like weapons used magic spells as a sort of locking device, but these designs aren't really used anymore. A lot of fantasy-styled weapons are still in use, such as bows and crossbows and swords and other weaponry of that nature, but these are still used for two reasons: one, widespread use of spells has allowed these weapons to stay useful and powerful on at least the ground battle fields, and two, magic is still on of the best ways to deal a lot of damage in a hurry. However, guns are rapidly gaining favor on the battlefield, and most adventuring groups don't go far without a gunner of some form or another. Imperial Marksman are deadly on the battlefield, and armor tech is hard-pressed to keep up with the latest advances in bullet and firearms tech. When it comes to weapons tech, Imperials tend to be slightly ahead of the curve. One of their more recent innovations is a sort of magitek powered armor, which was introduced four years ago during the war in which Garlon and Korinso were conquered. More recent versions are even more powerful, and the Imperial Armor corps was founded in order to maximize usage of this armor.

In terms of magic, wizardry and warlockry are either unknown or legends. All controlled magic is sorcery. Magic is really widespread, and most people know a handful of healing spells or some low-level offensive and defensive magic for self-protection. They are not really considered mages, however, and sorcery is still a life-long endeavor of study and research. Most towns and cities have a sorcerer willing to pass on spells to those who need them... for a price. Also, the widespread use of magic spells and the ease of acquiring and using them means that a lot of good quality weapons tend to have some form of enchantment on them, whether it's a self-sharpening spell or an automatic elemental ability or something else. It's the use of these enchantments and magical weapons that has somewhat degraded the development of firearms on their world. Armor and shields are also enchanted, and there's a thriving business for the manufacturing, trading, and purchasing of these weapons and defenses. Ammunition can also be enchanted, but to be frank it's easier to put a high-level fire elemental enchantment on a bow than it is to put a dozen or so low-level ones on arrows. Armies have mage corps, with the Imperial Magi being especially feared among soldiers due to their high-level equipment and training. Cities and installations employ powerful magical barriers in addition to their own physical walls for protection from attack. Magical combat was a lot more common in ancient wars, and a number of old weapons are still roaming the wilderness or sitting buried in abandoned craft or buildings.

Transportation is mostly done by one of three ways: land, sea, and air. Sea-wise, most sea transportation is fairly limited, mainly between close islands and landmasses, mainly due to the widespread nature of air transportation. Some islands do employ seacraft as warships, though these are rare and more suited to defense than actual combat. Land transportation is actually fairly low-tech, all things considered: mechanized transports are rare, with most ground transportation done using saurians or proto-avions. Dragoons and other mounted soldiers ride astride carnivorous saurians, while some ancient warriors actually rode giant flying birds into battle. Ground travel is done by either those who cannot afford air travel, short distance travelers, those who enjoy the journey, or those who would prefer to avoid being seen in skyports. Most transportation is done through the use of magitek driven skycraft, which range in size from tiny one-person fighters to massive air-born carriers. Skycraft use some of the most powerful magic collection grids in use, and use that energy in a variety of ways to achieve lift. All are borne aloft by a "lift core," but their means of movement are different: some use them to drive propellers, other use ducted fans, while more recent version use something called a "lift ring" which is basically a hybrid of a propeller and a jet engine. Military skycraft are extremely impressive weapons, and their introduction basically destroyed the use of land- and sea-based weaponry in warfare - or at least aside from invasion and ground battles. Civilian craft range from small one-or-two person things to massive cruise liners that can transport hundreds of passengers at a time, though the current state of affairs in Gwyteg somewhat limits their usage.

...

Crud, I don't know what to say next. Okay, questions, comments, WTFs, ideas for my next topic?

[Jairus]

   Okay, there's not much to talk about. This is quick, dirty, and a first draft... again. Thankfully, though, this shouldn't be as long as the last one. And yes, I know it's not that well written. I don't think it's as good as the last one.

   Incidentally: Really? No tech questions? Shoot. I wanted to answer something, I miss answering questions. It makes it easy to make my thread quota for the day.

   Anyway, this is just a quick little scene I wrote out: it's not a full thing in and of itself.

"Wanderer's Arrival"

   Earlier that morning, a man walked towards Gar Salem without a care in the world, or if he had any he wasn't showing it.
   The path he was walking was one of the old trade roads that used to connect the cities together before the advent of skycraft transportation. They were extremely well designed, which is probably why they still existed in enough repair to safely walk them. This particular one ran through a forest before eventually hitting plains and farmland down closer to Gar Salem. Light filtered down through the branches above, and occasionally the sound of some beast in the bushes would disturb the silence. A faint breeze filled the area, carrying with it the smells of the end of summer and the beginning of fall. A crude handmade sign - seemingly made to replace the broken marker beneath it - told the traveler that Gar Salem was "That Way." There was no hurry to his step: he'd get there eventually. In the meantime, it looked like it was going to be a beautiful day.
   It was the kind of stride that one only uses if one had a very good day the day before and a good night's sleep on top of that, and if one is confident in the knowledge that they day couldn't go wrong. The traveler was even whistling as he went along, sometimes even doing a little skip somewhere in the middle of a step. It certainly helped that the traveler was also secure in the knowledge that any trouble that came up that day would be easy to handle. And yes, he knew about the wyvern that lived in the cave up the hill.
   A few hours passed, and it got warmer as the sun climbed. The man passed a few groups heading in the opposite direction, and even passed one heading the same way... but not before exchanging pleasantries and news and gossip with the groups. Most of the travelers seemed to hold some resentment for the Empire, he noted. Interesting. He did, however, tip his hat and get some information from a patrolling trio of Imperial soldiers before wishing them a good day and using a simple repair spell to fix one of the soldier's pair of binoculars. One of the soldiers told him where he could go in Gar Salem if he wanted to join up with the Imperial Army: according to them, a man with his skills would make an incredible Magi. He noted with a laugh that he wasn't one for wars or fighting of that nature, and bade them a pleasant goodbye. He also used a simple spell to listen in on their conversation as he walked away: apparently they were very unused to meeting someone like him, so friendly towards the conquering forces.
   This man wasn't a citizen of a nation conquered by the Empire, or even an Imperial citizen. He wasn't really a traveler or tourist, or a spy or anything like that. In fact, he didn't seem to fit, as if he was a piece of a puzzle that wasn't quite right. There were a few things that didn't feel right, if you spent too much time watching him.
   His clothes, for example: traveler's clothes they might have been, but far too well maintained for someone who conceivably spent most of his time walking or running.  To be blunt, they were adventurers clothes, complete with a few well-hidden pieces of armor and an handful of extra pouches for supplies and equipment. The black overcoat he wore was immaculate, as if it repelled dust and dirt wherever he walked: it even flowed in the breeze right. Dark glasses protected and hid his eyes from the sun and other's prying eyes, and the whole thing was topped off with a make of hat that had only rarely been seen on the Gwyteg continent. He also carried no apparent supplies, outside of the two pouches strapped to his belt and a canteen on a loop on his belt that he now took a drink from.
   Then there was the matter of his sword. Really, it looked like pretty much any other magical blade: ebony-black, too many extra features, strange markings and lines all over it, a purple-blue crystal set at the intersection of hilt and blade, mechanical components with no immediately apparent function, and on the few occasions he had drawn it it had revealed an edge sharp enough to cut air in half... really, nothing unusual for an adventurers blade. Then again, the sheath was made of metal, which was absolutely insane to use to protect a sword given that ordinarily it would dull a blade in no time. Since some good enchanted swords were self-sharpening, this wasn't too weird, just a little strange. And there was the fact that currently the sword was speaking to its master. That was both weird and strange.
   With all of the majesty that an ancient and magical blade could summon, it asked of its master "Are we there yet?"
      "Not yet," he replied. "And remember to keep quiet while inside the city. I don't want to have to play ventriloquist again."
      "Yes, sir."
   The traveler had been looking ahead on the trail, and then said "Best start now."
   The sword didn't respond.
      "Good boy."
   No response again.
   The reason he had asked for the sword's silence soon became apparent: a small outpost some distance outside of the city. It was more of a stopping point on the trail before the relatively shade-less remainder of the road. A couple of farmhouse-like buildings set up on a point where another path - this one from the south - joined up with the northern road and the one leading east to Gar Salem.
   There was a boy sitting beside a water pump, while a man the traveler assumed was his father was watering some saurians. They were stej, easily identifiable by the four spikes on the tail and the cooling scales on top. Their spikes were dulled slightly: considering that a full-grown stej could do nasty damage to even a suit of armor, that was no surprise.
      "H'llo!" the boy cried.
      "Hello," the man returned.
      "Thirsty, mister?"
      "A little."
   The boy held out his hand for the canteen and then refilled it. As the traveler was taking it back, he asked "About how much farther to Gar Salem?"
   The man looked up. "About an hour or so, depending on how fast you walk." He pointed in the general direction of a rocky outcropping, above which one could see a few spires sticking up. "You in any particular hurry?"
      "Not really. Should I be?"
   The man shrugged. "The new Duke of Garlon arrives today."
      "I heard that on the way here," the man said as he sat down on a nearby rock. "Prince Aleyand, correct? Fifth Prince of the Empress?"
      "Everyone knows that," the man intoned. "Mind, I never cared much for the Imperial family, but the Prince and his little sister are the better ones."
   The traveler nodded. "Of course, the fact that he's an Imperial means that he's not exactly going to have a royal welcome to the city."
      "Hah! You can say that again!"
   A groan from the nearby cottage interrupted their conversation. The traveler looked up. "What was that?"
      "My wife. One of the stej" – and he seemed to generally indicate the one in particular – "was sick two nights ago and was wandering around and she got whacked in the leg. Clean break from what I can tell, but I can't afford a healer and what little magic I've got can't heal her in a hurry. She'll be down for a week or so, and unfortunately she's in a lot of pain."
   The traveler stood up. "I can help her."
      "You can? I just told you, I can't afford a healer right now."
   But the traveler was already inside the cottage and walking over to the woman lying prone on what looked like an old couch. "Hello miss."
   She looked up. He knew type: the hardworking kind of person who felt a little nuts at being forced to stay relatively still for an extended period of time. He left leg was in a rough splint, and a handful of healing potions - the low-grade kind that only worked with multiple doses - were next to her at a table. "Hello, sir. Can I help you?"
   He lifted his hand and concentrated on a healing spell and began to channel magic. "Just hold still for a second." And that was literally all that it took: broken bones instantly knit themselves together, pain lessened, and within a handful of seconds it was like her leg had never been broken in the first place. "I'd keep weight off of it for a day, but otherwise everything should be all right."
   Her husband was right behind him and about to voice some protest when the traveler spoke up. "And I'm not going to charge you for anything. I'm glad to have helped you out."
      "Um, thank you, sir."
      "And really, don't mention it." He extended a hand to help her pull herself into a sitting position so that she and her husband could undo the splint. A few minutes later, she was up and moving about and talking about how she could help with the stej the next day. And meanwhile they couldn't stop thanking the traveler for his help. He eventually turned down an invitation to a simple lunch, and wished them a good day before heading off towards the city.
      "Hey mister!"
   He turned back towards the cottage and looked at the boy. "Yes?"
      "What was your name again?"
   He gave a light chuckle. "The name's Dreksa!"
      "Thank you Mister Dreksa!" he said as he waved goodbye and began walking through the farmlands and cottages that dotted the landscape around the walled city. Along the way, he continued to exchange information that only seemed to confirm the general attitude of resentment towards the new Duke in general and the Empire in specific. What with all of the stops, it actually ended up taking about an hour and a half to finally reach the city's east gate. And the sword didn't say a word the whole time.
   He had to admire the design. The city had been built to handle an invasion: thick high walls to protect from the ground, and he could recognize focus points for a defensive barrier to be projected from. The city had four gates, one on each side, and each set deep into the walls: easily defendable positions even if someone got past the river that had been redirected into a large moat around the city and the mechanical bridges that crossed them. He had to idly wonder how many invasions that Gar Salem had faced before the Empire had conquered it: it was one of a handful of cities at crucial points in the lines of trade, easily defended and a stronghold against invasion. Cities on trade routes were always hotly contested.
   Already Dreksa was wondering where the secret passages in and out were and how much the barrier could take before it fell.
   Dreksa paused briefly at the entrance to the massive vestibule, and briefly consulted the collected stalls and travelers and traders. At the moment, none of them were giving him any attention. Good.
      "Stigmata, storage mode."
   Stigmata continued to follow his earlier advice to remain silent. Without a word, the sword and sheath at his waist seemed to expand slightly until one who looked very closely at it could see space between most of the strange lines. Each piece seemed to briefly glow before vanishing, until finally all that was left was the violet crystal that had sat at Stigmata's heart. A second flash, and a medallion-like structure formed around the crystal. All he had to do was place it around his neck, and it could be any ordinary mystical amulet or protection or some such thing. Considering that weapons tended to attract the wrong sort of attention inside of a city, a mere mystical amulet was a bit more unnoticeable. Besides, he had a feeling that weapons like his wouldn't be allowed past the gates. Anyway...
   The gates themselves were currently open, but had a line of Imperial soldiers in full armor guarding the threshold itself. It would be easy to walk between them, and most people were in fact doing that. Already Dreksa's instincts had pinpointed a number of gunners atop the walls. This would not be a good place to cause a problem. As it was, he had the feeling he was going to get stopped on his way through.
      "Sir?"
   Yep.
      "Yes, officer, can I help you?" he asked as he turned towards the inquiring soldier, removing his glasses at the same time.
      "I just want to check you out, sir. We want to avoid trouble today."
      "Well, the new Duke's coming in. I can understand your concerns."
   The guard lifted his faceplate. His dark hair and facial structure hinted at a background hailing from the Jin province. He looked like he was fairly friendly outside of office hours. He was also armed with a standard issue sword, buckler, and sidearm. Dreksa had also already figured out how to disarm him in as little effort as possible, and was halfway through a plan for the rest of the guards.
      "What's your name?"
      "Dreksa. Never really saw much need for a last name since I've never met anyone else with my first name."
      "From where do you hail?"
      "Nowhere in particular. Just a little village in the mountains of Olwech, but that was a long time ago. I'm kind of a wanderer now."
      "You have family there?"
      "Not any more."
      "My condolences," the soldier said with a respectful nod.
      "No worries. Again, that was a long time ago."
      "You are quite a distance from home."
      "Eh, if you set your mind to it you can get anywhere eventually by walking."
   It wasn't much of a joke, but it earned a brief chuckle from the both of them. Olwech was on the other side of the Inner Sea, practically the other side of the world.
      "Traveler?" he asked, indicating the heavy-wearing clothing.
      "More or less. Really, I'm a wanderer, just going wherever strikes my fancy. I'm also a bit of a sorcerer."
      "Sorcerer? The traveling healer and protector sort?"
      "Basically. Just healed a woman's broken leg about two hours ago at this little homestead. I also help handle beasts and other problems when they arise. I prefer not to kill them unless it's necessary, though."
      "Do you have a staff?"
      "Actually, I had a bit of an accident and it was destroyed beyond repair. I'm hoping to find a replacement here. I've heard they make good magical staffs."
      "That they do, but they can be a bit expensive. Try to find a bargain on the bazaar, they're cheaper but you'll have to look a little longer and more carefully. Try not to be taken in by a convincing salesman"
      "Ah, thank you for the warning."
   From what he could tell, the soldier who had clandestinely been using a scan spell on him had turned up dry: he wasn't carrying any concealed weaponry anyway. Well, none that they could detect. The other soldier gave a brief wave to Dreksa's interviewer that the traveler was clear. The soldier started wrapping the conversation up.
      "Try to avoid causing trouble in the city."
      "Trust me, I try to avoid trouble whenever I can."
      "Have a good day, sir." The guard gave a small salute and then closed the faceplate and waved Dreksa through into Gar Salem. The glasses were back on as he crossed into the hustle and bustle.
   Most cities have a bazaar or a similar area where almost anything can be bought and/or sold. This was not that area. Most cities also have a sort of "greeting area" where they get a chance to put their best foot forward and impress the visitors. This was that area. Travelers and salesmen and citizens of all ages and genders and races and species could be seen milling about, going on and doing the little activities that have to happen in order for a city to thrive and function. Several large carts filled with wheat were being unloaded into underground storage bunkers, while a handful of stej plumped for the slaughter were heading towards one of the butcher's shops. All in all, things seemed to be healthy... or it would be if it weren't for the general air of unease and mistrust that permeated the environment. Half-hidden furtive glances at Imperial soldiers seemed to be going on all the time, while the Imperials went about their business looking threatening in their mass-produced plate armor suits. Decorations were up for the Duke's arrival and the feast that he presumed would be taking place that evening, but not many people seemed to be celebrating.
   A brief consultation of an information center provided him with a map to help him get around. Further consultation of the map provided told him to head left at this particular road to go into the shopping district. He avoided an oncoming cart and stopped at a corner to look for a tavern or inn of some kind. He could actually use a quick bite...
      "oof!"
   A quick-moving blur seemed to have run right into him while running at full speed, knocking both him and the other person down to the cobbled streets. In Dreksa's case it also knocked off his sunglasses and his hat.
      "Sorry!" came an excited voice as the other person clambered back to their feet and kept running. Dreksa had a brief impression of a young man - barely a teenager - with mid-length black hair and a lightweight outfit before the sound of glass breaking shattered his reverie.
      "Sorry again!" the voice yelled back as it turned the corner and kept running.
   The broken glass had been his glasses where the boy in question had trod on them by accident. Dreksa briefly contemplated their fate until...
      "Civilian!"
   Dreksa looked up to see two very angry Imperial soldiers in full armor coming to a stop in front of him. "Yes, officers?" he asked from the dusty cobbles.
      "Which way did he go?"
      "He? Oh, the boy who hit me? He went that way," he said as he pointed. They ran that way... the wrong way, in fact.
      "Why'd ya do that?" asked a nearby scarf vendor.
      "Eh, everyone makes mistakes. Besides, they were just glasses, nothing too serious," Dreksa stated as he climbed back up to his feet and grabbed his hat. The vendor, meanwhile, was looking at the bent frames and shattered lenses.
      "Man, those look expensive. Ten crowns, at least. If they'd caught him, you could have gotten them replaced." The vendor looked up in time to see Dreksa pull a protective case out from one of his pouches and remove an identical pair of sunglasses to the broken pair.
      "As I said, nothing too serious," he said with a grin as he put the pair on. He began to walk away, when a thought seemed to occur to him. "Pardon me, sir, but could you direct me towards a good inn or bar?"
      "Sure, Den's Den. Two blocks that way, make a left, then a right. It's on your left hand side, you can't miss it."
      "Thank you. You have a good day." He turned to continue walking, and then stopped. "Pardon me, is this your hat?" he asked as he lifted a floppy hat off of the ground.
      "Not mine. Must of been the kid's. Heh, you got something of his anyway."
      "Indeed. Thank you again," he said as he walked in the direction of Den's Den.
   He walked for about a block before moving into an alley for a moment.
   "Something big is about to go down, I can feel it," the wanderer thought to himself as he turned the floppy hat over in his hands, examining the faded material. It really was a simple thing, more like a fishing cap than anything. Someone had stitched "T.N." into the brim of the hat; possibly it was the boy's initials. The hat looked like it had been bought in a store a long time ago, but now it had been patched and stitched so much that it was practically homemade. "Nice hat," he thought without a trace of irony.
   But it was the truth. Something big was about to happen.
   Dreksa took a deep breath and gave a sigh that was somehow contented and resigned.
   It looked like it was going to be an interesting day.


Good gods it's almost six freaking pages on my computer. About 3,300 words all total. Damn. Okay, again it's rough, and remember this is more like a chapter than a short story, so it doesn't tell everything.

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Mistakes that you caught? More questions? Tech questions? Any sort of questions? Really, I love it when you ask questions: it makes it easier for me to write things.

[Jairus]

Just a quick post: I've made a few minor edits to "Wanderer's Arrival," fixed a few mistakes and such. Also fixed a plot whole and dropped a few more hints.

Anyway, I think that for my next thing I'll do the viewpoint of the boy who ran into Dreksa, tell what he was doing. Either that or something else, I don't know which. Any advice?